Child visitation w/a ward of the state

[Mrs. Lee]

mississippi; I am asking for a divorce from my husband who was in an auto accident on january 27, 2000. a conservatorship was set up for him therefore, he was ruled incompentent. his new conservator is contesting my divorce because she wants visitation with our little girl. the doctors advise against it. is there any way from keeping it from going to trial? i do not believe he should have visistation because she is not safe around him. she can not be left alone with him. his behavior is unpredictable. the whole left side of his brain was removed.

 

[mel14397]

i think the only way to avoid trial is if the two parties agree on a solution. the only other option is to go to trial pleed your case and possibly if all else fails provide him with supervised visitation rights, possibly with you or a third party. be prepared with all the medical data you can muster concerning his condition and the dangers involved. courts usually want children to have contact with both parents. try to have a provision that states something to the effect of if the child doesn't want to go or shows signs of stress the visits will stop. maybe get a child psychologist involved. good luck

 

[ellencee]

Mrs. Lee
For a clear understanding of your desire to stop this child from seeing her father, please tell me where I am misunderstanding this: through no fault of his own, your husband suffered a serious, life-altering, physical injury, for which you are divorcing him, and wish to take his child away from him and the child away from her father, without allowing for any measure of satisfactory arrangements to keep their relationship at its fullest level of mutual love and family bond?

 

[A.J.HASEK]

You see all kinds here.

 

[Mrs. Lee]

Mrs. Lee
For a clear understanding of your desire to stop this child from seeing her father, please tell me where I am misunderstanding this: through no fault of his own, your husband suffered a serious, life-altering, physical injury, for which you are divorcing him, and wish to take his child away from him and the child away from her father, without allowing for any measure of satisfactory arrangements to keep their relationship at its fullest level of mutual love and family bond?

Ellencee, let's see if I can explain this to you. First, of all he does not even realize that this is his child, they have no bond. I was pregnant with her when we had the accident. Secondly, he abuses the child by bitting her until blood is drawn, putting his hands around her neck and choking her as he beats her. Now this is a 22 month old baby he does this too. It's not that I am taking her away from him, I feel she is definitely at risk. My child's life means more to me than his visitation. When he does not know that she is his child or even care to visit with her.

Mrs. Lee

 

[CMSC]

come on people, you don't think this woman is a little traumatized herself? The man she loved and cared for is no longer that same man...how many of us are divorced because the person we married isn't the same person now? How many of them are abusive? Maybe there is something wrong with them that makes them that way, would you still be married to them if you knew they had a chemical embalance that caused them to abuse or would you leave? I worked with the mentally disabled for years so I have a real problem with the way you people are treating Mrs.Lee, she is in a no win situation. Mrs.Lee I suggest that you go ahead with the divorce BUT stipulate that you shall supervise him along with the conservator during visitation, you could even contact people in your area who deal with brain injuries and maybe through time they can "retrain" your husband to think about how to take care of a child. I understand your concern completely and I will do some research to see what I can find about this.
You also need to understand the even though "he is doing this to a 22month old" he doesn't know any better. It is like training a 2 year old not to bite, that part of his brain is no longer there to function.

 

[ellencee]

Mrs. Lee
You cleared up the misunderstanding that I had, and posted much information that is clearly of great importance in your situation. Having included that information, you will receive more appropriate responses from attorneys and others than you would have without having included those aspects.
As one child to another, and one mother to another, all I ask is that when you take whatever actions are in your best interest and those of the child, that you provide some measure for this child to see her father during her life, so that a void (that can never be filled) does not develop in her life. She has lost the father that was anticipated for her life, but he is still her father, and she will always harbor a need to see and experience him (safely, of course), whether or not she tells this to you. Please allow her those normal emotions and desires.
Good luck and best wishes.

 

[CMSC]

Mrs. Lee
You cleared up the misunderstanding that I had, and posted much information that is clearly of great importance in your situation. Having included that information, you will receive more appropriate responses from attorneys and others than you would have without having included those aspects.

This is just my personal opinion on the matter and in no way am I trying to offen you ellencee but the poster said that her soon to be ex was missing the left side of his brain, I think that was plenty of information! Any attorney in their right mind would think that this man is not considered compitant to care for a child or visit with one without being supervised, she did not need to torture herself by replaying the facts of how he acts towards her child.

Like I said it is my opinion and in no way am I attacking you, I just thought that you were a little insensitve in your first response because you felt you didn't have enough "details".

 

[ellencee]

ryry's mom
removing the left side of someone's brain does not guarantee they are a menace to themselves or anyone else. Besides, from reading this board, it seems alot of people have that tendency, if only during the anonymous posting on this board. As for your comments: you can not offend me, as your comments have no personal meaning for me, no matter what you say; and as for not meaning to attack me, I believe a correct response befitting your comment would be, "b___s____".

 

[CMSC]

well, excuse me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[ellencee]

ryry's mom
consider it done, and with no hard feelings. you know 'me' well enough to know my response was done with a bit of dry humor.

 

[CMSC]

Ellencee, no hard feelings...there Grace Alder does that make you feel better, i openly admit that I am not mad at ellencee
Never mind no one else is going to get it but me and Grace!

 

[Grace_Adler]

LOL..ryry's mom..u know I was only teasing u don't u? But yes..I'm glad things are all better now, I was all sad...