Custodial parent to move due to military orders needs help!

[KW0705]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Louisiana

I need help. I am a divorced mother serving in the military. In my divorce decree I was declared the designated custodial parent and my ex husband was granted resonable visitations. My ex husband lives one state over in Tx and I live in LA. The distance between us is about a 6 hour drive. In the last four years my ex's visitation with our child has been very spotty to say the least. He has come to LA to see our child a total of 3 times in the last four years. I have had many discussions with him concerning the lack of visitation to LA to see our child, only for him to tell me that it's just more conveinent for him to see our child when she goes to TX to visit my family. Which is not very often. Maybe once a year for a couple of weeks in the summer. Even then he has a problem driving the 50 miles to get her. He also does not send any birthday or Christmas gifts. In fact this past Christmas he didn't even call. He has never attended any birthday parties or anything. He does however pay child support but that had to be court ordered.

Now my problem is that I have recieved military orders to move out of the country. When I informed my ex husband he threatned to file a motion to have me banned from leaving the states. He also said that he will take me to court for custody. My question is does he have a case? What are the chances of me not being able to take our child to my new duty station with me? Any advice or help will be greatly appreciated.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[CJane]

How old is the child?

What country are you planning to relocate TO?

Are you deployable?

 

[KW0705]

I am going to Germany. My job usually does not deploy. I've been in 13 years and have yet to deploy. Although being in the military there's always a possibility.

 

[CJane]

How old is the child?

 

[KW0705]

She's 8 years old.

 

[ecmst12]

Who moved away originally?

Why isn't the child visiting dad at his home?

 

[KW0705]

He moved away originally. She does go to his home when he picks her up from my family's home in TX. I have even offered to drive and meet him half way if he ever wanted her to come to his home. He refuses saying that he doesn't want to drive the 3 hours and that his car uses too much gas.

 

[CJane]

What is the actual ordered visitation schedule?

 

[acmb05]

I am going to Germany. My job usually does not deploy. I've been in 13 years and have yet to deploy. Although being in the military there's always a possibility.

What is your job? The strategy of the wars are changing and your chances of deployment are going up every day.

 

[KW0705]

What is the actual ordered visitation schedule?

There was no ordered visitation schedule. My decree just says resonable visitations.

 

[KW0705]

What is your job? The strategy of the wars are changing and your chances of deployment are going up every day.

I definitely understand that. I maintain flyer's training folders. Making sure they keep up to date with their training requirements.

 

[KW0705]

I also like to add that I suggested that he gets her during the summer and alternate Christmas. I even offered to assist with the cost of getting her back to the US.

 

[CJane]

Generally speaking, a court will not deny the relocation of a child with the primary parent (and military moves are even less likely to be denied) unless it can be shown that the relocation is not in the child's best interests AND that the remaining parent is a suitable custodian for the child.

If it is as you say, and Dad has had such minimal contact with the child, and you could maintain the amount of contact he HAS had (for instance, sending kiddo back to your family for those 2 week visits in the summer and making her available to him) then it's likely that your relocation will be allowed.

However, that does NOT mean that you don't have to follow the proper procedure for notifying Dad of the pending relocation. And it does NOT mean that he can't file in court to prevent it and force a delay.

 

[KW0705]

Generally speaking, a court will not deny the relocation of a child with the primary parent (and military moves are even less likely to be denied) unless it can be shown that the relocation is not in the child's best interests AND that the remaining parent is a suitable custodian for the child.

If it is as you say, and Dad has had such minimal contact with the child, and you could maintain the amount of contact he HAS had (for instance, sending kiddo back to your family for those 2 week visits in the summer and making her available to him) then it's likely that your relocation will be allowed.

However, that does NOT mean that you don't have to follow the proper procedure for notifying Dad of the pending relocation. And it does NOT mean that he can't file in court to prevent it and force a delay.

Ok. I understand that. Thank you. Even though he hardly puts in an effort to see our daughter I still have every intent on making sure that she still maintains a relationship with her father and more than willing to send her back in the summer.

 

[CJane]

Ok. I understand that. Thank you. Even though he hardly puts in an effort to see our daughter I still have every intent on making sure that she still maintains a relationship with her father and more than willing to send her back in the summer.

Whether or not he makes an effort will affect his ability to prevent the relocation. However, make sure you keep the pathway open. You want to be able to tell your child that you did everything you could to encourage a relationship. (not today, obviously, but someday)

My sister just moved to Germany for a military contract position. We've discovered Skype, and she has a long distance plan that is $12.99/month for unlimited international calls (which, by the way, ticks me off because MY LD plan is $15.99/month for DOMESTIC unlimited), so she calls all of us on Saturday, and we Skype during the week if we're online at the same time.

While I'd never say it's like having her here, it's gone a long way towards my kids not missing the heck out of her and her son, and I'd imagine it will go a long way towards the youngest (he's almost 5) not forgetting who they are before they return in 3 years.