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  1. #1
    dsp2008 is offline Junior Member
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    Contempt for not having visitation?

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Massachusetts

    I have an every other weekend court order for visitation with my grandchildren who are in the guardianship of the maternal grandparents.

    My question is can I be held in contempt for NOT picking up the children for court ordered visits with me?
  2. #2
    TheGeekess is offline Senior Member
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    No, visitation is a right, not a requirement. However, by not taking your visitations, you are leaving yourself open to losing what you have if Maternal GPs decide to file for a modification.
  3. #3
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    If you didn't want to see the kids, why did you fight for visitation? 'Cause as a grandparent, you'd have had to do so. It makes no sense.
  4. #4
    dsp2008 is offline Junior Member
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    Visitation rights

    I fought for the right to have visitation with my grandchildren. I love them and I miss them very much. I know that they love me also and miss me.

    The guardians aka maternal grandparents have done and said many horrible things about me and my family. I believe they are encouraging my grandchildren to lie about things happening while in my care. It may be that the guardians are saying that the children said something that they didn't actually say. Some one is lying because I know the truth. The guardians are very good at making people believe what they say.

    I have been asking them to see the children but they refused. I recently found out that I still have a visitation order. (The guardians told me it was no longer valid!) Knowing them they will come up with some reason to take me back to court to block the visitation. They have done it before...twice. I have also been calling to speak to my grandchildren but they don't pick up the phone or call me back when I ask.

    I have told them I will be there to pick up the children for visitation next week. If they do not let me or are not home, I now know I can file for contempt (Did not know that a year ago and I am not sure that the judge would agree with what I consider verbal abuse and interferring with my visitations). I am stronger now and more synical!
    :-)
  5. #5
    dsp2008 is offline Junior Member
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    Filed for contempt

    I have filed contempt against the guardians. I emailed them to let them know this and to give them an "out" (Probably would have dropped the charges if they agreed to my request). They did not.

    I went to pick up the kids today because they did not respond to the email I sent last night asking them to let me know...I said I would pressume they agreed if they did not respond to the email. They did not.

    I arrived at the time I said I would and after sitting in my car, beeping the horn and calling the house from my cell phone, they finally showed up at the door telling me that they did not give me permission to take the kids and handing me the original Petition for Guardianship dated 10/06. Says nothing about my visitation order which was granted 2/07.

    The hearing for contempt is not until the end of November. Should I keep asking for visitation? Should I file more contempt each time they refuse? Is there some way to get the court date sooner?

    Thank you all.
  6. #6
    BL
    BL is offline Senior Member
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    I have been asking them to see the children but they refused. I recently found out that I still have a visitation order.
    Just how long did you go without visitations , or to try to enforce your visitations ?

    Petition for Guardianship dated 10/06. Says nothing about my visitation order which was granted 2/07.
    Did you have your order in hand ?

    I am stronger now and more synical
    What is that suppose to mean ?

    That by their " alleged " derogatory talk , you did not show to exercise your visits for quite a period of time ?
  7. #7
    dsp2008 is offline Junior Member
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    I went without visitation since October 2007. I have always sent the children birthday cards, Christmas, Easter and Halloween cards and "just because I love you" cards which I do not think have been given to the kids.

    Yes, I had my order in my hands when I showed up for visitation. I might add that I did not just wake up one morning and say I have visitation tomorrow. I have been asking for about 6 weeks.

    As all of this began to happen, the guardians have taken every advantage to berate, belittle, etc. and my personality does not handle it well. I always said I had "Irish Guilt" (feeling guilty when I haven't done anything wrong.) I went to therapy for over a year to try to learn to deal with mean people because of all of this and finally realized that they could only hurt me if I allowed it. I wish I knew that 40-50 years ago.

    Events that lead up to not continuing my visits: The guardians called the state police to my home during our last visit because my granddaughter accused my son and his wife of slapping her. It didn't happen. My daughter-in-law called her mother from her cell phone to find out why the granddaughter was having such a tantrum. She refused to let the guardians speak to me. They could have and should have called me on my home or cell phone. It tore my heart out to see my granddaughter being questioned by the police. If that was not enough, the guardians file a complaint with DSS and then took me to court to terminate my visits...didn't happen. I got sick. My work was suffering because I had to take weekends off to have the visitations and the guardians accused me of going to work when I had the kids! Etc, etc. etc. During my visitation I am supposed to supervise my son and his wife. I did the best I could. I needed a break and admit that I may have gone about it in the wrong way, but I do think my grandchildren deserve to have me a part of their lives.

    My son and daughter-in-law are getting back on their feet. They have a nice home for the kids to come back too. Both are working. Neither are using drugs or drinking. But the guardians refuse to give the kids back. I do not doubt that the guardians are telling the children bad things about everyone.

    Why am I more synical...because I believed that people do right but the guardians have taught me that some people do whatever they can (good, bad, illegal or bending the law) to get what they want.

    It is just sad for the children.
  8. #8
    BL
    BL is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dsp2008 View Post
    I went without visitation since October 2007. I have always sent the children birthday cards, Christmas, Easter and Halloween cards and "just because I love you" cards which I do not think have been given to the kids.

    Yes, I had my order in my hands when I showed up for visitation. I might add that I did not just wake up one morning and say I have visitation tomorrow. I have been asking for about 6 weeks.

    As all of this began to happen, the guardians have taken every advantage to berate, belittle, etc. and my personality does not handle it well. I always said I had "Irish Guilt" (feeling guilty when I haven't done anything wrong.) I went to therapy for over a year to try to learn to deal with mean people because of all of this and finally realized that they could only hurt me if I allowed it. I wish I knew that 40-50 years ago.

    Events that lead up to not continuing my visits: The guardians called the state police to my home during our last visit because my granddaughter accused my son and his wife of slapping her. It didn't happen. My daughter-in-law called her mother from her cell phone to find out why the granddaughter was having such a tantrum. She refused to let the guardians speak to me. They could have and should have called me on my home or cell phone. It tore my heart out to see my granddaughter being questioned by the police. If that was not enough, the guardians file a complaint with DSS and then took me to court to terminate my visits...didn't happen. I got sick. My work was suffering because I had to take weekends off to have the visitations and the guardians accused me of going to work when I had the kids! Etc, etc. etc. During my visitation I am supposed to supervise my son and his wife. I did the best I could. I needed a break and admit that I may have gone about it in the wrong way, but I do think my grandchildren deserve to have me a part of their lives.

    My son and daughter-in-law are getting back on their feet. They have a nice home for the kids to come back too. Both are working. Neither are using drugs or drinking. But the guardians refuse to give the kids back. I do not doubt that the guardians are telling the children bad things about everyone.

    Why am I more synical...because I believed that people do right but the guardians have taught me that some people do whatever they can (good, bad, illegal or bending the law) to get what they want.

    It is just sad for the children.
    You do realize that it's been almost a year without exercising your visits ?

    Even though they are a right and not a requirement , things change in a year .

    If you current visitations are upheld by the court , you will probably face more of the same " alleged " attitudes .

    Your best bet if the visits resume , is to pick up and drop off at the curb , or such without exiting you vehicle .

    How old are the children ?
  9. #9
    dsp2008 is offline Junior Member
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    The kids are 8 and almost 6.

    I did pick up and drop off at the curb. One day however after several months of this, Mr. Guardian came storming out the side door of the house and said something to the effect of they weren't going to have this anymore. How rude it was of me to have the kids come to the car. And that the children could run out into the street. (They live on a very quiet secondary road with hardly any traffic.) Well, I always got out of the car when I saw the children come out the door and got them before they could get near to the road. Mr. Guardian also said this was all my fault. Well, I think he meant that Ms. Guardian was having a bad day and probably crabbing at him to do something about it (Having us come to get the kids). One time when my husband was on the phone talking to one of the kids he could hear her in the back ground saying that she didn't want these a**holes calling anymore.

    Sad thing is that these people should not have the kids. I think that she drinks (starts early in the day according to my daughter-in-law), told DSS this but they did not want to hear it, and smokes around the kids. They and their stuff toys smell of smoke. If they are constantly getting sick it could be from second hand smoke not my dog.

    I have also been accused of not giving the kids their medication, taking them swimming after being told that one of the kids had an ear infection, leaving the keys in my car, not watching and one of them starting it and putting it into gear! All of it not true but striking at the very core of my "grandmotherness". I love those kids and would not do anything to put them in harms way.

    One of the reasons to stop exercising my right to visitation was also because the kids were being put in the middle of a very adult situation. It was obvious by comments made by the children that they were being told of the court hearings. One of the children told my husband that Ms. Guardian had a "special meeting" with her right after they got home from visitation. During this meeting she told Ms. Guardian about everything that happened! (or not!) They are very sick people.

    I am sure that things will continue as it had previously but like I said I am a different person and wil not allow what is said about me hurt me. I will do what I can to encourage my grandchildren to be honest, and not tell stories in the most loving and caring way possible.

    Previously, I stepped back hoping that all of the parties involved would resolve some of the issues they had with each other. It was for several months and after that the judge gave me visitation. I can't imagine that it would be any different. I know that it has been several months but thinking back to when I was a little girl I saw my grandparents once every two or three years because we did not live near any of them. I have very fond memories of my visits. I know that my grandchildren have very fond memories of coming to my house and would like to come back...
  10. #10
    wileybunch is offline Senior Member
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    Mr. Guardian needs to get back in line. Proceed with contempt motion as planned and get it in the order that the parties do pick up/drop off as you had been doing, but now it will be part of the order. Also, let judge know that it seems they aren't passing on gifts and cards. See what they say. But, if you are exercising visitation regularly, you won't need to pass things through them, you can do it when you have the kids. Make sure you request make up time for the missed visits ie. an extra weekend a month for a year. That will only make up half the time, but the court can't remedy the whole year's worth at this point. Also make sure to request attorney's fees and any other relief the court deems necessary.
  11. #11
    dsp2008 is offline Junior Member
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    We all (my son, daughter-in-law, me, my husband, the children's uncles, my friends and great-grandma) hope, that in December the judge will see that my son and daughter-in-law have made the necessary changes to get the children back. I also hope that she sees how the guardians lied and manipulated the situation in order to get custody of the children in the first place.

    Thank you for your input!

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