custody battle but neither parent properly equipped

[cairysse]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

i have an interesting dilemma regarding my sis-in-law.

my mom-in-law and ex-step-dad-in-law (my husbands step-dad and mom had his half-sis and then divorced) are in a custody battle.

basically, in my non-experienced opinion, the dad lives in a 2 bedroom house w/small office used as a bedroom and lives there with his gf and her 4 sons ages 9-19 and 1 grandchild WITH my sis-in-law who just turned 13. thats 8 ppl in this tiny house. (is that legal?)

the mom lives in a 2 bedroom apartment alone.

at first mom had custody bc dad didnt want to care for my sis-in-law at that point. then one day she went for visititation over to dad's and dad never let her go back to her moms but mom did nothing to try and get her back.

mom has a borderline bad pill/alcohol problem and dad has sexual/porn problems rampant throughtout his family.

so there are pros and cons to both parents. as her sister-in-law i want the best for her but i dont know which is best. in my opinion neither parent want to pay CS which is too bad but neither home is SAFE for her. i may not be 'blood' but i am very worried about her situation. is it possible/smart/stupid for her, obviously if agreed, to stay with me and her brother? i feel its the safest place anyway!

thanks in advance for any advice or opinions!!!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Silverplum]

We don't do "third party" stuff.

If someone has a problem, they can come online and discuss it for themselves.

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

i have an interesting dilemma regarding my sis-in-law.

my mom-in-law and ex-step-dad-in-law (my husbands step-dad and mom had his half-sis and then divorced) are in a custody battle.

basically, in my non-experienced opinion, the dad lives in a 2 bedroom house w/small office used as a bedroom and lives there with his gf and her 4 sons ages 9-19 and 1 grandchild WITH my sis-in-law who just turned 13. thats 8 ppl in this tiny house. (is that legal?)

the mom lives in a 2 bedroom apartment alone.

at first mom had custody bc dad didnt want to care for my sis-in-law at that point. then one day she went for visititation over to dad's and dad never let her go back to her moms but mom did nothing to try and get her back.

mom has a borderline bad pill/alcohol problem and dad has sexual/porn problems rampant throughtout his family.

so there are pros and cons to both parents. as her sister-in-law i want the best for her but i dont know which is best. in my opinion neither parent want to pay CS which is too bad but neither home is SAFE for her. i may not be 'blood' but i am very worried about her situation. is it possible/smart/stupid for her, obviously if agreed, to stay with me and her brother? i feel its the safest place anyway!

thanks in advance for any advice or opinions!!!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[cairysse]

well thank you

thank you for your input. i was simply trying to follow the rules and not pretend to be someone else to get an answer but i guess honesty is not always the best policy.

My husband (her brother) and I are extremely worried about her well-being and merely wanted to know if we could help the situation in any way. we just wanted an unbiased opinion not closely tied to the emotions of the case.

oh and btw, a 'third-party' of some sort is practically always in the picture/story/question.

 

[Silverplum]

thank you for your input. i was simply trying to follow the rules and not pretend to be someone else to get an answer but i guess honesty is not always the best policy.

We'd figure it out pretty quickly. It's extremely obvious to the experienced.

My husband (her brother) and I are extremely worried about her well-being and merely wanted to know if we could help the situation in any way. we just wanted an unbiased opinion not closely tied to the emotions of the case.

Hire an attorney for a consultation.

oh and btw, a 'third-party' of some sort is practically always in the picture/story/question.

Thanks for teaching me something brand-new.

 

[Zigner]

If you're concerned for the child's safety, call Child Protective Services (or whatever it's called in your neck of the woods)

 

[cairysse]

thanks silverplum. i actually will consult an attorney bc i have my own child support issue so i might as well slide that question in. oh and no problem for the new info.

and Z- i'm family! i dont feel like i can call the CPS on BOTH of them?!?! that just seems wrong to me! i dunno.

 

[Humusluvr]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

i have an interesting dilemma regarding my sis-in-law.

my mom-in-law and ex-step-dad-in-law (my husbands step-dad and mom had his half-sis and then divorced) are in a custody battle.

basically, in my non-experienced opinion, the dad lives in a 2 bedroom house w/small office used as a bedroom and lives there with his gf and her 4 sons ages 9-19 and 1 grandchild WITH my sis-in-law who just turned 13. thats 8 ppl in this tiny house. (is that legal?)

the mom lives in a 2 bedroom apartment alone.

at first mom had custody bc dad didnt want to care for my sis-in-law at that point. then one day she went for visititation over to dad's and dad never let her go back to her moms but mom did nothing to try and get her back.

mom has a borderline bad pill/alcohol problem and dad has sexual/porn problems rampant throughtout his family.

so there are pros and cons to both parents. as her sister-in-law i want the best for her but i dont know which is best. in my opinion neither parent want to pay CS which is too bad but neither home is SAFE for her. i may not be 'blood' but i am very worried about her situation. is it possible/smart/stupid for her, obviously if agreed, to stay with me and her brother? i feel its the safest place anyway!

thanks in advance for any advice or opinions!!!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Since you are not a doctor - you should not attempt to diagnose.

Since you don't live there, you don't know the real story.

Since you are not a case worker - you don't know if there is abuse.

You should run it past a lawyer - because you aren't one of those either.

And quit your wild speculations.

 

[Silverplum]

thanks silverplum. i actually will consult an attorney bc i have my own child support issue so i might as well slide that question in.

You'll enjoy paying by the second, asking about someone else's personal problem.

And the attorney will tell you what I told you.

oh and no problem for the new info.

I have a long memory.

 

[cairysse]

Since you are not a doctor - you should not attempt to diagnose.

Since you don't live there, you don't know the real story.

Since you are not a case worker - you don't know if there is abuse.

You should run it past a lawyer - because you aren't one of those either.

And quit your wild speculations.

first off, why do you people on here have to be so.... just plain mean? i have a very legitatmate concern.

and in reply Mr. H:

to begin with, i am in nursing school but no i may not be a doctor, but when your child is sneezing, do you 'diagnose' that he has a cold or allergies? and what is it exactly that i diagnosed?

i know every time i see the mom, she's drunk and on pills. i see the bottle of jack, i see the giant bottles of lorcets, somas, and xanax. my sis-in-law tells me who her mom passes out at 7. not to mention that my husband was raised by the mom and has told me many a'stories despite what i have seen myself. and also he just got off the phone w/her right this very minute, and he just came to my b*tching that his mother was F'd up.

furthermore, i never talked about abuse. if you are speaking of the father, HIS father molested my sis-in-law and is currently in PRISON, the dads brother is a homosexual, and the dad himself is addicted to porn. he has cheated on all his wives (3) including my mom in law who has broken 2 computers bc he caught him doing his 'thing' while on the computer looking at 'things'. just 2 weeks ago, my sis-in-law told me SHE walked in on her own father doing his 'thing'. not to mention that my husband was parented by the dad since he was 9 and has told me many a'stories despite what i have seen myself.

also, in my reply to silverplum, i JUST SAID i was going to ask a lawyer his advice. or some 3rd party's opinion on which household they think is best.

and lastly, what wild speculations? when you assume you make an 'ass' of 'u' and 'me'. and u just made a BIG one of yourself. did you even get the right post bc your retort was wild in itself.

and if you dont have something nice to say, then dont say anything at all. what is your problem H? i simply wanted help and instead have been made to feel like i'm doing something wrong bc i love my sister. think before you act.

 

[Humusluvr]

first off, why do you people on here have to be so.... just plain mean? i have a very legitatmate concern.

and in reply Mr. H:

to begin with, i am in nursing school but no i may not be a doctor, but when your child is sneezing, do you 'diagnose' that he has a cold or allergies? and what is it exactly that i diagnosed?

i know every time i see the mom, she's drunk and on pills. i see the bottle of jack, i see the giant bottles of lorcets, somas, and xanax. my sis-in-law tells me who her mom passes out at 7. not to mention that my husband was raised by the mom and has told me many a'stories despite what i have seen myself. and also he just got off the phone w/her right this very minute, and he just came to my b*tching that his mother was F'd up.

furthermore, i never talked about abuse. if you are speaking of the father, HIS father molested my sis-in-law and is currently in PRISON, the dads brother is a homosexual, and the dad himself is addicted to porn. he has cheated on all his wives (3) including my mom in law who has broken 2 computers bc he caught him doing his 'thing' while on the computer looking at 'things'. just 2 weeks ago, my sis-in-law told me SHE walked in on her own father doing his 'thing'. not to mention that my husband was parented by the dad since he was 9 and has told me many a'stories despite what i have seen myself.

also, in my reply to silverplum, i JUST SAID i was going to ask a lawyer his advice. or some 3rd party's opinion on which household they think is best.

and lastly, what wild speculations? when you assume you make an 'ass' of 'u' and 'me'. and u just made a BIG one of yourself. did you even get the right post bc your retort was wild in itself.

and if you dont have something nice to say, then dont say anything at all. what is your problem H? i simply wanted help and instead have been made to feel like i'm doing something wrong bc i love my sister. think before you act.

Ohhhhhh

I was just living, loving, laughing... and now I'm leaving

This dude is out!

he he he. You made my day.

 

[2Mistakes]

first off, why do you people on here have to be so.... just plain mean? i have a very legitatmate concern.

and in reply Mr. H:

to begin with, i am in nursing school but no i may not be a doctor, but when your child is sneezing, do you 'diagnose' that he has a cold or allergies? and what is it exactly that i diagnosed?

i know every time i see the mom, she's drunk and on pills. i see the bottle of jack, i see the giant bottles of lorcets, somas, and xanax. my sis-in-law tells me who her mom passes out at 7. not to mention that my husband was raised by the mom and has told me many a'stories despite what i have seen myself. and also he just got off the phone w/her right this very minute, and he just came to my b*tching that his mother was F'd up.

furthermore, i never talked about abuse. if you are speaking of the father, HIS father molested my sis-in-law and is currently in PRISON, the dads brother is a homosexual, and the dad himself is addicted to porn. he has cheated on all his wives (3) including my mom in law who has broken 2 computers bc he caught him doing his 'thing' while on the computer looking at 'things'. just 2 weeks ago, my sis-in-law told me SHE walked in on her own father doing his 'thing'. not to mention that my husband was parented by the dad since he was 9 and has told me many a'stories despite what i have seen myself.

also, in my reply to silverplum, i JUST SAID i was going to ask a lawyer his advice. or some 3rd party's opinion on which household they think is best.

and lastly, what wild speculations? when you assume you make an 'ass' of 'u' and 'me'. and u just made a BIG one of yourself. did you even get the right post bc your retort was wild in itself.

and if you dont have something nice to say, then dont say anything at all. what is your problem H? i simply wanted help and instead have been made to feel like i'm doing something wrong bc i love my sister. think before you act.

You don't need an attorney. You need Jerry Springer.

 

[Ohiogal]

A few things:
The 13 year old needs to knock before walking into a room;
Dad's brother being homosexual is NOT an issue;
dad having sex is NOT an issue;
Dad having more than one sexual party is NOT an issue unless one of them is the thirteen year old or another child;
to diagnose an addiction to porn you need more than just dad looking at it and you are not QUALIFIED to diagnose him;
a sneeze is sometimes just a sneeze and means nothing more than the nose got irritated -- no diagnosis needed and if you think there always is then you are NOT going to be a good nurse Ms. Student...

Hmm should I continue? Oh yeah. Nothing you have stated makes dad unfit. Hence dad will get custody if mom is a drug addict.

 

[cairysse]

You don't need an attorney. You need Jerry Springer.

You're telling me man!

 

[cairysse]

Ohhhhhh

I was just living, loving, laughing... and now I'm leaving

You made my day.

glad i could be the one to help someone out!

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Unless the parents agree, chances of you getting custody is about the same as winning the PowerBall.