custody hearing

[waitinMd]

What is the name of your state? Md

She filed a temporary custody order, named me the father, but asked to establish paternity. I filed and asked for Custody/visitation. Our cases were put together and now we have a custody hearing. So does that mean paternity is already established since she named me, and I filed for custody?

What happens in a custody hearing?

Can she cancel, and it be rescheduled? (I hope she doesn't cancel)....

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Md

She filed a temporary custody order, named me the father, but asked to establish paternity. I filed and asked for Custody/visitation. Our cases were put together and now we have a custody hearing. So does that mean paternity is already established since she named me, and I filed for custody?

What happens in a custody hearing?

Can she cancel, and it be rescheduled? (I hope she doesn't cancel)....

In the first hearing, what will probably happen is that the judge will order a DNA test (if you haven't already had one). You will probably also get ordered to mediation after you have the results of the DNA.

 

[snostar]

A DNA test will only be ordered if one of the parties makes that request. Is that what the mother did in her petition? If you both confirm and acknowlege you are the child's father that is enough to establish paternity.

 

[waitinMd]

The mother involved me in the pregnancy the entire time, she spoke to me 4 days before the birth, and invited me to the hospital, but she never called. I found out a week AFTER the birth that it was born. Her new boyfriend took great joy is informing me I missed the birth. He will not let her talk to me. He does not want me around. He does NOT know she was calling me and my mother a few times a week and visiting behind his back. He does not KNOW I went to her doctors appt. She just turned 17, I just turned 20, the boyfriend is 26.

After she found out I knew it was born. She went and filed a temporary custody order under false allegations. She was awarded temporary custody. My lawyer filed an appeal, the judge went on vacation. It has been a month, and we still have to wait a few more weeks to go to court.

Now, both cases have been combined. On her temporary custody order, it states I am the father, but the last page says 'after paternity is established, he can have supervised visitation, with me for 4 hours a week.' She is asking for DNA. I am not. I was told all along it was my child, "it could not be anyone else's". I filed for custody/visitation, not asking for dna.

She must have gotten something in mail concerning the appeal, because, I have been getting harrassing phone calls from her boyfriend now, stating that he can take care of the child, they are getting married..... they don't need my money. He left 3 messages on my cell phone, two on the house phone, and I had 8 hang ups.

The court told me when I called the scheduler, it is a "custody hearing". I was just wondering what happens. So, more than likely I will not get visitation for awhile??? This is anguishing.

 

[LdiJ]

The mother involved me in the pregnancy the entire time, she spoke to me 4 days before the birth, and invited me to the hospital, but she never called. I found out a week AFTER the birth that it was born. Her new boyfriend took great joy is informing me I missed the birth. He will not let her talk to me. He does not want me around. He does NOT know she was calling me and my mother a few times a week and visiting behind his back. He does not KNOW I went to her doctors appt. She just turned 17, I just turned 20, the boyfriend is 26.

After she found out I knew it was born. She went and filed a temporary custody order under false allegations. She was awarded temporary custody. My lawyer filed an appeal, the judge went on vacation. It has been a month, and we still have to wait a few more weeks to go to court.

Now, both cases have been combined. On her temporary custody order, it states I am the father, but the last page says 'after paternity is established, he can have supervised visitation, with me for 4 hours a week.' She is asking for DNA. I am not. I was told all along it was my child, "it could not be anyone else's". I filed for custody/visitation, not asking for dna.

She must have gotten something in mail concerning the appeal, because, I have been getting harrassing phone calls from her boyfriend now, stating that he can take care of the child, they are getting married..... they don't need my money. He left 3 messages on my cell phone, two on the house phone, and I had 8 hang ups.

The court told me when I called the scheduler, it is a "custody hearing". I was just wondering what happens. So, more than likely I will not get visitation for awhile??? This is anguishing.

Since mom has asked for a DNA test, then its going to be ordered. You really shouldn't fight that. You cannot be 100% certain that you are the father without one. Its better to have it in black and white now.

Generally, the process of custody/visitation goes through several court appearances. Most likely the DNA test will be ordered at the first hearing. Then, once that is established the second hearing will likely be to send the two of you to mediation, and perhaps also estabish a temporary visitation schedule. If you can't agree in mediation, then another hearing would be likely, for the judge to decide.

Yes, its likely to be a while before you get visitation....particularly since the DNA test has to be done. However, the quicker you propose a parenting plan that a judge would consider to be reasonable....the faster you are likely to get visitation.

 

[waitinMd]

We have a parentling plan put together, you gave me a link to one, and we used the "Adler Time sharing guidelines".

This is disheartening. The DNA will take at least 7 weeks thought the court.
My lawyers said it makes her look bad to say I am the father, and then say but I want DNA. So she really isn't sure???

 

[snostar]

My lawyers said it makes her look bad to say I am the father, and then say but I want DNA. So she really isn't sure???

Either she isn't sure or just using it as a delay tactic. Of course it makes her look bad and will cause the judge to second guess her crediblity.

 

[LdiJ]

Either she isn't sure or just using it as a delay tactic. Of course it makes her look bad and will cause the judge to second guess her crediblity.

I agree....but don't get your hopes up that its going to make any significant difference in the final outcome of the case....it may to some extent, but just don't get your hopes up too high.

 

[snostar]

I agree....but don't get your hopes up that its going to make any significant difference in the final outcome of the case....it may to some extent, but just don't get your hopes up too high.

I agree the circumstance will not directly effect a determination but first impressions tend to be lasting. The judge will be onto this woman antics right from the start.

 

[LdiJ]

I agree the circumstance will not directly effect a determination but first impressions tend to be lasting. The judge will be onto this woman antics right from the start.

Yes, that certainly is true.

 

[waitinMd]

I hope you are right, I am wondering if he is not already wise the her and her mother. Since she is under 18, her mother filed the protective order against me. It was horrible! The judge denied the allegations, stating they were ''preposterous, and unfounded, there is not real proof the alleged abuse occurred".. he denied the protective order against me.

The way I found out she filed the protective order, is that my mother went to the courthouse to print out the felony charges on my ex's boyfriend, and the protective order(s) my ex's mother has on her boyfriend/boyfriends... when my mom asked for the folder for my ex's mom's protective orders, the lady stated, they are "still" in the judges chambers.

I am wondering if the judge pulled the records to see the history of the family? Smart judge.

This guy has a hold on her. Her own mother doesn't want her home. My ex and her mother's boyfriend fight all the time.

My mother has a very high security clearance with the government. Our family gets extensive background investigations every 5 yrs. There is nothing, not even a speeding ticket in my records.

 

[m5634]

Paternity Tests

I would definitely take a DNA tests to establish paternity.

I know someone that went thru similar things. He took a saliva tests. After reading about paternity testing he found out the blood tests are alot more accurate, and then demanded the blood tests. They both showed he was the father, but the blood test had a higher percentage showing he is the dad.

Do not settle for a saliva test.

If you are found to be the father, make sure you take advantage of your visitation that is agreed upon. If her boyfriend has such a hold on her, he may try to interfere with your visitation. Document any visits that don't occur. Time, date, reason, etc. If you don't get your visitation as agreed upon, you can take her to court to get it enforced.

My friend actually had to get the police involved to get the child at visitation time, because one time the mother's boyfriend choked the father when he came to her house to pickup his son. After that incident he made sure someone whether it was a police officer or someone else was present to prove anything that occurred. Many times the police would have to go find her to get the child at visitation time. Those kind of things do not settle well with judges.

 

[waitinMd]

Thanks for the advice. I told my lawyer I want the exchange to take place at the State Police barracks. It is halfway betweeen our houses.

I am taking everyones advice and I am having it put in the court order that he can't interfere.

Definately blood! Thanks.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks for the advice. I told my lawyer I want the exchange to take place at the State Police barracks. It is halfway betweeen our houses.

I am taking everyones advice and I am having it put in the court order that he can't interfere.

Definately blood! Thanks.

That is great for the long term...but that is not going to help you in the short term. You are a stranger to the baby and the judge is likely to make you visit in mom's presence (or the presence of someone else with whom the baby is familiar) at first. Therefore you better think of a short term plan as well.