CP jailed, plan B?

[Ronin]

So you're saying I can notify CP and let her know that her ex husband should take the boy to her place, 300 miles away? I can't see cooperation from either one of them there. Are you also saying that if they say no, they are in contempt? What if the boy does not want to... fly.

No.

Assuming CPS does not have a court proceeding against the mother, AND you have court ordered visitation, you are going to have to do your best to accomodate the situation here, even though this is not "your fault".

What this means is you notify the mother of your intent to pick your child up at your designated time. And that you are willing to pick the child up at whatever location is most practical under the circumstances. If there are issues with flying, then drive if you have to, especially given the child is much closer at this time.

If mom refuses or does not do her best to faciliate this, since the current situation is of her own doing, then you may have grounds to file for contempt against her. As CJane stated, you cannot file contempt against the caregiver.

[CJane]

I'm a little confused.

I read through your history, and it seems that in October, you stated you'd finally had visitation w/the kiddo at a hotel in his area.

Prior to that, you said he'd never visited your home.

In 6 years, how much contact have you actually had with the child?

Did the "shooting/prancing" incident take place at the most recent visit?

[TheGeekess]

Originally Posted by my life is mine

Does anyone wonder why he keeps referring to his son as "the boy"?

Mine is The Child.... I don't have a problem with what he's calling his son.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by CJane

OG, I really don't think there IS a CPS case at this point. I think they just stepped in to transfer the boy to another adult caregiver when Mom was arrested. Doesn't sound TO ME like they have any further involvement.

Then everything is what it would be. And I agree that enforcement woudl be against mom for interference and that he needs to file for custody. But then I ask, why is he still speaking to CPS?

[CJane]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Then everything is what it would be. And I agree that enforcement woudl be against mom for interference and that he needs to file for custody. But then I ask, why is he still speaking to CPS?

Because I don't think he has the first clue what is happening, or what the correct thing to do is at this point.

He has virtually NO relationship with this child, and Mom hasn't been CONVICTED of anything yet.

His attorney isn't much help from what I've read in past threads, but Dad has made so many mistakes, my head spins.

I really don't think he has a shot at custody right now, if ever, just because of the past mistakes, his inability to understand clearly what is happening, and his lack of relationship with the child.

[paterunum]

Originally Posted by CJane

Look, you can't file contempt against THEM. A 3rd party cannot be in violation of the order.

What EXACTLY does the order state regarding visitation?

And here's my advice to you. You come off here as if you're grasping at straws and have no idea what it is you're trying to accomplish... and that's lining your attorney's pockets, but it's not helping YOU and it's not in your kid's best interests.

You need to sit down and breathe. And then figure out exactly what you want to accomplish not only RIGHT NOW, but long term. What is best for the child RIGHT NOW and long term? What is best for YOU? What is best for MOM?

What is your attorney pushing? Why?

Do you want residential custody? Or just to be able to enforce your visitation?

Do you want to spend the next 16 years in court, fighting with Mom over every little thing, no matter WHO has custody?

Seriously. You're not doing your case or your child any good when you're focused on how to "Win" this thing, or coming up with a better plan B. You're just not.

CJane, you are correct. I am wandering, and I am grateful to you guys for trying to bring me back on track. It is true that, after I have been accused of all the most unspeakable crimes, from pedophilia to actually trying to kill my child (my child, my son, my boy, please, give me a break on that: there's a reason why a chose the nickname "pater unum" - he's my only son, and probably will stay that way), after finally CP tried with all she could to damage my career, my attention HAS been diverted to self-defense. And that is sad.

Is my son my priority? What do you think? What are you suggesting? That I should have stopped trying? I am not the one who dragged this on. As far as I was concerned, this should have been settled immediately with visitation schedules etc. But CP is simply not mentally stable, but she's rational enough to think that she can do this and get away with it. At this point, I AM conflicted between these two concerns: 1) I am accused of crimes that are punishable with severe jail term (but fortunately, so far, PD concluded the charges were unfounded -.. and that might NOT have happened without my efforts to show the contrary evidence) 2) I am sick worried that my child will be in the hands of an unstable woman.

Some cynical friend told me: "think just about #1 and get the hell out of this mess - just pay your CS and forget about enforcing anything; she will just make things worse". It seems to me that, if I don't try enforcement now, THAT will be the result.

Plan A or Plan B (temp custody or just enforcement of visitations) are suggestions I am calling for just based on what most experts will think is realistic and wise for me and my son.

What is "good for my son in the long term" you're saying? I am convinced that from a "moral standpoint" and a "safety standpoint", it is to be with me. But I have to face the realities of the "legal standpoint", and, as all of you are suggesting here, all enforcement + courts give priority to reuniting the child with CP, especially when the child has had minimal contact with NCP, and especially when NCP does not have "overwhelming" evidence of CP's wrongdoing with the child. Now, the fact that CP and now her ex husband pressed charges of pedophilia, no matter how dismissed those charges are by PD or CPS, will also make a judge think twice before sending the child to the "unknown". Can a judge see through them? I don't know.

So, it seems to me that I need to really press hard to show how outlandish and slanderous those charges are, what a good environment the child would have here, and how, in the long term, life with dad will be also safer and more practical (I have a secure job, seriously, I am lucky in that sense, [ basically, I can lose it only if I commit a crime, of course, and that's where CP has tried to damage me] - CP loses jobs every six months or so)

It's a stable job, but not highly rewarded, and this case has indeed dried up my finances. So, I'm at the point where I'm broke, and that is another consideration: I have no choice but fight on, but must also find a way to make this affordable. My child is not going to benefit from a broke dad. (as far as I know, mom must be broke too - ex husband instead is wealthy, which makes me fear that HE might end up adopting the child, given CP's erratic conduct and drinking problem).

My atty. has, yes, dragged this on, though cutting me some slack on legal fees. But I do see a vested interest in his "two steps" approach (try temp custody first, and you will have a better chance to get custody in the final hearing): I said I'm skeptical, but I'm not at the point of firing him. he knows the case, has been on it for five years.

[Ronin]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Then everything is what it would be. And I agree that enforcement would be against mom for interference and that he needs to file for custody. But then I ask, why is he still speaking to CPS?

Indeed, why is he still speaking to CPS? Unless CPS contacts dad, he should promptly stop any unsolicited communications with this agency.

If mom is expected to be in jail for an extended period of time, and dad is actually able to obtain physical possession of his child for his period of visitation, he just might consider filing for an emergency temporary order in his home state.

Such an action should only be handled by a strong family law attorney experienced in these types of matters, and after careful consideration of all the facts. If such an attorney says this is not a good idea, then dad should listen and drop it.

Any attempt to take such an action as a pro se or with weak legal representation, will almost surely backfire with undesirable consequences.

[paterunum]

Originally Posted by CJane

I'm a little confused.

I read through your history, and it seems that in October, you stated you'd finally had visitation w/the kiddo at a hotel in his area.

Prior to that, you said he'd never visited your home.

In 6 years, how much contact have you actually had with the child?

Did the "shooting/prancing" incident take place at the most recent visit?

The child has never been in my area. I compromised with CP, visiting in their area, after she said the child would NOT fly. CO contemplates only flight arrangements, but also states that I can visit in the area (BUT NOTHING on driving the child on a long trip: the way my atty. and I were trying to modify is by breaking the trip in two, having mom drive 1/3 of the distance, me spending the first night somewhere in the vicinity, and then driving to my home - of course only for long term visits)

Little contact over six years because of obstruction from CP (certainly not lack of trying on my part) including change of address without providing forward notice (and staying "hidden for two years total). And, as stated in previous postings, each time I was "detached" from the child for over a year, the judges ordered the first three visitations supervised, to be followed by reg. visit schedule. By the time we got to that term for regular visit., CP would manage to find ways out. After almost each of my few unsupervised visits, she reported me to CPS.

"The dart shooting" incident was during the last visit, yes.

In your latest post below you mention I made so many "mistakes your head spins". I would appreciate if you were more specific. I won't take it personally, I'm here to learn.

[paterunum]

Originally Posted by Ronin

Indeed, why is he still speaking to CPS? Unless CPS contacts dad, he should promptly stop any unsolicited communications with this agency.

If mom is expected to be in jail for an extended period of time, and dad is actually able to obtain physical possession of his child for his period of visitation, he just might consider filing for an emergency temporary order in his home state.

Such an action should only be handled by a strong family law attorney experienced in these types of matters, and after careful consideration of all the facts. If such an attorney says this is not a good idea, then dad should listen and drop it.

Any attempt to take such an action as a pro se or with weak legal representation, will almost surely backfire with undesirable consequences.

Yes, about the "unsolicited" communications. I did so yesterday, and they told me they could NOT tell me if there was a case against me, and that I should wait for their call. I realized that my solicitation might seem too "alarmed" (which I am, because the ex husband is a much more reliable reporter that the mom). So, after that, I'm just sitting tight.

I can file in my state? Really? While having the child with me? How would an atty. in my area have jurisdiction, or "trump" jurisdiction in TX? And might that not look like "slipping in" something to "detain" the child away from mom?

It's a fact now that I'm not going pro se. "weak" legal repr. you're saying. Maybe. keep in mind that, currently, CP is pro se. I predict though that her ex husband would hire a good atty. if this should go to temp custody matters.

[Ronin]

Consult with a family law attorney in your area experienced with UCCJEA matters.

[CJane]

You would screw yourself beyond belief if you attempted to get the child into your area for "visitation" and then attempted to file in your state for anything at all.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by CJane

You would screw yourself beyond belief if you attempted to get the child into your area for "visitation" and then attempted to file in your state for anything at all.

I agree. That is a total no-no.

I do still have some concern that we don't have a clear cut picture regarding CPS's involvement with mom and CPS placing the child with the ex husband. I am not sure that the OP has a clear cut picture either.

CJane may be right and CPS just facilitated a transfer, or there is still the chance that CPS is more involved than that (not even taking into consideration the possible molestation accusation). However, OP's attorney should be able to get that clarified for the OP.

[Ronin]

Originally Posted by CJane

You would screw yourself beyond belief if you attempted to get the child into your area for "visitation" and then attempted to file in your state for anything at all.

This cannot be presumed or determined without an attorney first reviewing the facts in this case.

This should not be an attempt to pull a fast one on the mother and take custody from her. Through her own actions she is currently jailed for an undetermined amount of time and unable to care for the child.

She has sent the child 300 miles away to an ex-husband who is not the legal father or a conservator. An emergency order, if granted, should only be conditioned upon the father returning the child to the mother as soon as she is in a position to care for her child again.

While in some situations this may be a viable course of action, for many reasons it does not appear very likely in this case.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Ronin

This cannot be presumed or determined without an attorney first reviewing the facts in this case.

This should not be an attempt to pull a fast one on the mother and take custody from her. Through her own actions she is currently jailed for an undetermined amount of time and unable to care for the child.

She has sent the child 300 miles away to an ex-husband who is not the legal father or a conservator. An emergency order, if granted, should only be conditioned upon the father returning the child to the mother as soon as she is in a position to care for her child again.

While in some situations this may be a viable course of action, for many reasons it does not appear very likely in this case.

We are not talking about dad filing for anything. We are talking about dad attempting to file something in HIS state, when HIS state does not have jurisdiction. That is the huge no-no.

[Ronin]

I agree that in this context it is a huge no-no. It is not an emergency situation that would justify invoking that clause in UCCJEA.

A request for a hearing in the court which currently has jurisdiction is most appropriate.