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Children being check for molestation every month

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candi4687

Member
You all can think I am crazy for posting so many times or post what you wish. Some of you think I am just out to keep our children from their dad but thats just because you don't TRUELY know. HOPEULLY this will be my FINAL post/question....

Does my ex have the right to have both of our children evaluated and check for molestation every month? They keep insinuating that I have moved to hide something as do some here. I can honestly say that this right here is part of the reason I moved. I am tired of them interogating our children and who in the hell would have a doctor inspect a childs genitals each month just to have the OP feel better???? Our children have BOTH been to a doctor before and had to have this done because of rumors these people have started. I still have the documentation that NEITHER child has EVER been molested. Basically I am NOT trying to hide ANYTHING. I just think this is cruel to have the children put through this mess!!

Any comments/advice is appreciated
 


Ron1347

Member
I'm only 'guessing' here, as I don't know 'legal' from 'schmegal' but...I'm thinking that the other parent has any and every right to do what they are doing, and that you likely have no recourse for preventing, or even slowing, it down. I'm curious to hear a 'legal' interpretation on that myself.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
When you move just over the border without notice, then when you get caught claim you moved to have better opportunities for work, but the truth is you moved to be with your boyfriend and you aren't working, it raises questions.
 

candi4687

Member
You or anyone here can question my reasons all you want. I know why I moved and it was also for better job opportunities. I now have a part time job so that I can stay home with our son. He goes to Pre-K and only goes to school 3 hours a day for now so if I am allowed the chance to spend time with our children while they are young I am going to do it. Besides have you ever priced for daycare? Look I am just bothered knowing that he can actually have it where someone gets to poke around on our children once a month. I have been through that before and even though I was young I knew exactly what was going on and it was just very uncomfortable. Him and his mother have come up with this idea even though while I was living there they had accused it and so I took the children to the doctor and our daughter even had to attend counseling because she stated nothing happened but they said that some children were in denial. I tried to explain to them that she is shy and of course a child is going to hold back some when a man she has never met sits there asking her about her private parts. I took her there every week for 4 weeks (As scheduled). I just don't want our kids put through this. hate me if ya want....
 

NMJustice

Junior Member
I dont know you so I cant hate you sorry :p and I dont knowthe full story so I cant say, but I can say this....I think that it is very harmful for a child to have to go through a genital examination every week, that is just craziness! If you want my opinion what your ex is doing to them by making them do that is causing them more harm. Maybe you both can put your guns down for the sake of your children...who cares if you hate each other, its not about you or him its about those children who cant quite understand why their parents want to kill each other. I hate my EX with a passion...I mean I loathe him...but hes my sons father and my son loves him no matter what he has done to me. I couldnt imagine trying to make my son hate someone that is so important in his life....my son has the right to love both of us because he is a part of both of us. I hope that helps...but really for the sake of the kids wave the white flag and realize that dad isnt going anywhere and you cant kill him so let your children love both of you. :eek:
 

candi4687

Member
He is trying to have this done every month to them not weekly, not that it makes it any better. As far as hating my ex, you are completely right I look at him and it makes me nausious LITTERALLY! That's just the thing of it though. Even though he has put me through hell and the way he has treated our kids, they still love him very much as they should. I have NEVER tried to change that because it is important to our kids. I have TRIED AND TRIED to get along with him to no avail.

Put it this way, just something as simple as us exchanging the kids for visitation is almost impossible. He starts something everytime he sees me. Heck one time I was sick so my Fiance had to drive me there to meet him to pick up the kids. We actually went through the exchange ok with no mean words. Sure enough he was nice at first because we were in the Sheriff's Dept.. After we left he cut us off, pulling in front of us, with the kids in our car and got out screaming and yelling at my fiance to get out and fight him like a man. I told him to stop because of the kids but he just kept on saying that my fiance was a pu.sy. We then had to go around him just to get out of there. ITS JUST CRAZY NO MATTER WHAT.

TRUST ME I WISH I COULD SNAP MY FINGERS AND MAKE IT ALL BETTER BUT I HAVE TRIED AND THAT DON'T WORK.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
candi4687 said:
Am I the only one who seems to think this is just pushing things TOO far??
Hon, the guy is a jerk....he is a very difficult person to deal with and he is always going to be a difficult person to deal with.

I reviewed your other threads...this is a person who gets through life by playing games with the system, with taxes, with people, with children, with child support etc.

Nothing is going to change him. You are just going to have to accept that.

You need to follow the court orders to a "T". Demonstrate that you are being a reasonable parent who is doing their best to follow the rules. Eventually its going to become clear to the judge that dad is NOT.

Yes, what he is doing to them right now with the exams is "sick" as far as I am concerned. However you can't stop him.....all you can do is make sure that you live your life as calmly and safely as possible.
 

brisgirl825

Senior Member
candi4687 said:
Am I the only one who seems to think this is just pushing things TOO far??
I agree that this has gone too far. It sounds like he is fishing for something to nail you on and unfortunately it's putting the children in an uncomfortable position.
I do think that it's right to have things checked when there are suspicions otherwise the kids are just being humiliated. And I would worry about the kids wondering why this is being done and somehow creating false memories of molestation. Our minds can be easily fooled and this constant dragging the kids to the dr could possibly put it in their mind that maybe something did happen.
I don't think that there's anything that you can do b/c he has every right to take them to the dr whenever and for whatever he wants. However, it is your responsibility to make sure that there is nothing going on at your home. You never know about a person's past. Do a background check on your boyfriend/husband and be vigilant. I wouldn't even let anything innocent happen. No changing diapers, putting on rash cream, giving baths, etc. by your significant other.

Number one reason for false molestation accusations is...Divorce.

Sarah
 

candi4687

Member
Oh did I fail to mention that he expects ME to take them to the doctor and have this done. He claims that he is going to schedule this through the doctor that I provide for the children here. He claims that IF I fail to take them and have this done the state will come take our children away from me.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
candi4687 said:
Oh did I fail to mention that he expects ME to take them to the doctor and have this done. He claims that he is going to schedule this through the doctor that I provide for the children here. He claims that IF I fail to take them and have this done the state will come take our children away from me.
Ok...now that IS ridiculous! Tell him to pound sand. The state certainly WILL NOT come and take your children away because a ridiculous father makes those kinds of demands and you don't comply. He may call CPS, and they may investigate...but they will investigate, find out nothing is wrong, and rule his accusations as unfounded.

The guy is short a few screws....Make and appointment with your family doctor and explain what is going on.
 

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