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  1. #16
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Meanie View Post
    Please. Blue DOES live in colder Northern clime. BUT REALLY NOW! Child is better off in indoor Mall as opposed to brisk FRESH air? REALLY?

    If child's temp was so high to warrant a lack of visit to Dad then child should have been at the Pedi. Normal temp is 97-99 in humans. If child had a temp within 1 point of norm then bundle kiddo up and proceed with COURT ORDER.
    First post.

    Kiddo had temp of 103, was vomiting, and DID go to the doctor.
  2. #17
    Zigner is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CJane View Post
    First post.

    Kiddo had temp of 103, was vomiting, and DID go to the doctor.
    On TUESDAY. By SUNDAY, mom just had a vague intuition that kiddo was still too sick to go.
  3. #18
    TinkerBelleLuvr is offline Senior Member
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    Have the rest of the visits been going smoothly? Has dad been given makeup time before being served?
  4. #19
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CJane View Post
    First post.

    Kiddo had temp of 103, was vomiting, and DID go to the doctor.
    following Sunday my son was feeling better but still too sick to play outside in my opinion so I asked the FOB to reschedule he instead called the police and is now pressing contempt of court charges with family law.

    I know the law is not based on a mothers intuition
    Child was feeling better..
    Last edited by Blue Meanie; 03-26-2012 at 05:45 PM.
  5. #20
    DownTime is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coleman View Post
    Do you think I should ask for a court appointed attorney since it is a criminal case
    I don't think you need one. Honestly. You can handle this pro-se. That is a personal question depending on you, and how confident you feel representing yourself.

    Tinker is right, document it even if you bring everything and never have to present it. It does seem that your 'worst case scenario' is make-up time -- which might even be a stretch in itself. But maybe that offer is a good step in and of itself.

    One situation, with a history of compliance to the order, and with valid concern, is unlikely to be reprimanded harshly.
  6. #21
    meanyjack is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coleman View Post
    Do you think I should ask for a court appointed attorney since it is a criminal case?
    .
    *sigh* What makes you think that you're entitled to an attorney paid for by taxpayers?
    I did notice that you noted that the time is to be in open areas -- and you cited all public places. Your residence is not a public ("open") place listed. Perhaps he didn't feel comfortable having the time in YOUR residence.

    Nonetheless, what (most) people are pretty much trying to say is that if kiddo isn't feeling well (not sick and seen by a doctor), Dad is just as capable of caring for kiddo as you are. You do not get the unilaterally decide otherwise. You very well could've provided the necessities to deal with a kid under the weather.

    I can't see you being held in contempt, per se (although the judge/magistrate/officer might have a few things to say), but I think you should take this as a "hint" from your ex that he will not play around when it comes to HIS time with HIS child. And, perhaps, he felt you were interfering with that.
  7. #22
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coleman View Post
    I am in Southern California. My son's father and I have a court ordered parenting plan. Its in phases that allow our son and his father bonding time because they have just recently met. The visits are at the park, mall, open areas but my sons father isnt allowed to take him to his home yet because of their new relationship. On the day of a visit (Tuesday) my son woke up with a 103 degree fever and was vomiting so I told my sons father that we'd have to reschedule because playing outside isnt best for a sick 1 year old. I took our son to the Dr and she confirmed that he was indeed sick and should rest. The following Sunday my son was feeling better but still too sick to play outside in my opinion so I asked the FOB to reschedule he instead called the police and is now pressing contempt of court charges with family law.

    I know the law is not based on a mothers intuition, however its common sense that a 1 year old shouldnt play outside sick. It could put him at risk for a serious illness. At my sons age i cannot give him cough medicine or anything either so he has to get better on his own with the help of fever reducer. (By the way he was still sick for next tuesdays visit and I let him go, I had to take him BACK to the dr cause he got sick again this time with an ear ache)

    My question is if any, what will be my punishment? (jail, fine, change of custody) Should I ask for a public defender?
    I can understand if a child has a 103 degree fever and is vomiting that taking the child outside the home, for any reason, is a bad idea. I think that even dad would have figured that out if you had done so. Dad missing one visit because the child is sick (if dad refuses to visit in your home) is not so bad. However the second missed visit was more problematic. If dad wouldn't visit in your home then you needed to make arrangements for some other indoor visit.

    One of the potential problems here is the fact that doctors are so reluctant these days to give the little ones anything that will clear up whatever it is that they have, faster. Therefore its not unusual for children to be sick for a couple of weeks. When you miss multiple visits you put yourself at risk.

    Do tell the judge that you offered to have dad visit in your home. If it happens again you should perhaps offer to take the child to dad's home to visit in lieu of a public place.

    Most likely this time you will just get a lecture from the judge or a relatively small fine. Be smarter next time. Tell dad that the child is sick and ask him where he suggests would be the best place for the visit to take place.
  8. #23
    gr8rn is offline Senior Member
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    I don't think the first day you cancelled would be considered contempt due to your child's age and the initial presenting symptoms. But the second visit you probably should have talked it over with Dad and discussed options such as meeting at a restaurant with a play area or indoor shopping center or even a children's museum or other public indoor activity. I also agree that you may only get a warning from the judge. Public defender? Not sure you would qualify but it wouldn't hurt to try.
    In the future remember that Dad is working towards regular visits and will certainly need to take the child when sick.
  9. #24
    Coleman is offline Junior Member
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    YESSS!! All of your input has been helpful and I appreciate it all. Im in the process of writing a declaration along with photocopying the medical records to file with the courts. I also want to add something that may have been better of if mention earlier.
    The tuesday visits are OPTIONAL in our court order, so FOB called asked for a visit and I said no because I was taking him to the dr. Technically I only denied Court ordered visitation once.
    Despite that this will never happen again because they are in the 3rd stage of the visits where my son is with his father all day in his home (we live 3 hours away from eachother which is why visits were generally outside in my area and FOB is not familiar with city) and I would have no problem with him taking him to his house while sick. It was just a bad situation.
    I pray that all the judge does is give a stern lecture
  10. #25
    Coleman is offline Junior Member
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    Im not playing. My sons father works full time retail so his work schedule varies he gets Sundays off at his request for visits but the 2nd day off changes. His second day off he has to request a visit 7 days in advance. He didnt request a visit and called the morning of, previously I have allowed him time with our son without 7 day notice (ex he asks the day before or calls the morning of) because any time he wants to drive down to see our son I support it. Its on the temporary visitation orders we set prior to the final ones being made. Sorry for the lack of info.
  11. #26
    DownTime is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coleman View Post
    I pray that all the judge does is give a stern lecture
    Even with all going on in this thread, that is probably all you will get, considering.

    Let us know the outcome if you feel so inclined. It may help others in your situation for that calming factor, at the very least.
  12. #27
    Summeruv67 is offline Junior Member
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    PLEASE READ.. Coleman's child and these "posts"

    Quote Originally Posted by Coleman View Post
    I actually just picked up the records from the 2 Drs visits. The first one says that she should rest but that was Tuesday and Im not aware if the judge will accept it counting for Sunday was well. However the following Sunday visit FOB did notice that he was still sick but thank you so much for the information. It seems as though the punishment, if found in contempt, it totally up to the judge.
    First off.. I'm angry because I just wrote the you the best advice you could have gotten among the previous and it was discarded... Second.... Children are worth the time regardless of how frustrated that I am, but I will summarize briefly, as I am working on a case of my own, because I care.

    Rule #1:
    DO NOT let them see you sweat! Do not show lack of confidence in front of the visitor or the judge as long as you have your documentation.
    Rule #2: Keep a record of everything. Emails, texts, phone call dialogue, Dr. visits, prescriptions, clothing receipts, outings, McDonald's, gas, mileage, etc... You got the point.
    Rule #3: Stay within your boundaries and do not lose your cool.

    MY RULE: Don't listen to Meanie. Pessimistic attitudes only get you concerned and keep you from your focus, which is your baby's well-being. ALWAYS REMAIN FOCUSED! Babies matter... They are our future leaders... You know what I mean?

    You did the right thing by offering your home. You did the right thing by taking baby to the Dr. You did the right thing documenting your visits. You ARE NOT in contempt for keeping the health and well-being of your child the number one reason for inability to take the ill baby to a "heavy populated" area where the baby could relapse or get sicker. You had the child's best interest in heart and the visitor DID NOT if he/she was not understanding of the situation and able to be flexible considering the circumstances.

    You are in a different ball-game now. Be sure to keep a notepad, book, journal, or something just for your documentation of every event and I mean right down to the letter. It sounds as if the "visitor" is not your "best-friend" and if He/She acted like it... DON"T BELIEVE IT! Stay within the letter of the law/order and if there is a problem at any time, call the l police and document it. BUT.... Remember, your problem with the "visitor" is exactly that... Your problem... Don't let it interfere with the baby and his/her relationship with the "visitor". This goes both ways so be sure to be prepared to document, just in case. All babies need both parents as long as they are good parents and not messed up in the head (so to speak).

    Good luck... I hope that I'm not too late to aid you with some POSITIVE reinforcement. Please, let us know how it went or how it goes....

    Warmly,
    Summer
  13. #28
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Summeruv67 View Post
    First off.. I'm angry because I just wrote the you the best advice you could have gotten among the previous and it was discarded... Second.... Children are worth the time regardless of how frustrated that I am, but I will summarize briefly, as I am working on a case of my own, because I care.

    Rule #1:
    DO NOT let them see you sweat! Do not show lack of confidence in front of the visitor or the judge as long as you have your documentation.
    Rule #2: Keep a record of everything. Emails, texts, phone call dialogue, Dr. visits, prescriptions, clothing receipts, outings, McDonald's, gas, mileage, etc... You got the point.
    Rule #3: Stay within your boundaries and do not lose your cool.

    MY RULE: Don't listen to Meanie. Pessimistic attitudes only get you concerned and keep you from your focus, which is your baby's well-being. ALWAYS REMAIN FOCUSED! Babies matter... They are our future leaders... You know what I mean?

    You did the right thing by offering your home. You did the right thing by taking baby to the Dr. You did the right thing documenting your visits. You ARE NOT in contempt for keeping the health and well-being of your child the number one reason for inability to take the ill baby to a "heavy populated" area where the baby could relapse or get sicker. You had the child's best interest in heart and the visitor DID NOT if he/she was not understanding of the situation and able to be flexible considering the circumstances.

    You are in a different ball-game now. Be sure to keep a notepad, book, journal, or something just for your documentation of every event and I mean right down to the letter. It sounds as if the "visitor" is not your "best-friend" and if He/She acted like it... DON"T BELIEVE IT! Stay within the letter of the law/order and if there is a problem at any time, call the l police and document it. BUT.... Remember, your problem with the "visitor" is exactly that... Your problem... Don't let it interfere with the baby and his/her relationship with the "visitor". This goes both ways so be sure to be prepared to document, just in case. All babies need both parents as long as they are good parents and not messed up in the head (so to speak).

    Good luck... I hope that I'm not too late to aid you with some POSITIVE reinforcement. Please, let us know how it went or how it goes....

    Warmly,
    Summer
    This poster has not been back since March 26. Oh and the person is not the "visitor" -- the person is DAD. Try to remember that.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.

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