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Court Ordered Counseling

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What is the name of your state? Missouri

She has denied visits. Refuses to speak to him on the phone. Barely answers email and it finally all came to a head in court. The judge has now ordred a psychological evaluation of my fiance's children. Can we trust that this evaluator will see through any lies she puts in the children's head. They are in Missouri. We are in Philadelphia. She has more than two years to manipulate them. (That's how long this has dragged out between the two courts)

She now also responded to one of his emails...filling it with language about how she's glad he finally took an interest in the children...and claiming that the lines of communication were open all along. This only happened because the judge said yesterday that if they can't communicate...he's award sole legal and physical custody to one of them. We have some paper trail of Dwayne's attempts to communicate with her...but not a lot. Can she get away with this if it will come down to he said/she said or will her denying him visits be enough for her to lose credibility?

Dwayne does have a detailed phone log of his nightly attempts to call his children. The issue is she is claiming she would always talk to him. She doesn't return calls. Barely answers emails. He once again asked for a report card and she claims now this is his first attempt. Can she get away with this so easilY?
 


Ambr

Senior Member
From personal experience.....emails are not the best evidence in the world. In all honesty, without an expert to verify information. (such as the IP address that accesses the email account, who it belongs to, etc.) You can not prove that emails belong to a specific individual. You can't prove the ex received it, you can't prove the ex responded and you can't prove the emails were "tampered with" after receipt.

If you are lucky enough to get a judge that is familiar with computers and emails, you might be able to get them looked at. But they will take the fact that you can't verify anything into consideration. In all honesty, I would be impressed if you could get them admitted.

Oh yeah....almost forgot....if dad has the school information, he can send a letter to the school (with a copy of the divorce papers) and request to be added to the school records. He can also request that copys of report cards, notes that are sent to other parent, etc are sent to him as well. Some schools will choice to do it in a weekly mailing, (if it is not important) or you could check and see if the teacher has an email where you could correspond back and forth.

This would be the quickest way to get information on the child about school and also brings in an "un-biased" witness that the father is trying everything possible to be involved in the child's life.
 
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casa

Senior Member
difficult3 said:
What is the name of your state? Missouri

She has denied visits. Refuses to speak to him on the phone. Barely answers email and it finally all came to a head in court. The judge has now ordred a psychological evaluation of my fiance's children. Can we trust that this evaluator will see through any lies she puts in the children's head. They are in Missouri. We are in Philadelphia. She has more than two years to manipulate them. (That's how long this has dragged out between the two courts)

She now also responded to one of his emails...filling it with language about how she's glad he finally took an interest in the children...and claiming that the lines of communication were open all along. This only happened because the judge said yesterday that if they can't communicate...he's award sole legal and physical custody to one of them. We have some paper trail of Dwayne's attempts to communicate with her...but not a lot. Can she get away with this if it will come down to he said/she said or will her denying him visits be enough for her to lose credibility?

Dwayne does have a detailed phone log of his nightly attempts to call his children. The issue is she is claiming she would always talk to him. She doesn't return calls. Barely answers emails. He once again asked for a report card and she claims now this is his first attempt. Can she get away with this so easilY?
I've heard both horror and success stories re; court ordered evaluations. In the majority of cases I believe it to be a valuable tool to discover the emotional fitness of the parents. In my own case, it was a lifesaver.

The difficulty here is that the children have not had consistent contact with their father in 2 years.

The father should cooperate fully and take any requested psychological testing and just continue to tell the truth.

I'm not sure about Missouri specifically- in my state of CA I had no problem getting email admitted in court. I did, however, have an IT professional ready and willing to give sworn testimony that the ISP and identification was and could be proven to belong to the nuttyX. The bad news is, even if it's admitted- it's just correspondence and it didn't carry a LOT of weight in court, because parents in custody battles often get emotional &/or angry.

The phone records should be submitted. The mother can say she always answered, but the time limit of the call will demonstrate he had no substantial conversation. Is there an aswering maching picking up? If no answering machine is picking up, try calling from a cellphone so at least you have the call log of the number being dialed.

The school records can be requested by the father, even if he is the NCP. Contact the school and ask for them. He may or may not be asked to pay for copy costs. Worth the peace of mind though.
 
So it sounds like they are going to get down to a he/said she/said battle. What can he do to help his cause? I only have extensive phone records from the last few months. He mostly called from his old work cell phone and we can't get those records. Will that be enough?

December shows dozens of calls...including Christmas and Christmas Eve where he only left a message and she never called back.
 

casa

Senior Member
difficult3 said:
So it sounds like they are going to get down to a he/said she/said battle. What can he do to help his cause? I only have extensive phone records from the last few months. He mostly called from his old work cell phone and we can't get those records. Will that be enough?

December shows dozens of calls...including Christmas and Christmas Eve where he only left a message and she never called back.
Who paid the work cellphone bill? Whoever that person is, can request a statement.

All of it will help- be consistent.
 
difficult3 said:
What is the name of your state? Missouri

She has denied visits. Refuses to speak to him on the phone. Barely answers email and it finally all came to a head in court. The judge has now ordred a psychological evaluation of my fiance's children. Can we trust that this evaluator will see through any lies she puts in the children's head. They are in Missouri. We are in Philadelphia. She has more than two years to manipulate them. (That's how long this has dragged out between the two courts)

She now also responded to one of his emails...filling it with language about how she's glad he finally took an interest in the children...and claiming that the lines of communication were open all along. This only happened because the judge said yesterday that if they can't communicate...he's award sole legal and physical custody to one of them. We have some paper trail of Dwayne's attempts to communicate with her...but not a lot. Can she get away with this if it will come down to he said/she said or will her denying him visits be enough for her to lose credibility?

Dwayne does have a detailed phone log of his nightly attempts to call his children. The issue is she is claiming she would always talk to him. She doesn't return calls. Barely answers emails. He once again asked for a report card and she claims now this is his first attempt. Can she get away with this so easilY?
If the children are in missouri and you are in Philadelphia who moved away from who? A judge might see the person who moved as trying to limit contact.
 
She moved to shack up with a rich boyfriend who is now her husband.,

As for the old phone bill....the company he used to work for paid the phone bills. We tried to get the records before and they won't give them to us.
 

flyby004

Junior Member
I am in Mo.

I had the same problem but we both live in Mo. Here is how I solved the problem and it has worked.

Certified Mail and request a signed receipt from your ex. If ex refuses the letter and has not moved, that can be brought into evidence. My ex got in big trouble for "lack of communication with other parent".

Also, always use your own cell phone. The records will indicate how long each call was for. If you can't afford a cell phone get one of those prepaid cell phones and only use it for the purpose of communication with the children. It is well worth the cost.

My ex lost custody due to this. Good luck
 
Do you have an attorney? If not I would get one....An attorney may be able to get the cell phone records for you from the previous employer through a court order :D Just a thought.....
 
Yes...we have an attorney and a cell phone. That's why our records are great for December and January. He will attempt to get the ones from the employer.

She is claiming that he won't communicate with her. How can we prove it? It's a little late for certified letters.
 
difficult3 said:
Yes...we have an attorney and a cell phone. That's why our records are great for December and January. He will attempt to get the ones from the employer.

She is claiming that he won't communicate with her. How can we prove it? It's a little late for certified letters.
When she initially moved how was visitation to be set up? I have read a lot of cases on this board where the person who moved is normally the one driving the children for visits...........Was the move contested? or was she allowed to move without a word from your husband?
 
In a total state of depression....he let her move to Missouri. Signed an agreement she wrote up. Nothing went through the courts.

They never had a custody agreement. It has been dragged out for two years. Now it's finally coming to an end and she has resorted to lies to get full legal and physical custody.
 

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