Child's mother has requested the signing of papers to terminate parental rights

[rjm1981]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Dakota, however I should mention that the mother and child reside in California.

My question and/or story is as follows. Six years ago, I met a girl, we hit it off things were great, got hot and heavy and made some irresponsible decisions. The relationship was short-lived to say the least. She ran off to another state with another man. A few months later I was served with papers in regards to a paternity hearing. My daughters mother was by this point in California, and my child was born. Paternity was established and I started to pay child support. I have had little to no contact with the mother, or my child, nor does she care to have contact with me or to have me in contact with our child. Financial situations and bad feelings on both sides have kept any relationship I may have had with my child from happening. Two days ago I was contacted by the mother via the facebook social network where she had done a search on my name to find me. In her "message" she requested that I agree to sign papers relinquishing my parental rights of my child to her completely. She didn't state why nor did I ask. After some careful thought I decided to oblige. As I've stated I've never seen my child and I don't see the situation ever being reconciled in any way. I believe that this is probably the best thing. I sent her a message back telling her I would sign any such papers. Today she contacted me again and stated that she was informed she could not file the papers unless she was married, or hired a lawyer to fight her case. I'm wondering if this is true, and also wondering if what she suggested initially is even possible as I've seen that many states will not grant termination of rights solely because both parents agree on such a matter.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Dakota, however I should mention that the mother and child reside in California.

My question and/or story is as follows. Six years ago, I met a girl, we hit it off things were great, got hot and heavy and made some irresponsible decisions. The relationship was short-lived to say the least. She ran off to another state with another man. A few months later I was served with papers in regards to a paternity hearing. My daughters mother was by this point in California, and my child was born. Paternity was established and I started to pay child support. I have had little to no contact with the mother, or my child, nor does she care to have contact with me or to have me in contact with our child. Financial situations and bad feelings on both sides have kept any relationship I may have had with my child from happening. Two days ago I was contacted by the mother via the facebook social network where she had done a search on my name to find me. In her "message" she requested that I agree to sign papers relinquishing my parental rights of my child to her completely. She didn't state why nor did I ask. After some careful thought I decided to oblige. As I've stated I've never seen my child and I don't see the situation ever being reconciled in any way. I believe that this is probably the best thing. I sent her a message back telling her I would sign any such papers. Today she contacted me again and stated that she was informed she could not file the papers unless she was married, or hired a lawyer to fight her case. I'm wondering if this is true, and also wondering if what she suggested initially is even possible as I've seen that many states will not grant termination of rights solely because both parents agree on such a matter.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Poor kid...

I am glad that the child has at least ONE party (the State) that is looking out for the CHILD'S rights (namely, to be supported by BOTH parents)

 

[rjm1981]

Allow me to reiterate that I pay my support however my financial means are not great. I can not afford to drive or fly to California on a regular basis. The mother refuses to come this way stating the same financial difficulties. In view of the fact that I am nothing but some extra spending cash to the mother and she has made it very clear that she doesn't want me involved and has also now decided that she doesn't want any financial support from me or insurance benefits from me, (by the way the financial situation also means I can't afford an attorney to fight for my rights unless I want to essentially live on the streets...thanks) I don't see how either of us is a "bad" parent. I believe six years is a little too long to suddenly pop into a child's life and to at best be able to occasionally call and show up for a weeks worth of vacation once a year doesn't really qualify you as a parent anymore than not being there at all. That's the situation I've found myself in. I didn't say I was proud of it, but I don't think it makes me a horrible person. That being said I came on this site looking for advice not accusations and insults and if that's all you have I'd prefer not to see your comments. Thanks

 

[Zigner]

Thanks

You're welcome. One is glad to be of service.

 

[rjm1981]

Is there anyone out there with some real advice or are the insults and accusations all one can look forward to on this forum?

 

[Banned_Princess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California.

Two days ago I was contacted by the mother she requested that I agree to sign papers relinquishing my parental rights of my child to her completely. I decided to oblige.


Today she contacted me again and stated that she was informed she could not file the papers unless she was married, or hired a lawyer to fight her case. I'm wondering if this is true, and also wondering if what she suggested initially is even possible as I've seen that many states will not grant termination of rights solely because both parents agree on such a matter.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Yes thats true.


You cant be released from your obligation to support the child, because you want to. Another man has to want the child, and be responsible for the other half of the child's support.


Poor kid, at least she has one parent who loves and wants to know her.

 

[rjm1981]

you think her mom loves her because she has gone very much out of her way to keep me out of the childs life? I tried. I contacted the child support in california. I sent birthday presents and letters to them for them to forward to the mother because I wasn't given an address to send anything to. I never got a response. I never got anything back. I don't even know what my child looks like. I was young and stupid when the paternity hearing and child support hearing went down and tried to represent myself and wound up with little to no rights in the situation. So this means her mother loves her because she wants me uninvolved no matter how hard I have tried in the past? How long is someone supposed to be constantly ignored before they just decide that it's a lost cause? Tell me? It's not that I have no desire to be a parent. I'm involved with a woman with two children from a previous marriage. I am in their lives every day and am very much a surrogate parent to them. I WAS SHUT OUT. How is that my fault?

As to the other statement, I've also read that in some instances it does happen that rights are terminated. It can happen.

 

[Proserpina]

you think her mom loves her because she has gone very much out of her way to keep me out of the childs life? I tried. I contacted the child support in california. I sent birthday presents and letters to them for them to forward to the mother because I wasn't given an address to send anything to. I never got a response. I never got anything back. I don't even know what my child looks like. I was young and stupid when the paternity hearing and child support hearing went down and tried to represent myself and wound up with little to no rights in the situation. So this means her mother loves her because she wants me uninvolved no matter how hard I have tried in the past? How long is someone supposed to be constantly ignored before they just decide that it's a lost cause? Tell me? It's not that I have no desire to be a parent. I'm involved with a woman with two children from a previous marriage. I am in their lives every day and am very much a surrogate parent to them. I WAS SHUT OUT. How is that my fault?

As to the other statement, I've also read that in some instances it does happen that rights are terminated. It can happen.

You allowed yourself you be shut out - that's exactly the way the courts will view it, whether you want to hear that or not.

No, in California, your rights cannot be terminated voluntarily in the situation you have described.

 

[rjm1981]

You allowed yourself you be shut out - that's exactly the way the courts will view it,

Glad to know that no matter what has happened I'm to blame seeing as I own the penis. I mean that's really what this comes down to doesn't it? The mother is always the one that got screwed and the father is always the ass. I've never seen it go down any differently.

Anyways thanks for giving me an answer to my original question I appreciate it. Now I can be done with this ridiculous forum.

 

[Banned_Princess]

you think her mom loves her because she has gone very much out of her way to keep me out of the child's life? .

No I think you love her less to not go out of your way to enforce your rights to see her.

Yea, I get your a cowardly little dude who wont go out of your way to exercise your constitutional right to have this child know you and have a relationship with you, and now you don't even care if you support her or not.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

you think her mom loves her because she has gone very much out of her way to keep me out of the childs life? I tried. I contacted the child support in california. I sent birthday presents and letters to them for them to forward to the mother because I wasn't given an address to send anything to. I never got a response. I never got anything back. I don't even know what my child looks like. I was young and stupid when the paternity hearing and child support hearing went down and tried to represent myself and wound up with little to no rights in the situation. So this means her mother loves her because she wants me uninvolved no matter how hard I have tried in the past? How long is someone supposed to be constantly ignored before they just decide that it's a lost cause? Tell me? It's not that I have no desire to be a parent. I'm involved with a woman with two children from a previous marriage. I am in their lives every day and am very much a surrogate parent to them. I WAS SHUT OUT. How is that my fault?

As to the other statement, I've also read that in some instances it does happen that rights are terminated. It can happen.[/QUOTE]

Those situations are few and far between, and since the state believes and has enacted into law that TWO parents will be responsible for the financial upbringing of a child, from what you've said, you're SOL.
You have to decide that you will either pay for the remainder of your childs minor life, or you will decide that you want something to do with your child. Your call. In the long run, even if you decide to not have anything to do with your child other than writing a check, your child will want to know who her father is. She has a right to know who you are, she has a right to be supported by both of her parents. You don't just get to unilaterally decide that you don't want to be her dad legally anymore.

 

[Zigner]

Glad to know that no matter what has happened I'm to blame seeing as I own the penis. I mean that's really what this comes down to doesn't it? The mother is always the one that got screwed and the father is always the ass. I've never seen it go down any differently.

Anyways thanks for giving me an answer to my original question I appreciate it. Now I can be done with this ridiculous forum.

Interesting...I'm a dad with sole legal and physical custody of my 3 children. Their mother hasn't seem them in over a decade and is in the hole for over a hundred grand in child support. Yeah, the dad's always the ass...right

 

[Proserpina]

Glad to know that no matter what has happened I'm to blame seeing as I own the penis. I mean that's really what this comes down to doesn't it? The mother is always the one that got screwed and the father is always the ass. I've never seen it go down any differently.

Anyways thanks for giving me an answer to my original question I appreciate it. Now I can be done with this ridiculous forum.

No, it's because you didn't enforce your rights.

You've actually been answered earlier by one father who has full custody of his kids, by the way. Gender has nothing to do with it.

(Though technically you're correct in one aspect - Mom is the one who got screwed...)