mickeysdad said:
What is the name of your state?Virginia My son is 12 yoa and says he wants to come live with me and my wife. My ex refuses. We want my son with us and support him in his decision. We have filed for a court hearing but fear she will intimidate him. She has told him if he leaves her then she will sell his belongings and will move in an apartment. She tends to make him feel guilty about any decision he makes and constantly tells him he does not know what he wants. We finally got him out of the habit of calling himself stupid. Apparently she is using psy. abuse to control his thoughts and feelings. Help please. Advice?
Your situation is very similar to mine; except mine is cross country AND my son complains of alcohol abuse. I filed and won custody. She is fighting it from her state still. I have started taking him to a psycho-therapist too where he has begun to voice his feelings, wants, needs and it will eventually prove helpful in court....if need be.
My son too was told he won't get any of his stuff but after 2 years of hearing that, he decided his stuff can be replaced.
My advice, which is stricktly through my recent (1 month ago) experience...file for "physical custody" (which you say you have) and get him to a therapist so his feelings, etc can be documented. The more you have to support his wants and needs the better the chance you will have at gaining physical custody.
I must tell you though, that I was told that if the child just wants to live with me just because, I wouldt have a leg to stand on. The judges will listen to the child but don't base their final decision on just that. If circumstances don't warrant a move then it is unlikely to change.