M
mikkib
Guest
I just found this site yesterday, and I'm wondering if there's anyone out there with a success story with CSE.
I was 19 when I had my daughter. I was not married, but living with my b/f when I got pregnant. We stayed together throughout the pregnancy and broke up when my daughter was 10 months old. I started working full time for $5.00/hr and was paying $70.00 per week for daycare. I found a second job that allowed me to bring my daughter at night to try my best to make ends meet.
I went the Rhode Island CSE to start the process of collecting some child support in earrly 1988. My ex b/f was making $13.00/hr at the time and was able to afford a real lawyer. His lawyer advised him to deny paternity which he did. It took 11 months before CSE served my ex with the order to submit to a blood test, and all the while since he was denying paternity, he chose not to visit my daughter or help out at all. The following day rather than go through with the blood test, he admitted paternity so the process of getting a child support agreement started.
It took from the time my daughter was 10 month old untill she was 2 1/2 to complete this process using CSE. When I finally had a support agreement, he got visitation. I thought it was best for my daughter to have a relationship with her dad, so even though I had some issues with it, I felt it was for the best. By this time, I had taken a 3rd job waitressing on weekends, and was really counting on him to live up to the visitation agreement so I wouldn't have to find/pay for daycare on weekends. He showed up the first couple of weeks, payed CS ($76.00 wk) a couple of times and then just stopped.
With help from my family, I got a lawyer and took him back to court when he owed over $4,000 in CS around 1990. The judge ordered him to pay $1,000 in back support and to live up to the agreement or he'd go to jail. He made another court date for the following month. That's the last time I saw or heard from him. I expected that since he didn't show up for court there'd be a bench warrent for him, and someone would be actively working on my case.
I got the same run-around I've read about so many times on this site from CSE. Each time I called to check on the status, there had been no update. Then one day I spotted him in our home town in the back of one of his friends cars. I called the local police department and they said that unless I could provide an address for him there was nothing they could do.
I decided not to pursue it anymore, and to do something more productive and more likely to pan out. I worked two jobs and went to night school. Eventually, we moved to Florida (cost of living is much lower than in RI), and in 1998 the state of RI CSE sent me a letter saying that at that point the arrearage was over $60,000 but since I don't live there anymore, they would not be handling the case. I filed with CSE here in Florida, and have gotten absolutely nowhere now in almost 3 years. I checked again yesterday and I got the same old thing. "There's no update, call back in 30 days....." AHHHHHHHHHHHH
I know this sounds negative, but I keep hearing about how things are getting better and deadbeat parents aren't getting away with it anymore, but my daughter is 15 and I've been trying to get support for 12 years!!!!
I think it's so sad that she's missed out on alot of parenting, because I've had to struggle so hard just to keep a roof over her head and food in her belly.
Can anyone provide any suggestions on how to get CSE going????
I was 19 when I had my daughter. I was not married, but living with my b/f when I got pregnant. We stayed together throughout the pregnancy and broke up when my daughter was 10 months old. I started working full time for $5.00/hr and was paying $70.00 per week for daycare. I found a second job that allowed me to bring my daughter at night to try my best to make ends meet.
I went the Rhode Island CSE to start the process of collecting some child support in earrly 1988. My ex b/f was making $13.00/hr at the time and was able to afford a real lawyer. His lawyer advised him to deny paternity which he did. It took 11 months before CSE served my ex with the order to submit to a blood test, and all the while since he was denying paternity, he chose not to visit my daughter or help out at all. The following day rather than go through with the blood test, he admitted paternity so the process of getting a child support agreement started.
It took from the time my daughter was 10 month old untill she was 2 1/2 to complete this process using CSE. When I finally had a support agreement, he got visitation. I thought it was best for my daughter to have a relationship with her dad, so even though I had some issues with it, I felt it was for the best. By this time, I had taken a 3rd job waitressing on weekends, and was really counting on him to live up to the visitation agreement so I wouldn't have to find/pay for daycare on weekends. He showed up the first couple of weeks, payed CS ($76.00 wk) a couple of times and then just stopped.
With help from my family, I got a lawyer and took him back to court when he owed over $4,000 in CS around 1990. The judge ordered him to pay $1,000 in back support and to live up to the agreement or he'd go to jail. He made another court date for the following month. That's the last time I saw or heard from him. I expected that since he didn't show up for court there'd be a bench warrent for him, and someone would be actively working on my case.
I got the same run-around I've read about so many times on this site from CSE. Each time I called to check on the status, there had been no update. Then one day I spotted him in our home town in the back of one of his friends cars. I called the local police department and they said that unless I could provide an address for him there was nothing they could do.
I decided not to pursue it anymore, and to do something more productive and more likely to pan out. I worked two jobs and went to night school. Eventually, we moved to Florida (cost of living is much lower than in RI), and in 1998 the state of RI CSE sent me a letter saying that at that point the arrearage was over $60,000 but since I don't live there anymore, they would not be handling the case. I filed with CSE here in Florida, and have gotten absolutely nowhere now in almost 3 years. I checked again yesterday and I got the same old thing. "There's no update, call back in 30 days....." AHHHHHHHHHHHH
I know this sounds negative, but I keep hearing about how things are getting better and deadbeat parents aren't getting away with it anymore, but my daughter is 15 and I've been trying to get support for 12 years!!!!
I think it's so sad that she's missed out on alot of parenting, because I've had to struggle so hard just to keep a roof over her head and food in her belly.
Can anyone provide any suggestions on how to get CSE going????