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Contempt of Court vs. Parenting Plan Modification

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aubreyz

Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WA

I am currently petitioning for some modifications to be made in our parenting plan, and my ex-husband is being less than compliant. He continues to disregard my court ordered parenting time, and says that I can only see my daughter during my scheduled time if I make plans far enough in advance of him making HIS plans for the weekend. Unfortunately, it seems there is no set amount of time in his mind; he has plans scheduled for my daughter's weekends for the next 6 weeks out (supposedly). He signs her up for camps, play dates, and vacations on my weekends, claiming that I never told him my official "plan" for that weekend's visitation. By court order, I am supposed to have my daughter one week night and on weekends, and before the "his schedule" problem, he has given me numerous other excuses as to why I can't see my daughter.

I was planning on filing a modification clarifying these points, but when I went to request the paperwork to make the clarification, the accompanying instruction read that the judge may not hear my case unless he has been found to be in contempt of court at least twice in the last 3 years.

I have mentioned to him that his actions are in contempt of court, but he claims that if I give him any "attitude" or "threaten him" that I will end up wishing I had never done so and he will have my currents rights stripped.

Before our most recent modification, he did have temporary custody while I went through a rehab program for prescription meds. That had not been a long-standing problem for me (only about 2 months), and I was quickly able to quit and get back to normal life. Before that, I had been the legal custodian and primary residential parent, receiving both alimony and child support. He had it ordered that I pay child support the moment I checked into rehab, and was not able to for 2 months. I have since repaid the amount now that I am working again. He makes over 300k per year and I make under 50k, so I was surprised that he even asked for Child Support during that time. He went on a tropical vacation with my daughter and bought a brand new BMW during that time, so I don't think he was hurting financially, and I suspect that having our daughter for 8 weeks cost him far, far less than paying child support to me.

He says that if I take action to have him found to be in contempt, that he will order new parenting evaluations for both of us and "destroy me" with allegations of drug abuse and having had past due child support. Can he do this, and have these things brought up, even though we've already had an amendment to the plan since these issues have been straightened out?

I'm afraid that by pursuing my rights to parenting time that I may be shooting myself in the foot and end up seeing her even less than I already do. I'm already up to my ears in legal fees surrounding this case as we speak.
 


profmum

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WA

I am currently petitioning for some modifications to be made in our parenting plan, and my ex-husband is being less than compliant. He continues to disregard my court ordered parenting time, and says that I can only see my daughter during my scheduled time if I make plans far enough in advance of him making HIS plans for the weekend. Unfortunately, it seems there is no set amount of time in his mind; he has plans scheduled for my daughter's weekends for the next 6 weeks out (supposedly). He signs her up for camps, play dates, and vacations on my weekends, claiming that I never told him my official "plan" for that weekend's visitation. By court order, I am supposed to have my daughter one week night and on weekends, and before the "his schedule" problem, he has given me numerous other excuses as to why I can't see my daughter.

I was planning on filing a modification clarifying these points, but when I went to request the paperwork to make the clarification, the accompanying instruction read that the judge may not hear my case unless he has been found to be in contempt of court at least twice in the last 3 years.

this makes no sense to me.. there is no "pre condition" for filing contempt.

I have mentioned to him that his actions are in contempt of court, but he claims that if I give him any "attitude" or "threaten him" that I will end up wishing I had never done so and he will have my currents rights stripped.

just because he says it is so, does not mean it will be so

Before our most recent modification, he did have temporary custody while I went through a rehab program for prescription meds. That had not been a long-standing problem for me (only about 2 months), and I was quickly able to quit and get back to normal life. Before that, I had been the legal custodian and primary residential parent, receiving both alimony and child support.

[B]so you tossed all this over for an addiction.. nice..how long was temporary custody supposed to last?

He had it ordered that I pay child support the moment I checked into rehab, and was not able to for 2 months. I have since repaid the amount now that I am working again. He makes over 300k per year and I make under 50k, so I was surprised that he even asked for Child Support during that time.

CS is the right of the child


He went on a tropical vacation with my daughter and bought a brand new BMW during that time, so I don't think he was hurting financially, and I suspect that having our daughter for 8 weeks cost him far, far less than paying child support to me.

move on.. does not matter what he did, you have to pay the court ordered CS

He says that if I take action to have him found to be in contempt, that he will order new parenting evaluations for both of us and "destroy me" with allegations of drug abuse and having had past due child support. Can he do this, and have these things brought up, even though we've already had an amendment to the plan since these issues have been straightened out?

Again he can try anything, does not mean it will happen.. but may be a parenting evaluation would be a good thing as it will demonstrate his lack of desire to be compliant with court orders.

I'm afraid that by pursuing my rights to parenting time that I may be shooting myself in the foot and end up seeing her even less than I already do. I'm already up to my ears in legal fees surrounding this case as we speak.
Hard to say what the judges will do, but I think you have a valid case.. are the current orders permanent or still temporary since you are out of rehab?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WA

I am currently petitioning for some modifications to be made in our parenting plan, and my ex-husband is being less than compliant. He continues to disregard my court ordered parenting time, and says that I can only see my daughter during my scheduled time if I make plans far enough in advance of him making HIS plans for the weekend. Unfortunately, it seems there is no set amount of time in his mind; he has plans scheduled for my daughter's weekends for the next 6 weeks out (supposedly). He signs her up for camps, play dates, and vacations on my weekends, claiming that I never told him my official "plan" for that weekend's visitation. By court order, I am supposed to have my daughter one week night and on weekends, and before the "his schedule" problem, he has given me numerous other excuses as to why I can't see my daughter.

I was planning on filing a modification clarifying these points, but when I went to request the paperwork to make the clarification, the accompanying instruction read that the judge may not hear my case unless he has been found to be in contempt of court at least twice in the last 3 years.

I have mentioned to him that his actions are in contempt of court, but he claims that if I give him any "attitude" or "threaten him" that I will end up wishing I had never done so and he will have my currents rights stripped.

Before our most recent modification, he did have temporary custody while I went through a rehab program for prescription meds. That had not been a long-standing problem for me (only about 2 months), and I was quickly able to quit and get back to normal life. Before that, I had been the legal custodian and primary residential parent, receiving both alimony and child support. He had it ordered that I pay child support the moment I checked into rehab, and was not able to for 2 months. I have since repaid the amount now that I am working again. He makes over 300k per year and I make under 50k, so I was surprised that he even asked for Child Support during that time. He went on a tropical vacation with my daughter and bought a brand new BMW during that time, so I don't think he was hurting financially, and I suspect that having our daughter for 8 weeks cost him far, far less than paying child support to me.

He says that if I take action to have him found to be in contempt, that he will order new parenting evaluations for both of us and "destroy me" with allegations of drug abuse and having had past due child support. Can he do this, and have these things brought up, even though we've already had an amendment to the plan since these issues have been straightened out?

I'm afraid that by pursuing my rights to parenting time that I may be shooting myself in the foot and end up seeing her even less than I already do. I'm already up to my ears in legal fees surrounding this case as we speak.
You cannot allow dad to intimidate you or take legal advice from dad. You MUST pursue your rights. Dad has no right to do what he is doing and if you allow him to get away with it, without filing for contempt, then you are giving up on your child.
 

aubreyz

Member
The current order is temporary, I agree to be working and abstain from all controlled substances and alcohol, and if there are no problems in 6 months time, we will share joint physical custody.

Not sure what you meant by "so you tossed all this for an addiction...nice", Profmum. You are welcome to read my previous posts; I was taking prescription pain meds for a couple of months after shattering my pelvis, and agreed to seek professional help weaning myself off because I was becoming dependent upon them, and getting very, very ill when I tried to cut back on my own. My ex would not agree to take her for the period of time I was in treatment without a plan modification, but said that he would have me proved unfit if I didn't go. I felt like my hands were tied and rehab was the best thing for me at the time, and I do not regret it.

After all, I did not post my question to be shamed for taking pain killers after sustaining such a serious injury. I've got enough of that at home, thankyouverymuch, and realize the error of my ways. I am not, however, an illegal drug user, a doctor shopper, or even a long term "legal" addict. I am a well-educated, caring mom, with an ex who hates me for leaving him.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
The current order is temporary, I agree to be working and abstain from all controlled substances and alcohol, and if there are no problems in 6 months time, we will share joint physical custody.

Not sure what you meant by "so you tossed all this for an addiction...nice", Profmum. You are welcome to read my previous posts; I was taking prescription pain meds for a couple of months after shattering my pelvis, and agreed to seek professional help weaning myself off because I was becoming dependent upon them, and getting very, very ill when I tried to cut back on my own. My ex would not agree to take her for the period of time I was in treatment without a plan modification, but said that he would have me proved unfit if I didn't go. I felt like my hands were tied and rehab was the best thing for me at the time, and I do not regret it.

After all, I did not post my question to be shamed for taking pain killers after sustaining such a serious injury. I've got enough of that at home, thankyouverymuch, and realize the error of my ways. I am not, however, an illegal drug user, a doctor shopper, or even a long term "legal" addict. I am a well-educated, caring mom, with an ex who hates me for leaving him.
I think that you should stop even thinking that you made any errors. You had no way of knowing that you would become dependent on the medication and need help to get off of it.

I recently was prescribed vicodin for a back problem and after reading so many threads on forums like these about people who got addicted to pain meds I was very reluctant take the meds, and threw them away after I had gotten through the worst of it...when I should have kept them in case I needed them again. I have suffered an occasionally very bad day since then, when I could have had some relief.

In any case, you absolutely cannot let dad deny any of your scheduled parenting time. You need to show up wherever you are to show up to pick up your child, and if dad denies you, you need to take him to court for contempt.
 
Wow well my ex was found in contempt of court once last year and this year she was not because my attorney was not prepared. :( But I dont see why it has to be 2x in 3 years. My ex kept over 12 thursdays and 3 months of weekends from me so if its something big like that. My attorney thought contempt would be our 1st thing before a mod. I still think I have good grounds for a mod.


My advice to you is make sure you have alll documetation of what he is doing. He is supposed to allow you time and you need to take it and if he rufuses make a police report or take a picture or make a video. Anything you can to prove it.
 

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