I went without visitation since October 2007. I have always sent the children birthday cards, Christmas, Easter and Halloween cards and "just because I love you" cards which I do not think have been given to the kids.
Yes, I had my order in my hands when I showed up for visitation. I might add that I did not just wake up one morning and say I have visitation tomorrow. I have been asking for about 6 weeks.
As all of this began to happen, the guardians have taken every advantage to berate, belittle, etc. and my personality does not handle it well. I always said I had "Irish Guilt" (feeling guilty when I haven't done anything wrong.) I went to therapy for over a year to try to learn to deal with mean people because of all of this and finally realized that they could only hurt me if I allowed it. I wish I knew that 40-50 years ago.
Events that lead up to not continuing my visits: The guardians called the state police to my home during our last visit because my granddaughter accused my son and his wife of slapping her. It didn't happen. My daughter-in-law called her mother from her cell phone to find out why the granddaughter was having such a tantrum. She refused to let the guardians speak to me. They could have and should have called me on my home or cell phone. It tore my heart out to see my granddaughter being questioned by the police. If that was not enough, the guardians file a complaint with DSS and then took me to court to terminate my visits...didn't happen. I got sick. My work was suffering because I had to take weekends off to have the visitations and the guardians accused me of going to work when I had the kids! Etc, etc. etc. During my visitation I am supposed to supervise my son and his wife. I did the best I could. I needed a break and admit that I may have gone about it in the wrong way, but I do think my grandchildren deserve to have me a part of their lives.
My son and daughter-in-law are getting back on their feet. They have a nice home for the kids to come back too. Both are working. Neither are using drugs or drinking. But the guardians refuse to give the kids back. I do not doubt that the guardians are telling the children bad things about everyone.
Why am I more synical...because I believed that people do right but the guardians have taught me that some people do whatever they can (good, bad, illegal or bending the law) to get what they want.
It is just sad for the children.