Confusing Custody Question and out of state visit

[jlfoster82]

(I reside in Florida)

My son is 10 years of age. Since I was a teen mom, it was best at the time for my son to live with his father who was more stable financially. Over the years, I grew up and became a better option for my son. The tables turned and his father dropped him off with me very unexpected which was FINE with me. My son lived with me in NJ for a year and a half and being I was married with 3 other children, we relocated to Florida a little over a year ago. My son has lived with me nearly 3 years completely under my care and custody. His father was and still is aware and happy that our son relocated with us and there is no quams about custody or anything. That said, with him being in school and his father still living in NJ, the only time he sees him is during the summer. Last summer, he went to NJ for the summer to spend time with his father (no my ex husband we were NEVER married btw). His father was overwhelmed with emotion and decided that my son was staying with him, dispite the fact that my son is much more stable and better with me. I am the better parent by a long shot and he is well taken care of here with me.
I have been trying to get full custody in the courts for a while now, but they keep throwing me through hoops to make that happen. The last we were in court was when my son was 5 years old and his father got residential custody prior to starting school.

So, I do not have anything from the courts that I have full custody, but he has lived with me in Florida for quite some time, and in my care for a little over 3 years now. I DO have a notirized letter of his father stating "I hereby put my son in his mothers care, and am turning over full custody and all rights to her" (thats the jist of a long letter) which I had us sign and notarized upon my sons switch to live with me.
Thats all I have.

Summer is nearing again and my son wants to go visit his dad, which I don't want to deny him..he has that right. BUT. I don't want to run into the same situation I did last year. They made promises to my son and tempted him to stay and it worked until I spoke with him and won him over. It was a very juvinile thing they did and manipulated him.

I don't want to tell my son he can't see his father, and I don't want to deny his father from seeing his son, but I am at a crossroad where I am lost.

Is there something I can do, to protect myself on this? A letter I can get or motion I can file stating that he MUST return him by a certain date?

As I said, I do not yet have full custody, but the fact that he has lived with me for 3 years has to stand for soemthing. I have documents proving he lives here and attended 2 years of school here in florida with me.

ANY HELP APPRECIATED!!

 

[ecmst12]

You go by your current court order until you have a new one. You need to get your legal custody situation fixed ASAP. Doesn't sound like you've done a whole lot to get that taken care of. Have you even filed anything? I think you need a lawyer in NJ, since it sounds like that's where your current custody order is from, and since dad still lives there it would still have jurisdiction.

 

[stealth2]

(I reside in Florida)They made promises to my son and tempted him to stay and it worked until I spoke with him and won him over. It was a very juvinile thing they did and manipulated him.

Sounds to me as though Dad & Co. aren't the only ones skilled at manipulation. I think both you and Dad need to grow up and start thinking of your son, not yourselves.

 

[MichaCA]

You go by your current court order until you have a new one. You need to get your legal custody situation fixed ASAP. Doesn't sound like you've done a whole lot to get that taken care of. Have you even filed anything? I think you need a lawyer in NJ, since it sounds like that's where your current custody order is from, and since dad still lives there it would still have jurisdiction.

I agree, you need to act ASAP with a family law attorney in NJ - at least file a motion for modification of custody. I would be prepared to submit a parenting plan as well - how transportation handled, shared holidays, etc (look up long distance plans). However, I would get the motion served as soon as you can as courts can be back-logged several months. I would hope the case could get heard before summer is over.

And you are putting the child in the middle - all the more reason you and dad need a court order to go by, and child gets clear message that this is the plan - irregardless of how great some things are at the other parents.