Have the rest of the visits been going smoothly? Has dad been given makeup time before being served?
Child was feeling better..following Sunday my son was feeling better but still too sick to play outside in my opinion so I asked the FOB to reschedule he instead called the police and is now pressing contempt of court charges with family law.
I know the law is not based on a mothers intuition
Last edited by Blue Meanie; 03-26-2012 at 05:45 PM.
Tinker is right, document it even if you bring everything and never have to present it. It does seem that your 'worst case scenario' is make-up time -- which might even be a stretch in itself. But maybe that offer is a good step in and of itself.
One situation, with a history of compliance to the order, and with valid concern, is unlikely to be reprimanded harshly.
I did notice that you noted that the time is to be in open areas -- and you cited all public places. Your residence is not a public ("open") place listed. Perhaps he didn't feel comfortable having the time in YOUR residence.
Nonetheless, what (most) people are pretty much trying to say is that if kiddo isn't feeling well (not sick and seen by a doctor), Dad is just as capable of caring for kiddo as you are. You do not get the unilaterally decide otherwise. You very well could've provided the necessities to deal with a kid under the weather.
I can't see you being held in contempt, per se (although the judge/magistrate/officer might have a few things to say), but I think you should take this as a "hint" from your ex that he will not play around when it comes to HIS time with HIS child. And, perhaps, he felt you were interfering with that.
One of the potential problems here is the fact that doctors are so reluctant these days to give the little ones anything that will clear up whatever it is that they have, faster. Therefore its not unusual for children to be sick for a couple of weeks. When you miss multiple visits you put yourself at risk.
Do tell the judge that you offered to have dad visit in your home. If it happens again you should perhaps offer to take the child to dad's home to visit in lieu of a public place.
Most likely this time you will just get a lecture from the judge or a relatively small fine. Be smarter next time. Tell dad that the child is sick and ask him where he suggests would be the best place for the visit to take place.
I don't think the first day you cancelled would be considered contempt due to your child's age and the initial presenting symptoms. But the second visit you probably should have talked it over with Dad and discussed options such as meeting at a restaurant with a play area or indoor shopping center or even a children's museum or other public indoor activity. I also agree that you may only get a warning from the judge. Public defender? Not sure you would qualify but it wouldn't hurt to try.
In the future remember that Dad is working towards regular visits and will certainly need to take the child when sick.
YESSS!! All of your input has been helpful and I appreciate it all. Im in the process of writing a declaration along with photocopying the medical records to file with the courts. I also want to add something that may have been better of if mention earlier.
The tuesday visits are OPTIONAL in our court order, so FOB called asked for a visit and I said no because I was taking him to the dr. Technically I only denied Court ordered visitation once.
Despite that this will never happen again because they are in the 3rd stage of the visits where my son is with his father all day in his home (we live 3 hours away from eachother which is why visits were generally outside in my area and FOB is not familiar with city) and I would have no problem with him taking him to his house while sick. It was just a bad situation.
I pray that all the judge does is give a stern lecture
Im not playing. My sons father works full time retail so his work schedule varies he gets Sundays off at his request for visits but the 2nd day off changes. His second day off he has to request a visit 7 days in advance. He didnt request a visit and called the morning of, previously I have allowed him time with our son without 7 day notice (ex he asks the day before or calls the morning of) because any time he wants to drive down to see our son I support it. Its on the temporary visitation orders we set prior to the final ones being made. Sorry for the lack of info.
DO NOT let them see you sweat! Do not show lack of confidence in front of the visitor or the judge as long as you have your documentation.
Rule #2: Keep a record of everything. Emails, texts, phone call dialogue, Dr. visits, prescriptions, clothing receipts, outings, McDonald's, gas, mileage, etc... You got the point.
Rule #3: Stay within your boundaries and do not lose your cool.
MY RULE: Don't listen to Meanie. Pessimistic attitudes only get you concerned and keep you from your focus, which is your baby's well-being. ALWAYS REMAIN FOCUSED! Babies matter... They are our future leaders... You know what I mean?
You did the right thing by offering your home. You did the right thing by taking baby to the Dr. You did the right thing documenting your visits. You ARE NOT in contempt for keeping the health and well-being of your child the number one reason for inability to take the ill baby to a "heavy populated" area where the baby could relapse or get sicker. You had the child's best interest in heart and the visitor DID NOT if he/she was not understanding of the situation and able to be flexible considering the circumstances.
You are in a different ball-game now. Be sure to keep a notepad, book, journal, or something just for your documentation of every event and I mean right down to the letter. It sounds as if the "visitor" is not your "best-friend" and if He/She acted like it... DON"T BELIEVE IT! Stay within the letter of the law/order and if there is a problem at any time, call the l police and document it. BUT.... Remember, your problem with the "visitor" is exactly that... Your problem... Don't let it interfere with the baby and his/her relationship with the "visitor". This goes both ways so be sure to be prepared to document, just in case. All babies need both parents as long as they are good parents and not messed up in the head (so to speak).
Good luck... I hope that I'm not too late to aid you with some POSITIVE reinforcement. Please, let us know how it went or how it goes....
Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.
Attorney-GAL in Ohio.
I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.