Children want to live with non-custodial parent

[funluvnroofn]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?MO
My two teenager daughters want to move in with me permanately.(ages 13 and 15) Their mother, in the past, has said no way.

#1 Does it take more than them asking the courts to live with me at this age?

#2 If they just did so as we filed papers with an attourny to allow this, am I kiddnapping or are they at an age where it more depends on their request?

#3 If they can't just move in now, how long does it take to get an answer from the courts? Do you have to wait and go before a judge with the children?

 

[howamidoing]

Children do not get to decide. A Judge will listen to their opinion, but will ultimately do what is in the best interest of the children. Yes you have to go to court for that. The Mother is the residential parent, they live with her and until you take the matter to court that is the way it is. If they come to live with you without Mom's permission she can call the police to have them brought home and you could face charges of contempt. Remember also that Judges are well aware of the tactics of children wanting to live at the parent's house that is more "fun". Judges know that children can be bought easily and cheap. I doubt a Judge will remove children from a home just because they dont want to live there anymore.

 

[Ambr]

The requirements in MO to modify the custody modification is a change in the custodial parents situation.

After you file, you are are looking at normal 30 days before a hearing date is set. Depending on when you get a hearing -- everybody's schedule have to be clear -- you could be looking at a couple of months tops. Then you get to wait on the judge's ruling.

Personally, in MO, my last modification was filed in August and ruled on in December.

You don't mention how close you live to mom, if it would mean a new school district or not for the kids. But may I suggest that you do it before school starts?

 

[funluvnroofn]

More info for Ambr

As for your "funny" comment at the bottom, thank god it doesnt apply to me.
To answer you question about situation change, yeah it's changing. She's divorcing her husband of now as we speak in St. Peters, MO and going to move back to Springfield, MO. This is where I live as well as her family with her other two kids from him with no job, no ressidence and she did the same thing minus the divorce at the end of last summer. They started school here and two weeks in she decided it was a bad idea and yanked everyone back to St. Peters where my girls were now BEHIND in school because they started earlier. They are an emotional wreck and I cant believe that's not enough to get a judges attention.

Ken

 

[LdiJ]

As for your "funny" comment at the bottom, thank god it doesnt apply to me.
To answer you question about situation change, yeah it's changing. She's divorcing her husband of now as we speak in St. Peters, MO and going to move back to Springfield, MO. This is where I live as well as her family with her other two kids from him with no job, no ressidence and she did the same thing minus the divorce at the end of last summer. They started school here and two weeks in she decided it was a bad idea and yanked everyone back to St. Peters where my girls were now BEHIND in school because they started earlier. They are an emotional wreck and I cant believe that's not enough to get a judges attention.

Ken

It could be enough to get a judge's attention...however that would probably mean having a GAL assigned....which could make the case take even longer.
Custody changes DO NOT happen quickly....even if the kids are teenagers and want the change.

 

[Ambr]

She's divorcing her husband of now as we speak in St. Peters, MO and going to move back to Springfield, MO. This is where I live as well as her family with her other two kids from him with no job, no ressidence and she did the same thing minus the divorce at the end of last summer. They started school here and two weeks in she decided it was a bad idea and yanked everyone back to St. Peters where my girls were now BEHIND in school because they started earlier. They are an emotional wreck and I cant believe that's not enough to get a judges attention.

Ken

Divorce and relocation -- change of circumstance in Custodial case.

Pulling the kids back and forth
Kids behind in school
Emotional duress for kids

Those would be good points. BUT, you will need the experts to back all of that up.

To be able to say that moving the kids from repeatedly over the past two years is not stable. (Did I understand correctly, in the past two years that have moved from St. Peters to Springfield, Back again, and now back?)

Pulling them in and out of different school districts is not stable. Hurts their educational needs and social development.

Emotional Stress.....harder to prove.

Guarantee that when you go to court in MO, and anything is being argued over the kids will have a GAL.

 

[funluvnroofn]

Gal?

Pardon my ignorance but what is a GAL?
And yes you were correct about the amount of moves. There are many emotional issues and stresses on the kids these are just the current ones.

Thank you
Ken

 

[casa]

Pardon my ignorance but what is a GAL?
And yes you were correct about the amount of moves. There are many emotional issues and stresses on the kids these are just the current ones.

Thank you
Ken

Guardian Ad Litem. Someone to represent the best interest of the children...typically they interview both parents (sometimes do home visits as well etc.) talk to teachers, Dr.s and get an idea of which home is more stable and nurturing for the children emotionally, academically etc.

Look up Guardian Ad Litem guidelines for MO online and read up on them.

 

[Ambr]

My experience with GAL in MO......

Unless the guideline has been changed (this was 4 years ago) - not just any lawyer can be a GAL. They have to have a certification to be one. It requires them to do classes (kind of like continuing educational courses for accountants, or Emergency Medical Techs) to maintain their certification.

I know that all judges are different, but the judge asked for recommendations from both of our attorneys ( we didn't have anyone specific in mind) and when the court appointed one, we were asked if we objected. So you will have a some-what voice on it.

I would suggest checking out the GALs that are used on a regular basis in the specific county that you are using. I know that there are only 2 lawyers basically used in our county. That will give you an idea of who you will be dealing with and what their general thoughts and opinions are.

BE SURE that you make them do their full jobs. Not just interview the kids, then ex, then you. Make sure that they see the kids with BOTH parents. That way they see first hand who the kids interact with both.

BE SURE that the kids know they need to voice their own opinions, don't give them anything that sounds rehearsed. BUT they need to stand firm to what they say. For example, they get asked......is it really that bad with (CP)? and they are somewhat wishy washy on an answer. Or if they can say, well it would be okay either place. ANYTHING that can be taken as unfirm response. It needs to be - I am unhappy I want to live with (NCP) and stick to their guns.

Just be sure that they check everything out in details. Don't assume that they know everything - make sure they do. Don't "dis" the ex continually either. Explain everything firmly, these are our difference in parenting style and you just feel that the children would be better with you. Don't play to nice to ex either, that always comes back to bite you in the backside.

Oh yeah.....and the parents usually split the cost of GAL. It's normally like a set fee amount, but if it drags out or gets to detailed the amount could get bumped. I know ours did.

 

[djohnson]

Just wanted to say to now get in a big hurry, if she fights it, it could be drawn out for a while. My bil filed last April and it's just been postponed again to July. Even if it's done then, it's been over a year of fights and legal battles.