Custodial Parent Wants to Move out of State

[icechic71]

What is the name of your state?California

I am a custodial parent of three children. Their father and I have joint custody of them and share visitation 60/40. According to our court papers I can move 100 miles from the county that I currently live in. I am wanting to move to Arizona to live with my Mother which is just over 400 miles away. I currently have no other family within 400 miles of where I live. I will also be better able to provide for my kids since the cost of living is so much less there. I have spoken to their father and he is not willing agree to a new visitation agreement. What are my chances of being able to move?

If I move 100 miles away our visitation agreement will have to change since we share weekdays. If the non-custodial parent is not willing to sign a new visitation agreement what are my next steps?

 

[snostar]

Read these:
https://forum.freeadvice.com/search.php?searchid=176161
the result of a simple search.

 

[icechic71]

Thanks for the info, it answered some of my questions. I guess my ultimate question is do I have to take him to court in order to move and is this something that an attorney's expertese is recommended or is this something most custodial parents handle on their own?

 

[stealth2]

Yes, you will have to take it to court if he won't agree to it (and really, since he seems to have a fair bit of parenting time - why WOULD he agree to it?). I personally wouldn't recommend trying it w/o an attorney.

Would it perhaps make more sense for your mother to come live with you? Best of both worlds, for the kids.

 

[nextwife]

That's what my MIL did after my hubby moved to my town so we could get married.

 

[VeronicaGia]

Since you and he have joint custody, I presume you'd have no problem if he took the child and moved to AZ or some other state, right?

If you'd have a problem with it, why wouldn't you think he'd have a problem with it?

And if the court does allow you to move with the child, be ready to pay for the visitation transportation.

 

[cas0496]

Since you and he have joint custody, I presume you'd have no problem if he took the child and moved to AZ or some other state, right?

If you'd have a problem with it, why wouldn't you think he'd have a problem with it?

And if the court does allow you to move with the child, be ready to pay for the visitation transportation.

And this answers the question how exactly????

It's quite obvious (after reading a lot of your posts) that you are quite opinionated. Perhaps you should save your opinion for someone that asks for it and try to answer the questions that are posted.

 

[Tinaa]

You share custody. Why should the father give up his time. Why don't you move and leave the kids? I'm sure the father will give you lots of visitation. Moving the kids away from their father is not in the best interest of the kids.

You'll have to go to court.
You'll need an attorney.
You'll probably lose.
Is it really worth it?

 

[nextwife]

Your children now see their dad 40% of the time. This is an order of the court.

If you wish to make plans trhat alter that situation it is up to you to figure out how to keep dad's time at 40%. If you can do that, you are more likely to get permission. But YOUR choice to relocate does not automatically mean you have the right to do so in a way that interferes with the existing CO.

Is your chose professional career one for which no job options in your area are likely to exist? There are some unique job fields in which there are limited markets. If you can demonstrate that employablity requires you to be in one of those markets, you may also have a good argument- if that is where you wish to move.

 

[Whyte Noise]

And this answers the question how exactly????

It's quite obvious (after reading a lot of your posts) that you are quite opinionated. Perhaps you should save your opinion for someone that asks for it and try to answer the questions that are posted.

It answers the question because the OP asked about moving. Increased transportation costs are part of that move. The court generally orders the moving parent (whether CP or NCP) to pay the additional costs. The parent that MOVES is creating the distance, not the parent that's staying. The parent that's staying put (whether CP or NCP) shouldn't have to foot the bill because the other parent decided to pick up and move. The court won't punish the parent left behind usually.

People post here asking for "opinions". That's the whole purpose of this forum. For others that have been through it to relate their experience and offer advice based on it.

As for VG asking about the OP having a problem if her ex decided to move 400 miles way....

If you wouldn't accept what you're offering if the shoe were on the other foot, then don't expect another human being to be satisfied with it either. It may not be law, but it's common sense.

 

[stealth2]

And this answers the question how exactly????

It's quite obvious (after reading a lot of your posts) that you are quite opinionated. Perhaps you should save your opinion for someone that asks for it and try to answer the questions that are posted.

It answers the question by suggesting that perhaps you put yourself in the shoes you intend to place your children's FATHER into - a visitor in the kids' lives. How would YOU like that place? If you wouldn't, then think twice before moving forward with your plan, as a judge may place you there.

 

[kidoday]

And this answers the question how exactly????

It's quite obvious (after reading a lot of your posts) that you are quite opinionated. Perhaps you should save your opinion for someone that asks for it and try to answer the questions that are posted.

I think cas0496 is a troll with issues. 3 posts and each one of them derogatory.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I think cas0496 is a troll with issues. 3 posts and each one of them derogatory.

I think you may have hit the nail on the head

 

[icechic71]

First of all, I posted this thread to get some good "advice" regarding my situation, not someone's "opinion" of me, as a member stated. The name of the site is after all, free advice not Fight for Fathers, or Bash the Members...etc. This is the first time I posted here and I am very disappointed in the cady responses I have read to my and other members posts on this site. Does the name calling and member bashing really serve the purpose this site intends?

I appreciate the helpful responses and have been able to apply some of the advise to my own situation. Also, members tend not to divulge too much personal information so I understand why it is difficult to give anything more than broad advice. However, each circumstance has it's own issues. Like mine, my kids hate to visit their Dad because they can not stand his wife and her children. Don't get me wrong, they love their father dearly. I have worked very hard to maintain a positive image of his wife and have taught them communication skills to help talk to their father about issues they have while in his home. However, he is not concerned with their school work, their hygiene, or their whereabouts when in his custody. My oldest can not go to his home until after I get home and have checked his homework because his father doesn't care. This has been going on for four years. My children's step siblings are treated like royalty and my children are the step children. It really is sad, but I have tried for 5 years to help their father make a better home for his kids.

By my moving, I will improve the quality of my life and in turn my childrens. As you know I am from California, and it is very difficult for a single mother with three children to survive. Considering we pretty much share time, my child support isn't very much and I constantly struggle financially. Moving to an area with a lower cost of living and a housing market under the national average will help us have a better quality of living. Is that so bad?

People should remember that these are people's lives. These are very emotional, stressful situations not to be taken lightly. Most of us are just looking for a little information, an idea of what to do next.

 

[icechic71]

One more note....

I would be able to offer the children's father visitation on a more frequent basis than if I moved 100 miles away because the school district they would attend out of state operates on a year round basis. He would be able to have visitation approximately 115 days a year including summer, fall break, Christmas break, spring break and two four day weekends. I believe this equals approx. 31.5% compared to his current 40%.