Cleared by DSS, now what?

[gammyismyname]

You need to tell the truth then. Because what you stated was:



Well that was NOT true. Because a court was involved if a judge signed an order. You also stated you only had PLACEMENT due to a safety plan. PLACEMENT is not custody. That matter IS under dispute because you apparently are clueless as to the actual facts. If you only have placement then the mother is the child's custodian. If you have custody then a COURT had to have been involved contrary to what you first stated.

Based on your ignorance and inability to comprehend and convey truthfully what has happened, you need an attorney. End of story.

ok, once i went thru your post, removed the unprofessional and rude comments, there are sensible statements in what you said and I can see how my posts were confusing. However, I DID tell the truth. We never went to court, child was placed with us vis parental consent, a safety plan was written and signed into effect by a judge. The child is placed with me, according to the documents that I have that are signed by both parents, the DSS caseworker, the DSS caseworkers supervisor and a judge. We never went to the court room. The consent order states that I have physical custody, and authority to attend to the medical needs of the child. The parents are to have supervised visitation only, and at my discretion.

When all of this was "going down", the caseworker herself told me that since both parents would be willing to consent, there was no need to go to court. The lawyers would go over the consent with the parents, and the judge would sign it into effect. From what I understand, my son lost access to his lawyer once he was cleared from the investigation.

You are arguing semantics. We never went to a court room, but the paperwork was signed by a judge as a consent order. LEGAL custody remains with the mother, yes, however, I have physical custody, and certain legal custodial rights at this point. NO, I am not clueless to the facts, I am unclear on what is going to occur in the next couple weeks and seeking input here.

Yes, I am aware that I need an attorney. I also need the money to pay for one. I have neither. I am doing what I can here, it may not be much, but it's the best that I can do right now.

I have browsed the forum and I do see that you are a valued family law attorney. I hope that you don't resort to name calling to paying clients. While I do admit to not communicating my statements clearly, there was no need to resort to that. A simple "you are not making sense" would have been sufficient.

I hope that my clarification makes enough sense that you can answer my questions:

What options does DSS have? My son and the mother were never married, but paternity has been legally established (birth certificate and affidavit of paternity). However, until my son is able to seek counsel to gain custody (don't even know who we take custody from at this point), where does my grandchild belong? I am hoping that she will remain "placed" with me.

Can DSS just close a case without proper placement/custody? In the event of two unwed parents, when DSS decides that one parent is unable to have custody, arent they supposed to seek custodial arrangements in court? Can they just leave my grandchild placed in my home and in limbo?

 

[Ohiogal]

ok, once i went thru your post, removed the unprofessional and rude comments, there are sensible statements in what you said and I can see how my posts were confusing. However, I DID tell the truth.

Stating that you are clueless is not being unprofessional or rude. It is stating a fact. Also:

Based on your ignorance and inability to comprehend and convey truthfully what has happened, you need an attorney. End of story.

That line is not rude or unprofessional either. YOU are IGNORANT and you have not conveyed what happened truthfully due to your ignorance and inability to comprehend.

We never went to court, child was placed with us vis parental consent, a safety plan was written and signed into effect by a judge. The child is placed with me, according to the documents that I have that are signed by both parents, the DSS caseworker, the DSS caseworkers supervisor and a judge. We never went to the court room. The consent order states that I have physical custody, and authority to attend to the medical needs of the child. The parents are to have supervised visitation only, and at my discretion.

PLACEMENT is NOT custody. They are legally two different things. And if you have physical custody and decision making and mother only has visitation supervised then she doesn't have legal custody.

When all of this was "going down", the caseworker herself told me that since both parents would be willing to consent, there was no need to go to court. The lawyers would go over the consent with the parents, and the judge would sign it into effect. From what I understand, my son lost access to his lawyer once he was cleared from the investigation.

The caseworker should not have been giving you legal advice.

You are arguing semantics. We never went to a court room, but the paperwork was signed by a judge as a consent order. LEGAL custody remains with the mother, yes, however, I have physical custody, and certain legal custodial rights at this point. NO, I am not clueless to the facts, I am unclear on what is going to occur in the next couple weeks and seeking input here.

You are clueless because I AM NOT arguing semantics. There is a big difference LEGALLY between the case being in court and not in court. There is a legal difference between placement and custody. And how does mother have LEGAL custody if the child is with you and she only has supervised visitation? There is a legal difference between legal custody and physical custody. Unless you comprehend that this is NOT semantics and can convey completely and truthfully the facts, you are ignorant and clueless. That is a fact.

Yes, I am aware that I need an attorney. I also need the money to pay for one. I have neither. I am doing what I can here, it may not be much, but it's the best that I can do right now.

Then you will continue being lost because no one here can help you when you cannot comprehend the legal facts and convey them in totality.

I have browsed the forum and I do see that you are a valued family law attorney. I hope that you don't resort to name calling to paying clients. While I do admit to not communicating my statements clearly, there was no need to resort to that. A simple "you are not making sense" would have been sufficient.

There was no name calling. And yes I do tell my clients when they are being ignorant (which means without knowledge -- look it up) and clueless. I also call them out when I believe they are lying.

I hope that my clarification makes enough sense that you can answer my questions:

What options does DSS have? My son and the mother were never married, but paternity has been legally established (birth certificate and affidavit of paternity). However, until my son is able to seek counsel to gain custody (don't even know who we take custody from at this point), where does my grandchild belong? I am hoping that she will remain "placed" with me.

AGAIN, no one can help you. NO ONE here can help you because you are unsure of the actual status. You say you have custody. But only physical custody with decision making. But then you say you have placement. You don't know if you have placement, emergency custody, temporary custody or legal custody. And I don't think you have the knowledge to convey what you have so no one can give you advice with any certainty.

Can DSS just close a case without proper placement/custody? In the event of two unwed parents, when DSS decides that one parent is unable to have custody, arent they supposed to seek custodial arrangements in court? Can they just leave my grandchild placed in my home and in limbo?

You said there is a court order granting you custody. So therefore custodial arrangements per you were sought in court and DSS did not decide that the parents were unable to have custody but that they -- the parents -- did when they agreed and that COURT ratified it. Again, your ignorance is an issue. And that is a fact -- if you think it is insulting then you don't know what "ignorance" means. You need to be able to clearly convey what has happened and exactly what you have. OR you need to go pay an attorney to figure it out and educate you.

 

[Silverplum]

Despite starting more than one thread on the same subject, being told her place and precisely why BabyBoy ought to learn about his own legal rights, OP is still slinging insults and asking MORE questions.

 

[gammyismyname]

Excuse me, but OP has NOT slung any insults. And yes, I was asking questions**************..that's what this site is for. But doncha worry bout it one lil bit, because I am done here.

This site is insane. A person comes on here and calls me names, and when I make a feeble attempt to defend myself, I am the bad guy. NO WHERE in the rules does it say that I am required to bend over and take it from some internet keyboard warrior with a pissy attitude. Yes, I am aware that this is a free site and you are all volunteers. That is a good thing because if a paid lawyer were to speak to me in that same disrespectful condescending attitude, I would let her take her powertrip and her over inflated ego and stuff it (use your imagination as to where she could stuff it), as me and my money walked right out the door.

I have stated what my documentation says. I am not lying, I am not misunderstanding, I am stating what the documentation states. "(the parents) consent to temporary physical custody with (me). (Me) will have decision making in the matters pertaining to: medical care. (The parents) retain legal custody. (Child) is to be placed in the home of (ME) until resolution of the pending DSS action". We did not go to court. BOTH parents signed it, I signed it, the DSS lawyer signed it, and it was filed at the courthouse, signed by a Judge and returned to use. Perhaps Ohiogal is not familiar or ignorant with the documentation in NC. Perhaps she was the one with comprehension difficulties, possibly exacerbated by having her ass on her shoulders. Either way, her misunderstanding of the situation does not change what the paperwork says.

I have ridiculed because I need to step out of the legal situation and just provide research , ironically that is what I am doing and why I am here. Gam, I am not referring to you. Your post was both kind and helpful, thank you.

I have been ridiculed because I need to get my son's balls out of my purse strings. Funny thing, as I have previously stated, I have no money to give him. So, a reasonable conclusion would be that he is not sticking his hand out expect money that does not exist.

The advice I have received here amounts to: You need to start doing what you are already doing, and stop doing what you are not doing.

A reasonable response could have gone something like "Either you are not expressing yourself clearly, or we just don't understand your situation, so therefore, we cannot help you".

It really doesnt matter. I am done with this site. I am sure that someone will come along and "spread the joy" with more bullcrap. Gotta get that last word in, ya know? Go ahead. I don't care.

 

[Just Blue]

Excuse me, but OP has NOT slung any insults. And yes, I was asking questions**************..that's what this site is for. But doncha worry bout it one lil bit, because I am done here.

This site is insane. A person comes on here and calls me names, and when I make a feeble attempt to defend myself, I am the bad guy. NO WHERE in the rules does it say that I am required to bend over and take it from some internet keyboard warrior with a pissy attitude. Yes, I am aware that this is a free site and you are all volunteers. That is a good thing because if a paid lawyer were to speak to me in that same disrespectful condescending attitude, I would let her take her powertrip and her over inflated ego and stuff it (use your imagination as to where she could stuff it), as me and my money walked right out the door.

I have stated what my documentation says. I am not lying, I am not misunderstanding, I am stating what the documentation states. "(the parents) consent to temporary physical custody with (me). (Me) will have decision making in the matters pertaining to: medical care. (The parents) retain legal custody. (Child) is to be placed in the home of (ME) until resolution of the pending DSS action". We did not go to court. BOTH parents signed it, I signed it, the DSS lawyer signed it, and it was filed at the courthouse, signed by a Judge and returned to use. Perhaps Ohiogal is not familiar or ignorant with the documentation in NC. Perhaps she was the one with comprehension difficulties, possibly exacerbated by having her ass on her shoulders. Either way, her misunderstanding of the situation does not change what the paperwork says.

I have ridiculed because I need to step out of the legal situation and just provide research , ironically that is what I am doing and why I am here. Gam, I am not referring to you. Your post was both kind and helpful, thank you.

I have been ridiculed because I need to get my son's balls out of my purse strings. Funny thing, as I have previously stated, I have no money to give him. So, a reasonable conclusion would be that he is not sticking his hand out expect money that does not exist.

The advice I have received here amounts to: You need to start doing what you are already doing, and stop doing what you are not doing.

A reasonable response could have gone something like "Either you are not expressing yourself clearly, or we just don't understand your situation, so therefore, we cannot help you".

It really doesnt matter. I am done with this site. I am sure that someone will come along and "spread the joy" with more bullcrap. Gotta get that last word in, ya know? Go ahead. I don't care.

All righty then.

 

[Ohiogal]

Excuse me, but OP has NOT slung any insults. And yes, I was asking questions**************..that's what this site is for. But doncha worry bout it one lil bit, because I am done here.

This site is insane. A person comes on here and calls me names, and when I make a feeble attempt to defend myself, I am the bad guy. NO WHERE in the rules does it say that I am required to bend over and take it from some internet keyboard warrior with a pissy attitude. Yes, I am aware that this is a free site and you are all volunteers. That is a good thing because if a paid lawyer were to speak to me in that same disrespectful condescending attitude, I would let her take her powertrip and her over inflated ego and stuff it (use your imagination as to where she could stuff it), as me and my money walked right out the door.

I have stated what my documentation says. I am not lying, I am not misunderstanding, I am stating what the documentation states. "(the parents) consent to temporary physical custody with (me). (Me) will have decision making in the matters pertaining to: medical care. (The parents) retain legal custody. (Child) is to be placed in the home of (ME) until resolution of the pending DSS action". We did not go to court. BOTH parents signed it, I signed it, the DSS lawyer signed it, and it was filed at the courthouse, signed by a Judge and returned to use. Perhaps Ohiogal is not familiar or ignorant with the documentation in NC. Perhaps she was the one with comprehension difficulties, possibly exacerbated by having her ass on her shoulders. Either way, her misunderstanding of the situation does not change what the paperwork says.

I have ridiculed because I need to step out of the legal situation and just provide research , ironically that is what I am doing and why I am here. Gam, I am not referring to you. Your post was both kind and helpful, thank you.

I have been ridiculed because I need to get my son's balls out of my purse strings. Funny thing, as I have previously stated, I have no money to give him. So, a reasonable conclusion would be that he is not sticking his hand out expect money that does not exist.

The advice I have received here amounts to: You need to start doing what you are already doing, and stop doing what you are not doing.

A reasonable response could have gone something like "Either you are not expressing yourself clearly, or we just don't understand your situation, so therefore, we cannot help you".

It really doesnt matter. I am done with this site. I am sure that someone will come along and "spread the joy" with more bullcrap. Gotta get that last word in, ya know? Go ahead. I don't care.

So go pay someone. You weren't being clear. If you would have posted the above actual wording before this then we could have told you that mother gets child back.

 

[Rwedunyet]

I am not so sure that the mother will get the baby back right now. According to the OP's first post, the mother is still being investigated for child abuse and the quote that the OP provided said that the child was to be placed with the grandmother until the dss situation was resolved.

Either way, it IS a shame that this baby is sort of stuck without a proper parent at this point. I understand where "gammy" is coming from, it sucks to have a kid under your care and to not know what is going to happen. Been there, done that AND bought the t-shirt.

(going back to lurkdomville now)

 

[gammyismyname]

So go pay someone. You weren't being clear. If you would have posted the above actual wording before this then we could have told you that mother gets child back.

Well, I can be clear for you this time. You were wrong. According to the judge, "the courts are not in the habit of returning children to suspected child abusers when that child has a parent who is not suspected of anything and has done the things necessary to provide for his child, including moving out of his own home so that the child could be placed in the physical custody of family member". (just to clear up any confusion, that is a direct quote)

I wanted to update in case some other poor soul was in this situation and came to this site.

My son now has custody. The DSS case on my grand-daughter was closed. Since my grandchild was not abused or neglected, DSS had no legal reason to stay involved in her life ( according to the judge). Since my son was no longer considered suspect, and grandchild's mother IS considered a suspect, the courts granted custody to my son. Mom has supervised visitation at his discretion, until such time as she petitions the court for other arrangements. It worked out great for grand daughter!

 

[Just Blue]

Well, I can be clear for you this time. You were wrong. According to the judge, "the courts are not in the habit of returning children to suspected child abusers when that child has a parent who is not suspected of anything and has done the things necessary to provide for his child, including moving out of his own home so that the child could be placed in the physical custody of family member". (just to clear up any confusion, that is a direct quote)

I wanted to update in case some other poor soul was in this situation and came to this site.

My son now has custody. The DSS case on my grand-daughter was closed. Since my grandchild was not abused or neglected, DSS had no legal reason to stay involved in her life ( according to the judge). Since my son was no longer considered suspect, and grandchild's mother IS considered a suspect, the courts granted custody to my son. Mom has supervised visitation at his discretion, until such time as she petitions the court for other arrangements. It worked out great for grand daughter!

What I understand from your thread, and think Is VERY important to others that may read it is: Be very clear in what you write to get the best advice possible on this site. Don't do what OP did and cause confusion.