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childs right to choose?

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mickeysdad

Guest
What is the name of your state?Virginia My son is 12 yoa and says he wants to come live with me and my wife. My ex refuses. We want my son with us and support him in his decision. We have filed for a court hearing but fear she will intimidate him. She has told him if he leaves her then she will sell his belongings and will move in an apartment. She tends to make him feel guilty about any decision he makes and constantly tells him he does not know what he wants. We finally got him out of the habit of calling himself stupid. Apparently she is using psy. abuse to control his thoughts and feelings. Help please. Advice?
 


BL

Senior Member
When you go to Court ask a " Law guardian " be appointed for the Child.
Also request a Psychological evaluation for the Child be approved. You may have to pay for this, unless insurance will .
 
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mickeysdad

Guest
Thank you for your reply. My husband just left for work and he was encouraged by your reply. We have been at witts end. We had Mickey for visitation but she demanded he return home over a week ago. Since then we have not seen nor spoken to him. She and her family say he is not there when we call. I know they are keeping him from us. He has told his mom that he wants to live with us and she is angry. While he was with us this time we were witness to her verbal abuse towards him and how she works to make him feel guilty. My heart breaks for this child and my husband. I am doing all I can to help them. Your advice is greatly appreciated. Again, thank you.
 

Kevmar44

Member
Childs right to choose

At 12 your son may be old enough to speak to the judge himself and explain why he wants to live with you. My experience with a law guardian was a joke. In his recommendation he admitted to witnessing my ex's violence first hand and STILL recommended we have week to week shared parenting! I would document everything. The fact that they don't let you speak to him is contempt of court (at least in my paperwork it is). I deal with a similar situation and I just keep documenting everything in hopes that one day it will be enough to get full custody. Good Luck :)
 
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PADadandMom

Guest
mickeysdad said:
What is the name of your state?Virginia My son is 12 yoa and says he wants to come live with me and my wife. My ex refuses. We want my son with us and support him in his decision. We have filed for a court hearing but fear she will intimidate him. She has told him if he leaves her then she will sell his belongings and will move in an apartment. She tends to make him feel guilty about any decision he makes and constantly tells him he does not know what he wants. We finally got him out of the habit of calling himself stupid. Apparently she is using psy. abuse to control his thoughts and feelings. Help please. Advice?

Your situation is very similar to mine; except mine is cross country AND my son complains of alcohol abuse. I filed and won custody. She is fighting it from her state still. I have started taking him to a psycho-therapist too where he has begun to voice his feelings, wants, needs and it will eventually prove helpful in court....if need be.

My son too was told he won't get any of his stuff but after 2 years of hearing that, he decided his stuff can be replaced.

My advice, which is stricktly through my recent (1 month ago) experience...file for "physical custody" (which you say you have) and get him to a therapist so his feelings, etc can be documented. The more you have to support his wants and needs the better the chance you will have at gaining physical custody.

I must tell you though, that I was told that if the child just wants to live with me just because, I wouldt have a leg to stand on. The judges will listen to the child but don't base their final decision on just that. If circumstances don't warrant a move then it is unlikely to change.
 

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