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  1. #1
    dylhan is offline Junior Member
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    clothes for kids

    What is the name of your state? nh

    up till now when the kids go for a weekend or vacation, i must supply all the clothes and if i'm lucky to get the clothes back i have to wash them. he refuses to buy clothes for the kids saying it was not ordered by the court... he also has no furniture for the kids, ...... mattress only and does not keep the apartment clean to the point that the kids do not want to spend the night there anymore.... am i required to provide all the clothes or should he be buying clothes for his place?? he has them 1 night a week and every other weekend. is he required to buy furniture for the kids?? how do i go about getting this behavior changed??? let me know if you need further info..
  2. #2
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dylhan View Post
    What is the name of your state? nh

    up till now when the kids go for a weekend or vacation, i must supply all the clothes and if i'm lucky to get the clothes back i have to wash them. he refuses to buy clothes for the kids saying it was not ordered by the court... he also has no furniture for the kids, ...... mattress only and does not keep the apartment clean to the point that the kids do not want to spend the night there anymore.... am i required to provide all the clothes or should he be buying clothes for his place?? he has them 1 night a week and every other weekend. is he required to buy furniture for the kids?? how do i go about getting this behavior changed??? let me know if you need further info..
    Everything you've listed is just something you're going to have to get over. I know that's not what you want to hear, but there ya go. The kids could be racked out in sleeping bags on the living room floor and y'all would still just have to suck it up.
  3. #3
    dylhan is offline Junior Member
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    to cj

    ok, what about clothes for his place. am i required to supply clothes for his place and be required to wash them if i get them back??
  4. #4
    MrsK is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dylhan View Post
    ok, what about clothes for his place. am i required to supply clothes for his place and be required to wash them if i get them back??
    How old are your children? Why dont you tell your kids to take some responsibility and get the clothes they brought with them and bring them home??? Unlses your kids are under the age of 4, this is something they can handle. And are you complaining about having to WASH the clothes you DO get back?
    Last edited by m martin; 11-10-2006 at 03:33 PM.
  5. #5
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dylhan View Post
    ok, what about clothes for his place. am i required to supply clothes for his place and be required to wash them if i get them back??
    Yeah, in a lot of states, the CP is required to provide clothing for use at the NCP's house. The thought process being that the NCP is paying child support, and part of that goes towards clothing the children.

    And yes, if they come back dirty you need to wash them.
  6. #6
    dylhan is offline Junior Member
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    to mrs k

    washing clothes is not the problem... buying the clothes is. i work 40 plus hours a week. i should go out buy extra clothes, have the kids bring them with them when on vacation with the father and then its the kids responsibilty to bring them home for me to wash so i can pack them up again?? what world are you living in???? what exepts the father from buying and washing clothes??
  7. #7
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dylhan View Post
    washing clothes is not the problem... buying the clothes is. i work 40 plus hours a week. i should go out buy extra clothes, have the kids bring them with them when on vacation with the father and then its the kids responsibilty to bring them home for me to wash so i can pack them up again?? what world are you living in???? what exepts the father from buying and washing clothes??

    You're really making a ginormous mountain out of a tiny little mole hill.

    The kids spend 8 days/month with their father. That's what... 2 'extra' loads of laundry per month for you?

    I do at least one load of laundry every night when I get home from work. I'm not sure I'd notice an extra 2 loads a month. Let alone bitch about it.
  8. #8
    dylhan is offline Junior Member
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    right now i am getting no child support.
  9. #9
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Have you filed for CS? Is this a new divorce? Are there orders for visitation/custody?

    How old ARE the kids? How many are there?
  10. #10
    MrsK is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dylhan View Post
    washing clothes is not the problem... buying the clothes is. i work 40 plus hours a week. i should go out buy extra clothes, have the kids bring them with them when on vacation with the father and then its the kids responsibilty to bring them home for me to wash so i can pack them up again?? what world are you living in???? what exepts the father from buying and washing clothes??
    And yes, you should go out and buy clothes. You should send them. You should tell your kids to make sure they bring them home- ALL of them. If they are dirty, get the kids to wash them, or you wash them. He isnt going to do it, so what's more important to you- putting the screws to your ex, or providing for your children?

    Your last sentence doesnt even make sense, but I think you are asking, in simpler terms, why is it fair that dad doesnt have to buy and wash the clothes for the kids at his house. Answer: Life aint fair. Now, I dont know the exact law in your state, some states say the NCP has to provide stuff for the kids while at his house (furniture isnt one of those, its usually food and clothing...). Perhaps someone will know if thats in the law books for your state. But if its not, and obviously dad isnt going to do it...do it. OMG, so you have to wash an extra load a week. So what????? Be the bigger person, or make your kids take a little responsiblity in life and have THEM wash the clothes. Again, unless they are very young, this is NOT unreasonable.

    You know, I send clothes with my kids to my ex's house (and our court order says he is required to supply all needs for them at his house...I still send stuff sometimes! You know why? Because I love my kids & I have better things to do than fight with my ex which I do get back (and if he wouldnt send them, I'd talk to the kids 15 min before they were leaving and tell them to go pick up all their clothes and put them into a bag...and my kids are 3 and 5, and have the mental capacity to do it...) and sometimes they are even WASHED. I rewash them. I personally would rather he send the clothes home dirty b/c I am particular about how our clothing is washed. There have been times where he has forgotten to bring back certain items, so I CALL HIM and say "If you drive by my house, please drop off the clothing..." or if I bring the kids to him the next time, I ask him for it when I get there. Or I remind my kids to ask daddy to send the clothes back.

    Its really that simple.

    Or, you know, if its THAT big of a deal for you, go waste some $$ on an atty & get it clarified in your court order.

    BTW- what world do I live in?? The one where I dont set my sights on pissing over every little thing because I'm happy & content in my life and I have better ways to spend my time.
    Last edited by m martin; 11-10-2006 at 03:35 PM.
  11. #11
    Zephyr is offline Senior Member
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    here's the thing though....you can't- without going to court FORCE dad to do anything...do you have enough money to take this into court? how many loads of laundry or outfits does an hour of the lawyers time buy? so unless you are prepared to send them to dad's naked then there's not much to be done other than take care of your kids
  12. #12
    MrsK is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dylhan View Post
    right now i am getting no child support.
    So why are you getting no support? What are you doing about it?

    & please, answer how many kids there are and their ages.
  13. #13
    StepMomInGA is offline Member
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    We feel for ya!

    We are in the same situation you are in. NCP pays no support, but complains about us not sending enough clothes for her visitation. I send my step-son's play clothes. If she wants nice clothes for him to wear, then she's got to go buy them. Go to a thrift store and buy some cheap stuff. You can get pants for $3 and shirts for $1 or $2. We've even tried sending a whole bag of clothes for the whole 2 times a year NCP gets him, but she sent it right back saying she didn't have room.

    Good luck. Hopefully you can get support soon!!
  14. #14
    haiku is offline Senior Member
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    you expect someone to do a load of wash for what? one, two outfits?

    thats ridiculous.

    So do you get up grandma's butt when she doesn't do your kids laundry when the y have a sleepover there?

    gah****************************.
    "It is easier to build strong children than repair broken men." Frederick Douglas
  15. #15
    fairisfair is offline Senior Member
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    OP, check your parenting plan. New Hampshire's standard parenting plan DOES have language regarding the clothing for children during parenting time and discusses both parent's responsibility to provide clothing during parenting time and the responsibility to RETURN it.

    [url]http://www.nh.gov/judiciary/forms/nhjb-2064-fs.pdf[/url]
    see #6

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