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A_Loving_Father

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Arkansas (Go Hogs)

I am going to try to be as thorough as I can about this particular situation. I have recently filed for reduction in my child support due to a pay cut that I took since having to change jobs. I was behind by four weeks at one point in time, and my son's mother did not let me see him. We have standard visitation. I filed an incident report at the designated drop off point, but realized the written court order signed by both of our attorneys does not have the designated drop off point as stated by the judge in the courts. The police officer told me that without that being placed in the court order, i can not go to her door with police assistance to visit my son. I live 90 miles from her, so we meet half way and her house, my house, and the drop off point are located in three different counties. Last visitation, I was able to pick my son up because I got in contact with her husband and he brought my son to our designated point. However, when it came time to meet me to pick him up, she told me that i was to come all the way to her house, or she would charge me with kidnapping. Once again, her husband eventually came to pick him up. My son, who is only five, is caught in the middle of these games. He feels like its something that he has done. I keep reassuring him that we both (both being his mother and I) love him and want to spend more time with him. I not once degrade his mother, in front of him. My question is this, if I can provide a transcript of the judge's telling us the designated time and place for the drop off point, does that suffice? Also, can she charge me with kidnapping when I do show up to drop him off and she decides to either not show up, or not to wait if I happen to be a few minutes late, few being fifteen minutes at the most? She seems to think that she has me by the balls. I for one am tired of suffering from the mother-favoring courts in Arkansas. Please help me with suggestions on what i might be able to do to protect my interest in visitation rights to see my son.
 
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luvmy3girls

Junior Member
I know here in virginia that as long as you have a court order singed by a judge she has to abide by that and meet you and if she does not then she is in violation and you can file a show cause.

If it is a court order then she can get you for kiddnapping but if its not an order then she cannot at least thats how it is here and I would think with court order in any state it holds up.
 
A_Loving_Father said:
What is the name of your state? Arkansas (Go Hogs)

I am going to try to be as thorough as I can about this particular situation. I have recently filed for reduction in my child support due to a pay cut that I took since having to change jobs. I was behind by four weeks at one point in time, and my son's mother did not let me see him. We have standard visitation. I filed an incident report at the designated drop off point, but realized the written court order signed by both of our attorneys does not have the designated drop off point as stated by the judge in the courts. The police officer told me that without that being placed in the court order, i can not go to her door with police assistance to visit my son. I live 90 miles from her, so we meet half way and her house, my house, and the drop off point are located in three different counties. Last visitation, I was able to pick my son up because I got in contact with her husband and he brought my son to our designated point. However, when it came time to meet me to pick him up, she told me that i was to come all the way to her house, or she would charge me with kidnapping. Once again, her husband eventually came to pick him up. My son, who is only five, is caught in the middle of these games. He feels like its something that he has done. I keep reassuring him that we both (both being his mother and I) love him and want to spend more time with him. I not once degrade his mother, in front of him. My question is this, if I can provide a transcript of the judge's telling us the designated time and place for the drop off point, does that suffice? Also, can she charge me with kidnapping when I do show up to drop him off and she decides to either not show up, or not to wait if I happen to be a few minutes late, few being fifteen minutes at the most? She seems to think that she has me by the balls. I for one am tired of suffering from the mother-favoring courts in Arkansas. Please help me with suggestions on what i might be able to do to protect my interest in visitation rights to see my son.
First of all....Who moved? and secondly define having to change jobs?
 

A_Loving_Father

Junior Member
WHO moved? Change in jobs?....

I moved due to a job offer that I had three years ago. Unfortunately, the company I went to work for made some cut backs and I lost my job. I currently am working for a company with a very small salary and going to school part time. I have 25% stock in this company, but it is only two years old and is just now showing profit. The reason I am with this company is the valuable property that it is located at, and the opportunity to have flexibility to finish my education.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
You may or may not have any luck with your downward mod - a good argument could be made that your lower income is due to a voluntary decrease.

As for the rest - if it's not specified in your order, you're fighting an uphill battle to have anything enforced. What you really need is a modification of the visitation order to specify when and where the drop-off is.
 

A_Loving_Father

Junior Member
Modification of the court order...

I went to court back in April of 2004 for a modification after she didnt let me see him (my son) for 9 months. I filed contempt when she told me I wasnt going to see him. After a month of not being able to see him or talk to him i stopped paying child support. When I went to court, six months after filing contempt, I was listed as the plaintiff, she was listed as the defendant, however the issue was over child support, visitation never became a factor until I told the judge I still want to see my son after he gave his ruling over the child support. It was then he designated the drop off point and time. However, my attorney signed the court order and it failed to mention the point and time that was brought up in court. I called the court reporter and am receiving a copy of the transcript of that hearing. Would that suffice in having the court order modified? What if she wont let me see him again for visitation weekend, could I use that to have the police come with me to see my son?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
The transcript is NOT a court order. The cops will be under no obligation to use it to enforce visitation. Sorry.
 

A_Loving_Father

Junior Member
Modification of the court order...

What about placing that in a court order? Its apparent that she is gonna do how she please with letting me see my son, with no consequences or actions taken by the state. However, I dont have a choice when it comes to paying child support when I see fit. It is unfortunate that many fathers have to suffer from the consequences of those who have been unfit or not worth to be with their own children.
 

Zephyr

Senior Member
and even though with the long drive it is a hassle you can certainly go all the way to her house to pick up your son at the exchange time, then there would be no real reason for the court not to view it as contempt on her part, you will be going above and beyond to have access to your child and she is denying you your court ordered time.
 

A_Loving_Father

Junior Member
Coming to the house...

I have come to the house many times when she was denying me my time with my son and she would not be there. I have receipts through use of my credit card of purchases I have made when I have come to pick him up at her house to prove that i was in her town. The courts just dont look at it that way. This is what has gotten me so aggravated. I have gone WAY above and beyond what is asked because I want to, I would take custody today if given the opportunity. This may sound petty, but thats the type of person i am dealing with. I understand that she rather my son call her husband dad, and me Michael. Everytime I pick him up, i have to correct him. He is five and becoming aware that I am his father.
 
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Zephyr

Senior Member
make sure the your attorney presents that to the judge, having the child call someone else dad, obviously shows lack of support on her part for a loving relationship between you and the child. might even fall into alienation.
 

A_Loving_Father

Junior Member
Second Attempt

This is now my second attempt to see my son. I have called and went to her house and never got to see him. She has picked up the phone, oblivious to the fact someone has called in, tried to dial up, heard me say hello on the other end, and hangs up. Its obvious she is going out of her way to not let me see my son. I am going to find an attorney, but would still appreciate any advice on what to look for in an attorney (been screwed twice now in the family courts.) Also what would be some good points to discuss with my attorney as far as chances for custody, or the protocol on making her suffer the consequences of her actions towards me and my son.
 

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