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  1. #1
    Aggiedad is offline Junior Member
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    Children living with grandmother

    What is the name of your state? Colorado

    My wife is the custodial parent, she moved from Colorado to Kentucky to live with her mother so that she could pay off some debts.

    This worked for a few months and now she and her mother are fighting and she is getting an apartment but she's leaving the children with her mother and says she will visit them.

    I think that if she can't afford them or doesn't want them living with her that I should have them. I am their father and I don't think it is right for her to do that. I would take them in a second. They used to live with me full time and she got them whenever she asked for them while I paid her child support, I didn't care because I had the kids and that's all that mattered. It wasn't until she wanted to move because the creditors were hounding her and garnishing her wages that she filed for custody and it has been a travesty of justice since.

    I pay her 1100 dollars a month and I've never been late. I thought the whole idea was that it was to support my children.

    I do have a lawyer but I'd rather get a little advice before I spend anymore money, as of now I'm just living paycheck to paycheck because I had them all summer and with the custody battle that I'm still paying for, child support and the daycare expense I'm wiped out. I'm not complaining, I'd spend my last dollar on them. I have been working a lot of overtime since they left and working nights at a second job so I'm about to get in a better financial position.

    I'm also tired of getting messed around by the courts and don't want to file anything that isn't pretty close to a sure thing.

    I just think that if their mother isn't physically living with them that they should live with me.

    So the real question is: Do I have a valid point?

    And the problem is: How do I document it?

    Could/should I take the time to go there and make sure this is happening? If it is happening, how long would she have to leave them with her mother before it would matter to the courts? A week, a month, or what if she does visit a couple of times a week or what if they visit her? Or would this even matter with the courts.



    What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?
  2. #2
    Shay-Pari'e is offline Senior Member
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    You have a very valid point. Did you mean to say *X-Wife*? File a motion for a change in custody. The children not living with her is a big change in circumstances.

    (I hope you can prove this).
  3. #3
    Shay-Pari'e is offline Senior Member
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    PS. Yes, you should get your ducks in a row . Hire a PI in that area to establish your proof, because Mommy and Granny can lie if they want.
  4. #4
    Aggiedad is offline Junior Member
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    Yes, I did mean EX wife.

    Thank you for your reply.

    Do you have any idea how long she would have to live away from them for it to matter?

    She is smart and she lies constantly, and lies well, everyone believes her lies, the court sure did.

    In 4 months she has been on two 2 week "vacations" with her friends leaving them with her mother but my lawyer didn't think that mattered even though she really is broke and from what I can see, spending all the child support on anything but the kids. It is one of the reasons she and her mother are on the outs.

    But you are right, grandma wants my daughter but she doesn't especially want my son, she wouldn't even let him visit before. Grandma's ex husband just assumed that grandma wanted the my daughter and that is why she paid all the legal fees for my ex.

    I have to go back to work but I'll be back on later this evening.

    Thank you again
  5. #5
    Aggiedad is offline Junior Member
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    About the private detective. During our custody battle I found out from other people that she had spent 3 days in jail and that she was using drugs. I asked my attorney if I should hire a private detective and he recommended it and gave me the name and number of a PI. The PI was less than discreet and my ex figured it out and brought it up in court. The judge was furious and verbally told me that I couldn't do that. I expected my lawyer to step up tell him that he had recommended it but he never did.

    I know this is a whole different ballgame but I don't want to mess up. That is why I would like some time guidelines. I have an aunt and 2 adult cousins who live a couple hundred miles from her and I could probably get them to check a few times. I could beg my mother to go there and stay for a week or 2 and then I could go for maybe a week, I can try to get some info from my kids w/o asking outright because I don't want to involve them in it.

    If she changes her address she is supposed to let me know but if she thinks that I won't know she may not bother to tell me.
  6. #6
    Aggiedad is offline Junior Member
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    An odd thing happened today. My daughter called from her grandma's house. It is an unlisted number and no one has ever told me the number. It wasn't anything important, she just called to say hello but I'm wondering if anyone was there to give her permission but I didn't ask, I try to protect them from any of this crap.

    I looked up the number and it said it was unlisted so I'm pretty sure that it is her grandma's # and now I have it. I don't know why but I feel better knowing it. I have had to call them on their mother's cell phone in the past and she rarely answers it even though I'm supposed to get a phone call every day.
  7. #7
    casa is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aggiedad View Post
    What is the name of your state? Colorado

    My wife is the custodial parent, she moved from Colorado to Kentucky to live with her mother so that she could pay off some debts.

    This worked for a few months and now she and her mother are fighting and she is getting an apartment but she's leaving the children with her mother and says she will visit them.

    I think that if she can't afford them or doesn't want them living with her that I should have them. I am their father and I don't think it is right for her to do that. I would take them in a second. They used to live with me full time and she got them whenever she asked for them while I paid her child support, I didn't care because I had the kids and that's all that mattered. It wasn't until she wanted to move because the creditors were hounding her and garnishing her wages that she filed for custody and it has been a travesty of justice since.

    I pay her 1100 dollars a month and I've never been late. I thought the whole idea was that it was to support my children.

    I do have a lawyer but I'd rather get a little advice before I spend anymore money, as of now I'm just living paycheck to paycheck because I had them all summer and with the custody battle that I'm still paying for, child support and the daycare expense I'm wiped out. I'm not complaining, I'd spend my last dollar on them. I have been working a lot of overtime since they left and working nights at a second job so I'm about to get in a better financial position.

    I'm also tired of getting messed around by the courts and don't want to file anything that isn't pretty close to a sure thing.

    I just think that if their mother isn't physically living with them that they should live with me.

    So the real question is: Do I have a valid point?

    And the problem is: How do I document it?

    Could/should I take the time to go there and make sure this is happening? If it is happening, how long would she have to leave them with her mother before it would matter to the courts? A week, a month, or what if she does visit a couple of times a week or what if they visit her? Or would this even matter with the courts.



    What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?
    Get the children's school and Dr. records which show their address (grandmother's), that's a start. Proving mom moved is what the PI can do....your prior experience is because sometimes X's use PIs as a type of harassment, and being followed around is not a safe feeling. Obviously that PI was inept.

    Since you still live in the originating state, did you know you can file in your same state? File for Custody based on the children not living with the other parent any longer.
  8. #8
    Aggiedad is offline Junior Member
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    Thank you, I'll do that. ASAP

    Before I sent them home I got them both an email address because they said grandma let them use the internet but supervises them. I was emailing them every day and they were answering. We just exchanged small talk like "How was your day?" and they'd usually answer with a few words but I had a connection with them. My daughter emailed me a whole paragraph the other day and then abruptly added that she wouldn't be answering anymore, no explanation at all. I don't think she was the one who answered me there were no typos.
  9. #9
    Aggiedad is offline Junior Member
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    Okay, I found a firm online that works in KY and emailed them for information and then I found a firm in the town where the kids live. I will have to call them on Monday and get information because there was no email address.
  10. #10
    casa is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aggiedad View Post
    Okay, I found a firm online that works in KY and emailed them for information and then I found a firm in the town where the kids live. I will have to call them on Monday and get information because there was no email address.
    I genuinely encourage that.

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