Controlling grandparents

[obamagirl43]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
North Carolina/New York - I am the mother of a 16yo boy who relocated from NY to NC two yrs ago. The father/paternal grandparents currently resides in NY....my situation is the paternal grandparents. I have residental custody which was granted to me 05/08. The courts instructed the boy would spend the summers in NY with his father/grandparents and the schoolyear in NC with me. Currently, the father/paternal grandparents have not allowed my son to come home as stated by the court. Are they in comtempt of the court decision and can I get an order of protection against them? By the way.....my son has a law guardian and wants to stay in NY. The court clerk has stated to both parties it would be a very, very long process to change residental custody and considering the boy is 16. (Well, you know the rest of the story). Its the hoilday weekend and I need advice. (Not married)

 

[Isis1]

whne has school started in your district?

if your son has not been returned to you by that date, then yes dad is in contempt. you may need to get an order of enforcement from the court. this means you may have to file an ex-parte hearing.

because of your schedule, is it safe to assume you left the state of NY with permission of the court?

you may need to get to NY immediately.

 

[obamagirl43]

School started Aug. 25......father has given permission to leave NY. Can I get an order of protection against the grandparents when I go to court.

 

[CourtClerk]

School started Aug. 25......father has given permission to leave NY. Can I get an order of protection against the grandparents when I go to court.

First of all, does the court order specifically say that summers are with dad AND the grandparents?

Second, why get an order of protection against the grandparents? Why isn't dad responsible for returning the child? If you have to pick between who is at fault between grandparents and the parents... unless the child's father is still a minor (and even if he's still a minor)... DAD is dad and makes the decisions.

 

[BL]

How can your son now have a law guardian ?

Law guardian's are usually appointed ( when a court matter is in the process of being heard ) .

Has Dad/grands filed in NY for change in Custodial Parent ?

 

[obamagirl43]

Yes, the order states the child spents the summer with dad and/or grands. Dad & I have allowed our son to stay with the paternal grandparents during the summer and holidays (Xmas/Thanksgiving) for 10+yrs w/o a court order for the opportunity of visiting the grandparents.

Secondly, the protection/restraining order is because they have alot of influence over their son/grandson.

The case was heard in court (02/08)....child was appointed law guardian then. Havent received summons to appear in court by dad or grands for change in custodial parent.

 

[BL]

Then you need to instruct them to return the child as per court order , or you will file contempt .

Also , has the child been enrolled in a NY school ?

If you're unsure , contact your school district , to see if a NY school has been forwarded any records for enrollment .

If not , that is neglect , and CPS is possibly an avenue to get them to return the child .

 

[LdiJ]

Take your court orders. Go to NY. Contact the police to assist you in picking up the child. Go to the grandparents home with the police. Retrieve your child.

If the police are unable or unwilling to assist. Go to court in NY, ask for an emergency pickup order and ask the judge to order the police to assist you in retrieving the child. Go to the grandparent's home and pick up your child.

Be prepared to put your seriously pissed off teenager in counseling immediately.

 

[obamagirl43]

Thank you to everyone who gave advice.....I didnt know who to turn to.

I will be on the steps of NY Family Court on Tues morning.

Again, thank you.

By the way.....great idea with the counseling.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Having gone thru this last year:
1. Try the pickup with the police first. The police cannot force the issue, but can provide "assistance" just in their presence. Have your court order handy. I actually had everything faxed to the police first hand.

2. When you do the pickup, if you have a 4-door car, put the child lock "on" so that the car doesn't open from the inside. Helps in the first 15 minutes of "pissed off."

3. If the pickup doesn't work, then get your ex parte order for pickup. In addition, file for contempt. Ask for:
a. all costs involved in the pickup - drive/fly/whatever
b. tolls & gas
c. any additional costs you have, such as filing fees
d. food
e. lodging
f. make sure that there is a by-date for when you have to be reimbursed
g. ask for a bond for future visits so that if there are any more problems, you can use that for your legal fees
h. if you have an attorney, also ask for attorney fees.

4. If you have to have him served, make sure that it is someone else who serves him. I had the police serve him. I had to bring those to court as proof of serve.

It took two orders from the judge to get my daughter. Daddy got to sit in jail till child was produced. We left the court house with a reluctant child (she had been promised a horseback riding weekend), but one we were in the car and gone, it was okay. I was peeved that she saw dad in handcuffs, but oh well. It was his bad choice.

You can PM me if you have questions.

 

[BL]

Please post back on this thread and let us know how it all turns out .

 

[obamagirl43]

Controlling Grandparents

Again, thanks for all the advice......I really appreciate all of you who responsed. I will be in court on Tues (09/02) & I will post back asap.

I will take all the advice I received and use it wisely.

The advice on counseling is brillant.

And yes, "pissed off" my son will be.