Custody Agreements

[NeedHelpMZ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? DE

I'm actually on here asking questions for a friend. She just had a baby a few weeks ago and would like to know if she and her baby's father (ex-boyfriend) could make a custody agreement on their own, have it notarized and signed by them both, if that would suffice instead of taking it to court. This is the advice she has been getting from her family and friends and is unsure of what to do. I told her I thought she and he should ask the family law court or help center there to help them. Please advise on the easiest way to do this and the least expensive way. Neither can afford an attorney. They've agreed that she would have sole custody, but he would have set visitation schedule in case this info matters. Thanks!

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? DE

I'm actually on here asking questions for a friend. She just had a baby a few weeks ago and would like to know if she and her baby's father (ex-boyfriend) could make a custody agreement on their own, have it notarized and signed by them both, if that would suffice instead of taking it to court. This is the advice she has been getting from her family and friends and is unsure of what to do. I told her I thought she and he should ask the family law court or help center there to help them. Please advise on the easiest way to do this and the least expensive way. Neither can afford an attorney. They've agreed that she would have sole custody, but he would have set visitation schedule in case this info matters. Thanks!

They can file a stipulated agreement with the court - basically write it up themselves, sign it, and submit it. As long as it's not outrageous, the judge should sign off on it.

ONLY THEN would it become enforceable.

Court orders are our friends - they protect everyone involved.

 

[NeedHelpMZ]

They can file a stipulated agreement with the court - basically write it up themselves, sign it, and submit it. As long as it's not outrageous, the judge should sign off on it.

ONLY THEN would it become enforceable.

Court orders are our friends - they protect everyone involved.

Would she have to actually file a petition for custody with this form or would they be able to file this agreement separately? Thank you.

 

[LdiJ]

Would she have to actually file a petition for custody with this form or would they be able to file this agreement separately? Thank you.

They should be able to file a stipulated agreement separately, as long as it conforms to the legal requirements/wording. In all reality, it would be best to have an attorney draw up the stiputated agreement. However if they cannot do that then getting help from a self help center would be wise.

Many attorneys would not charge a great deal to draw up a stipulated agreement and to submit it to the courts.

 

[NeedHelpMZ]

They should be able to file a stipulated agreement separately, as long as it conforms to the legal requirements/wording. In all reality, it would be best to have an attorney draw up the stiputated agreement. However if they cannot do that then getting help from a self help center would be wise.

Many attorneys would not charge a great deal to draw up a stipulated agreement and to submit it to the courts.

Great! I'll pass this info along! Hopefully they can do this and put this to rest and raise their child the next 18+ years right?

 

[Proserpina]

Great! I'll pass this info along! Hopefully they can do this and put this to rest and raise their child the next 18+ years right?

Well, it'd be great if neither had to post here , put it that way

 

[NeedHelpMZ]

Well, it'd be great if neither had to post here , put it that way

Very true.

 

[NeedHelpMZ]

Well, it'd be great if neither had to post here , put it that way

Okay, well so much for the agreement. I gave this info to my friend and she let me know that her baby's father is no longer willing to agree and would rather go to court. She said she knows she must now file a petition for custody. She is asking for joint physical custody, with her as custodial parent and sole legal custody. She was told having sole legal custody gives her right to make decisions like health, school, etc...for their baby and since she lives with her she wondered if that was asking too much of the courts. Of course, I didn't know. She said she wants to give him visitation, but he is not consistent when he wants to see the baby (she's just a few weeks old) and refuses to work out a visitation schedule now.

Really my question is that the petition for custody papers seem easy enough to fill out, but is she required to petition for child support separately? He currently has paid her nothing and she really thought maybe she should just not make him pay anything as he is a struggling musician, but I told her I thought he should not only be actively involved by seeing his child per a fair arrangement, but should also be held responsible to help care for their child financially. Not sure what she is going to do, so it's really my question so I can help her out. Is a child support petition separate from a child custody one?

Again, I appreciate any help or direction to pass along.

Thanks!

 

[Proserpina]

Sole legal is unlikely unless there's an issue with Dad's fitness as a parent...and that obviously isn't the case. She should expect joint legal.

Child support and custody are two different animals. It's probably easier for her to open up a case with http://dhss.delaware.gov/dcse/.

At the moment, Dad is NOT required to support the child - at least legally speaking.

If there are more questions, it would be best to have one of them sign up here themselves.

 

[CSO286]

Okay, well so much for the agreement. I gave this info to my friend and she let me know that her baby's father is no longer willing to agree and would rather go to court. She said she knows she must now file a petition for custody. She is asking for joint physical custody, with her as custodial parent and sole legal custody. She was told having sole legal custody gives her right to make decisions like health, school, etc...for their baby and since she lives with her she wondered if that was asking too much of the courts. Of course, I didn't know. She said she wants to give him visitation, but he is not consistent when he wants to see the baby (she's just a few weeks old) and refuses to work out a visitation schedule now.

Really my question is that the petition for custody papers seem easy enough to fill out, but is she required to petition for child support separately? He currently has paid her nothing and she really thought maybe she should just not make him pay anything as he is a struggling musician, but I told her I thought he should not only be actively involved by seeing his child per a fair arrangement, but should also be held responsible to help care for their child financially. Not sure what she is going to do, so it's really my question so I can help her out. Is a child support petition separate from a child custody one?

Again, I appreciate any help or direction to pass along.
Thanks!

Direct her to create her own account and post here, please.

(Ever play the game 'telephone' as a child? We don't like it here. The message gets muddled.)

 

[NeedHelpMZ]

Sole legal is unlikely unless there's an issue with Dad's fitness as a parent...and that obviously isn't the case. She should expect joint legal.

Child support and custody are two different animals. It's probably easier for her to open up a case with http://dhss.delaware.gov/dcse/.

At the moment, Dad is NOT required to support the child - at least legally speaking.

If there are more questions, it would be best to have one of them sign up here themselves.

Thanks! I'll tell her to sign up so she can ask questions and give all details I'm sure I don't know.

 

[NeedHelpMZ]

Direct her to create her own account and post here, please.

(Ever play the game 'telephone' as a child? We don't like it here. The message gets muddled.)

Yes, I understand. Will shoot her a message now for her to get online and chat with you all for some direction. Thanks again!

 

[Proserpina]

Yes, I understand. Will shoot her a message now for her to get online and chat with you all for some direction. Thanks again!

You're welcome - and thank YOU for not being snotty about the third party thing!


(Have you READ some of the snotty responses we get when we ask third parties to get the actual party to sign on? You'd think we're telling people to dip their firstborn in boiling oil and serve the child up for supper! )

 

[NeedHelpMZ]

You're welcome - and thank YOU for not being snotty about the third party thing!


(Have you READ some of the snotty responses we get when we ask third parties to get the actual party to sign on? You'd think we're telling people to dip their firstborn in boiling oil and serve the child up for supper! )

You're welcome. I haven't read those snotty responses, but cracked up when I read this. How silly! I actually had good friends who got a lot of direction and help on this site so knew about it for a few years before actually logging on to ask for help for this friend. I've been reading random posts and feel so sad that some peoples lives are so messed up and filled with ugly custody battles or other family wars. I'll tell her to look out for some of you on here. Hopefully she can keep this as civil and painless as possible and be fair for all of their sakes.