Children Live Out Of State

[Wendy413]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee

My husband has two young children and has been divorced from their mother for a few years. Last year, their mother gave written notice sixty days prior to moving the children to Pennsylvania. In the divorce decree and parenting plan, she followed the rules perfectly. She and my husband have agreed to modify the visitation schedule. It was written up, signed and notorized by both parties. I called our local court system where the divorce documents are filed yesterday. I explained our situation and asked what needed to be done to make the changes part of the parenting plan. The lady informed me that unless the children's mother requested the judge's permission, she could not have moved the children out of the state. She obviously is in violation of some law and had no idea. Since she did not do that prior to moving last year, they will not accept any modifications to the visitation schedule. Neither party has a way to pay for an attorney and we don't really know what move to make next. Any advice?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee

My husband has two young children and has been divorced from their mother for a few years. Last year, their mother gave written notice sixty days prior to moving the children to Pennsylvania. In the divorce decree and parenting plan, she followed the rules perfectly. She and my husband have agreed to modify the visitation schedule. It was written up, signed and notorized by both parties. I called our local court system where the divorce documents are filed yesterday. I explained our situation and asked what needed to be done to make the changes part of the parenting plan. The lady informed me that unless the children's mother requested the judge's permission, she could not have moved the children out of the state. She obviously is in violation of some law and had no idea. Since she did not do that prior to moving last year, they will not accept any modifications to the visitation schedule. Neither party has a way to pay for an attorney and we don't really know what move to make next. Any advice?

Oooooh yep.

Edit your post.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee

My husband has two young children and has been divorced from their mother for a few years. Last year, their mother gave written notice sixty days prior to moving the children to Pennsylvania. In the divorce decree and parenting plan, she followed the rules perfectly. She and my husband have agreed to modify the visitation schedule. It was written up, signed and notorized by both parties. I called our local court system where the divorce documents are filed yesterday. I explained our situation and asked what needed to be done to make the changes part of the parenting plan. The lady informed me that unless the children's mother requested the judge's permission, she could not have moved the children out of the state. She obviously is in violation of some law and had no idea. Since she did not do that prior to moving last year, they will not accept any modifications to the visitation schedule. Neither party has a way to pay for an attorney and we don't really know what move to make next. Any advice?

Mom and dad both need to file an agreed entry stating that they both are in agreement with the changes.

 

[Wendy413]

Well, we have that information. I am afraid that since she did not file for permission to move she would get in some sort of trouble. Is there anything they can do to the mother if neither side has a problem with her moving?

 

[Wendy413]

Oooooh yep.

Edit your post.

Sorry, Dogmatique, I do not understand what you are requesting.

 

[Ohiogal]

Well, we have that information. I am afraid that since she did not file for permission to move she would get in some sort of trouble. Is there anything they can do to the mother if neither side has a problem with her moving?

Usually no. Unless she is parole/probation there should nto be an issue unless dad is flipping about it. Dad is the one with standing to gripe moan and complain.

 

[Wendy413]

Well, as long as everyone is okay with both parties, we're going to go ahead and file for the changes to be made. After the paperwork from both parties is filed, do the changes automatically go into effect? Do the parents have to go before a judge or anything?

 

[Proserpina]

Sorry, Dogmatique, I do not understand what you are requesting.

It can come across as being over-involved if you, not being a legal party to the situation, are calling the court-house about your husband's children/their mother/the situation. The use of "we" can become confusing and sometimes legally troublesome.

Next bit is to OG really - if Mom and Dad are ok with things, has Mom actually done anything wrong? Wouldn't they be able to just file with the court?

 

[Wendy413]

Both parties have asked for my help and that's all I was trying to do. I want to be as informed as possible. I'm only as involved as they want me to be. I know this is an unusual situation because most of the time you only see one side of a situation. I explained who I was and the problem. Excuse me for using the wrong word.

Neither parent has done wrong according to the parenting plan. The woman I spoke with stated that the mother was not allowed to move the children out of state without it going before the judge. We had no idea this would be a problem. I wanted to know if anyone else had encountered a problem like this before.

 

[sipa]

It can come across as being over-involved if you, not being a legal party to the situation, are calling the court-house about your husband's children/their mother/the situation. The use of "we" can become confusing and sometimes legally troublesome.

Next bit is to OG really - if Mom and Dad are ok with things, has Mom actually done anything wrong? Wouldn't they be able to just file with the court?

Sounded to me from the original first post that step mom is involved and welcomed to be. We really need to stop overstepping steps that are just asking questions but do not come off with the we we we stuff

 

[Proserpina]

Sounded to me from the original first post that step mom is involved and welcomed to be. We really need to stop overstepping steps that are just asking questions but do not come off with the we we we stuff

Noted, and just loved the use of "stop overstepping steps". I can't even that once fast, let alone five times!

 

[haiku]

Sounded to me from the original first post that step mom is involved and welcomed to be. We really need to stop overstepping steps that are just asking questions but do not come off with the we we we stuff

Yes. Honestly lately, I wade through more insults than good legal advice.

There are always going to be crazy people, but just because a step parent posts here does not make them an overstepping parent who needs to be reminded. After almost 10 years hanging out here-wow I am old! I can tell the difference between a normal person and a control freak, usually.

It gets tiresome and kind of sad. Because you can still give a step parent good legal advice, for THEIR FAMILY, without making them think they have THE POWER! If they even thought they had any in the first place.

End of my derailment. Carry on

 

[Ohiogal]

Both parties have asked for my help and that's all I was trying to do. I want to be as informed as possible. I'm only as involved as they want me to be. I know this is an unusual situation because most of the time you only see one side of a situation. I explained who I was and the problem. Excuse me for using the wrong word.

Neither parent has done wrong according to the parenting plan. The woman I spoke with stated that the mother was not allowed to move the children out of state without it going before the judge. We had no idea this would be a problem. I wanted to know if anyone else had encountered a problem like this before.

Here is the thing -- you are a woman calling saying mom moved. The court probably assumed you were mom wanting to file a plan after the move. But if dad and mom agreed to the move and agree to the parenting plan then they submit it as an agreed entry and ask the court to sign off on it, making it an order as both parties have AGREED to follow said plan. Said plan can be followed before signing if both parties agree with it. Dad is the one with standing to raise a ruckus that mom moved.

 

[LdiJ]

Both parties have asked for my help and that's all I was trying to do. I want to be as informed as possible. I'm only as involved as they want me to be. I know this is an unusual situation because most of the time you only see one side of a situation. I explained who I was and the problem. Excuse me for using the wrong word.

Neither parent has done wrong according to the parenting plan. The woman I spoke with stated that the mother was not allowed to move the children out of state without it going before the judge. We had no idea this would be a problem. I wanted to know if anyone else had encountered a problem like this before.

This is completely untrue. A state does not have the authority (unless the children are wards of the state or the moving parent is on parole/probation) to determine where children will live unless one of the parents is in disagreement with the move. A parent needs the permission of the other parent OR the judge. The permission of both is NOT required.

Therefore the woman you spoke to didn't know what she was talking about, or assumed that your husband was in disagreement with the move. No, the mother will not get into any trouble if she and dad are now filing a stipulated agreement to modify the parenting plan.

Just go ahead and file the paperwork.

 

[Wendy413]

Thank you so much for your advice. I've informed both parties that they can file the paperwork. For those of you who gave me advice, thank you very much.

As far as the stepparent thing goes, I do consider my stepchildren family and want them to live happy lives. I try to do anything I can to make life easier on them and everyone involved in this situation. I completely understand that some stepparents do not have their child's best interest at heart. Please do not judge every stepparent that asks for advice here. We aren't all bad. Dogmatique, people who behave as you have in this situation make good people afraid to ask for advice here. My husband, the children's mother, and I have been through quite a hard time. Believe it or not, we fought hard to work with each other like we have. We understand that what we have is very rare.