crying for help....please

[jennthai]

What is the name of your state? CA

going thru divorce for a year now. have current custody orders 50/50 pysical and legal. it was an abusive marriage, which i never filed on him for unitl a week ago. I filed a temp restraining order on him monday and he was served wednesday. thursday he files a restaining order on me and has his friend serve me that thursday eve. bad thing is he used the kids and now i cannot get my share of custody until the hearing. he lied about 90 percent on the form. i have a boyfriend which we live together. kids really like him. that week ago the kids father had called me some foul names, slapped me and shoved me all in front of the children. My boyfriend was inside and saw this going on and he had came outside. the kids father stepped back and said "oh damn you got a knife?" which my boyfriend did not, neighbor to witness. the kids father always in my face starting trouble and i had it with him! so i filed the temp rest order. well bad thing is when he filed his rest order on me after he was served with mine he used the kids in it and has it where i cannot visit them until the hearing. he has covinced our 5 yr old that my boyfriend had a knife. my 8yr old says he doesnt want to be involved at all. i am fearful for the kids and of the father. what can i do?

 

[hexeliebe]

The first thing you do is calm down. Then go speak with an attorney. Give your attorney the name of the neighbor who witnessed the incident and can testify about the knife (or lack thereof).

Now why do you say you can't get custody of the children until the hearing? Is this written into the RO? If not is there some other order that requires you to stay away from the children?

 

[jennthai]

when he filed his retraining order he had also had the children listed as no visitation no contact whatso ever. that was done on a seperate form included with the restraining order. I am stuck here with not knowing what is going on with my children and i cannot get a lawyer who will help me asap.....

 

[hexeliebe]

I think there's more to this story.

 

[FJ1200guy]

Yeah that doesn't sound right... did you see the RO?

 

[jennthai]

the only thing that could be is my yougest son had spoke with my boyfriend and i stating that if my boyfriend spanks him that his dad was going to kick his a$$. when the childrens father came by my boyfriend had asked about that. and the father with an attitude like always said yeah i'll deal with you . my boyfriend told him that he wasnt going to lay a hand on him but he isnt going to let the lil 5 yr old get away with bad doings. he already just sends the kids to the room or take tv, radio or whatever to disipline them. the kids father had already threathned us that we are going to pay for this, he going to handle this with gangster sh*t, we have a beat down coming, he also had said the reason my boyfriend is alive is that he told his friends and brother not to kill him yet, etc etc. the list goes on. (which staements are done thru emails) the RO list that i am to have no visitation with the children. he also forwared that copy to the schools and i have talked with the schools and they said they have to abid by the paper work. ERGHHHH I am so fustrated. can he really get away with this? I have done nothing wrong with our children. only love them. will the courts really see the truth about him? Do i have a better chance?

 

[nextwife]

Your boyfriend spanks your kids?

 

[Holly Golightly]

Oh wow! Please don't allow your BOYFRIEND to discipline your children! Especially not physical punishment!!! Good grief, no wonder their father is angry!!! Those are HIS children, not your shack-up boyfriend's kids!

God, if it were my kids, I'd have them so fast your heads would spin!

 

[jennthai]

Please read it a little better. I NEVER said that he physically punished or spanked the children. He NEVER has and never will. please understand the chat before replying. i need real advice from a legal stand point not a morally correct one. Since the law is very literal please be so as well.

 

[stealth2]

It would be much easier to do that if you wrote a little more legibly.

 

[FJ1200guy]

Okay...

You say you have been going through a divorce for a year now. Why has it been taking so long?


When is the hearing? It may be best to bide your time until then... hard as it is to do.

What is the hold up with getting a lawyer? If it's cash, look into some sort of legal aid, or a lawyer that will take payments. Do some leg work. Because it seems to me this is a bit more complicated than normal, and info from this site may be limited...

Do whatever it takes to get a lawyer!

 

[jennthai]

divorce is taking long because he wants me to settle on his terms and cannot agree on something mutual. Trial is set for Feb. (so he says) I have found a bunch of lawyers. And so far I found a couple that seems pretty good, now its just coming up with the money. Just seeing what other info i might get from someone who was in the same type of situation. Thanks though for you input.