• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

custodial parent seeking advice re: noncustodial parent moving to be closer to child

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

JJT07

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA, but visitation established in NV

Hello all,

Basically, my title says it all. I have sole custody of my 3 year old son. The history of visitation on the part of his father is not good, and will often go months without contacting us. From the time my son was an infant, his father has had visitation two days (not overnights) per week, which he has been very inconsistent about electing. (Also, somewhat relevant, he has had 7 residences since my son was born, and at least as many jobs - sometimes even going 3-4 months unemployed)

Last summer, I petitioned the court to move out of state. At the time, I was living in NV and I requested to move to CA. After weighing all the factors, the court granted my request, stating that "the fathers child support record is poor and his visitation minimal during the past year". They granted him two weeks of visitation per year (one week at a time). In our mediation agreement, I agreed to allow him to visit his son every month provided he give me a weeks notice - he declined to sign the agreement and instead filed a motion for reconsideration. It was denied.

We moved 8 months ago and he has not taken advantage of his visitation. He has informed me of his intent to visit at least three times, and each time cancelled.

He recently informed me that he is moving to our city, and I am not sure how much visitation to give him. At least until we can get the case transfered and a modification hearing.

I'm planning on asking for limited visitation on a temporary basis until he shows some consistency (even when we lived in the same city, he'd go months without any contact). I am hesitant to go back to two days a week now that my son is a little more aware of what is going on. His father coming in and out of his life as he pleases is not in his best interest, in my opinion.

I realize that I will be bound by whatever the courts decide, but that is a long way off, and it would be wrong of me to insist on the previous courts ruling of two weeks until we can get a hearing.

I guess I'm just trying to figure out what would be fair under the circumstances, but is still something that I can feel comfortable with.

Oh, and when I asked him what prompted him to move here, he said he lost his job and that he "might as well".

So as far as visitation...any thoughts? I've been told be some people that I'm being unreasonable...and by others that I should stick to just the two weeks per year since its his own fault. I'm looking for a happy compromise until the proper authorities can assess the situation.

I apologize for this being so long!

Thank you in advance.
 


Zephyr

Senior Member
You don't need to give him any more than what is written in the court order. That being said, I don't think denying him visits will do you any favors in court if he were to request a modification.

I can tell you are worried about him being unreliable and all that but I think him relocating to your new town does show a good intent on his part to be involved in his child's life.

A lack of measurable success professionally does not necessarily indicate one couldn't be a good parent. And keep in mind, until the court order is changed all visits over and above the court order are at your discretion, maybe you and dad can work something out that makes you both comfortable.
 

PQN

Member
While you do not have to give him anything beyond the court order, it would be great to develop a strong co-parenting relationship. My father was the same now-you-see-him-now-you-don't kind of NCP. My mom simply did not tell us when he was coming so any time he showed up, she say "what a great surprise, look who came to see you" and if he no-showed, only she knew. No disappointment on our part for getting stood up by dad and we still got to see him as often as he chose.
 

sometwo

Senior Member
Moving closer to his child could be a step in the right direction for him. You just never know. Follow the court order. You don't have to allow more time than that . However remember if he is showing himself reliable it would only benefit the child to continue to improve that relationship.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I think that for the child's sake the two days a week (not overnights) starting out with very short visits would be good. Maybe two hours twice a week in your home, then two hours twice a week outside your home, then 4 hours, etc...phasing it up gradually to a standard schedule would be good, assuming that dad is consistant and keeps showing up.

Sticking to the court order means that dad can take the child for a week, twice a year, and being with a virtual stranger for a week could be traumatic for the child.
 
It sounds like jurisdiction is still in NV.
If your Ex does move to CA, then you can petition the NV court to transfer jurisdiction to your county.

Pro: Court is closer to you and more accessible. CA custody and child support laws apply. Each county has a family law facilitators office to help you fill out the correct forms.

Con: Moving out of county while dad lives there will be very difficult. You will have to read up and get familiar with CA and local (county) rules of court.

Good luck

Bird Brain
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top