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Child wants to live with non-custodial parent

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stephaniefitz

Junior Member
Re-read your first post. There's no law, and no FA advisor that could FIX your relationship with your son's Dad so that he will just hand over custody.

How were WE supposed to fix THAT? :confused:
well...your right...YOU can not fix it...was looking for advice from someone who has been in this situation...have you been in this situation? would you be able to help me with an idea of what we can do as parents to split up the time more? maybe just a school year here with me and then back to dad?
 


Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
well...your right...YOU can not fix it...was looking for advice from someone who has been in this situation...have you been in this situation? would you be able to help me with an idea of what we can do as parents to split up the time more? maybe just a school year here with me and then back to dad?
Sorry - yours is not a legal question. Perhaps you should seek out a single or divorced parent support forum...
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
well...your right...YOU can not fix it...was looking for advice from someone who has been in this situation...have you been in this situation? would you be able to help me with an idea of what we can do as parents to split up the time more? maybe just a school year here with me and then back to dad?
You're talking about a custody change. It's a legal issue -- if Dad objects to any of your ideas, you may try to petition for a change in custody. That ain't free. It's also not easy. And, of large import to you, a child's preference is of little to no value in the process in most states -- and I am in no mood to find out about your state.

So you either need a support board, or to hire an attorney.

http://courts.michigan.gov/scao/selfhelp/family/custody_help.htm
 

stephaniefitz

Junior Member
Sorry - yours is not a legal question. Perhaps you should seek out a single or divorced parent support forum...
ok...legal question...to modify the custody order...i will need to go back to court and start over, right? would we be able to have mediation before the hearing..I was hoping to bring something to dad before making the actual motion...thank you for your help..you inspired me to contact my divorce attorney..it was a great idea..thanks again.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
It can't hurt to try to TALK to dad first. Not everything has to be adversarial.
 

stephaniefitz

Junior Member
I'd say you need to have Dad involved -- he's the custodial parent.

My point is that children don't choose. You can mount a custody battle, if you wish.
Change of custody...thanks, that is what she just told me. Since she already has my file, she has agreed..thanks again..by the way, in the State of Michigan..the age is 12 that a Judge will actually sit down and take in consideration that they want to live with the other parent. Especially if the custodial parent, right now, is not actually providing for the child. There are a few other factors that I left out for a reason. The law is about to be very involved with the dad. Luckily they both live with my ex-mother in law in her home. son will not be there to see it all go down..thankfully.
 

stephaniefitz

Junior Member
Do people actually sit here waiting for questions that can turn into an arguement? or an opportunity to treat people poorly? or give them attitude? I was just reading the post of others to and it usually ends up with someone going off on them. Crazy..but actually I did get some good advice and the attitude...well, I am sure that I will be seeing alot of it very soon anyways..it just gets me ready for it I guess.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
... in the State of Michigan..the age is 12 that a Judge will actually sit down and take in consideration that they want to live with the other parent.
Nobody said otherwise. At. All.

Especially if the custodial parent, right now, is not actually providing for the child. There are a few other factors that I left out for a reason. The law is about to be very involved with the dad. Luckily they both live with my ex-mother in law in her home. son will not be there to see it all go down..thankfully.
Oh, I gotcha. You wish to take an attitude about the advice you receive when you didn't bother being forthcoming with the specifics of the situation.

Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!


(I will only use that phrase once - ever - just so I can say I did!) :cool:
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
Change of custody...thanks, that is what she just told me. Since she already has my file, she has agreed..thanks again..by the way, in the State of Michigan..the age is 12 that a Judge will actually sit down and take in consideration that they want to live with the other parent. Especially if the custodial parent, right now, is not actually providing for the child. There are a few other factors that I left out for a reason. The law is about to be very involved with the dad. Luckily they both live with my ex-mother in law in her home. son will not be there to see it all go down..thankfully.
I can guarantee that NOTHING you have written justifies a change of custody. My orders are from Michigan and daddy always threatens. I have done my research:

http://www.webanswers.com/legal/children-and-the-law/in-the-state-of-michigan-how-old-does-a-child-have-to-be-before-they-can-pick-which-parent-they-want-026a1e

It gives a good explanation, including the case law as to WHY a child's preference is NOT the needed COC.

Here is the case:

http://www.traversecityfamilylaw.com/Documents/Schemanski_v_Skank.pdf
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
Change of custody...thanks, that is what she just told me. Since she already has my file, she has agreed..thanks again..by the way, in the State of Michigan..the age is 12 that a Judge will actually sit down and take in consideration that they want to live with the other parent. Especially if the custodial parent, right now, is not actually providing for the child. There are a few other factors that I left out for a reason. The law is about to be very involved with the dad. Luckily they both live with my ex-mother in law in her home. son will not be there to see it all go down..thankfully.
Doesn't matter that it's the grandma who is forking over the money. No different than a SAHM. The child is PROVIDED for. Period.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
OP - just what change of circumstance is there to warrant filing for a change in custody? Your son wanting to live with you isn't one.
 

stephaniefitz

Junior Member
I can guarantee that NOTHING you have written justifies a change of custody. My orders are from Michigan and daddy always threatens. I have done my research:

In the state of Michigan, how old does a child have to be before they can pick which parent they want to live with? - WebAnswers.com

It gives a good explanation, including the case law as to WHY a child's preference is NOT the needed COC.

Here is the case:

http://www.traversecityfamilylaw.com/Documents/Schemanski_v_Skank.pdf
thanks for the info...i actually got some really great advise about temp custody order while dad is in jail...thanks for your input though
 

stephaniefitz

Junior Member
Nobody said otherwise. At. All.


Oh, I gotcha. You wish to take an attitude about the advice you receive when you didn't bother being forthcoming with the specifics of the situation.

Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!


(I will only use that phrase once - ever - just so I can say I did!) :cool:
funny how everyone was so upset and mean...i wasn't sure that would be the case..dad going to jail will change things but i was trying to help one way or the other...we both love our son..guess i should have just kept this to myself..
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Unless Dad has already been convicted and sentenced, you don't really know whether he's going to jail or not.
 
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