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Custody if I donate sperm to a lesbian couple?

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What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida.

What if I donate sperm to a lesbian couple? Homosexual marriage is not legal in Florida. How would the custody and visitation work? I would want full visitation and to be a "third" parent.
 


CJane

Senior Member
As far as I know, California is the only state that allows for a child having more than 2 legal parents. Since FL doesn't have marriage equality yet, it's unlikely that the couple will be able to do an adoption.

This is a complicated issue that is better handled by an attorney, rather than an internet message board.
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
If you donate sperm the proper way through a sperm bank, you will have neither rights nor obligations.

If you donate sperm through any other means, you will not be a sperm donor, you will be a father.

If the lesbian couple wants a sperm donor but you want visitation, I would call that an impasse and you should not even think about doing it.
 
Sperm donor.

I just figured out the answer. It would just be like having a child with someone you are not married to. I should be present at the birth and sign the birth certificate, then I would have full access to visitation provided I am not a bad influence, on drugs, etc.

If I did this, I would make sure the couple is okay with that type of arrangement.
 

Astrolink

Member
I just figured out the answer. It would just be like having a child with someone you are not married to. I should be present at the birth and sign the birth certificate, then I would have full access to visitation provided I am not a bad influence, on drugs, etc.

If I did this, I would make sure the couple is okay with that type of arrangement.
Just know that that the mother of the child will be within her rights to have a child support order initiated. I would actually count on it.
 

justalayman

Senior Member
I just figured out the answer. It would just be like having a child with someone you are not married to. I should be present at the birth and sign the birth certificate, then I would have full access to visitation provided I am not a bad influence, on drugs, etc.

If I did this, I would make sure the couple is okay with that type of arrangement.
actually you would not have any rights to be present at the birth and unless the mother is also willing to sign the AOP, that isn't happening either. You would have to file suit to establish paternity if the mother refused to sign the AOP.
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
This is a new area of law; I wonder if the 2 women were married in a state where that is legal, would the spouse of the birth mother be the child's other legal parent automatically? Just like an opposite sex marriage? IMO that's how it should be.
 

justalayman

Senior Member
This is a new area of law; I wonder if the 2 women were married in a state where that is legal, would the spouse of the birth mother be the child's other legal parent automatically? Just like an opposite sex marriage? IMO that's how it should be.
well...



this is part of the problems this sort of thing presents

but a woman cannot be the father because, well, they just can't. I suspect the non-mother still would not be the father in Florida because they have a place for the mother and a place for the father on the birth certificate and again, the non-mother cannot be the father.

and we have this:

(2) PATERNITY.—
(a) If the mother is married at the time of birth, the name of the husband shall be entered on the birth certificate as the father of the child, unless paternity has been determined otherwise by a court of competent jurisdiction.
(b) Notwithstanding paragraph (a), if the husband of the mother dies while the mother is pregnant but before the birth of the child, the name of the deceased husband shall be entered on the birth certificate as the father of the child, unless paternity has been determined otherwise by a court of competent jurisdiction.
neither woman can be a husband so the non-mother cannot be on the birth certificate, as things are currently, at least as I read that.


IMO what we should have is:

the real facts surrounding the birth on the birth certificate. no more "legal" father except in a circumstance where the parents are married and all parties involved allow the husband to be known as the legal father with the biological father actually releasing claims of legal paternity. No changing a name of the child, no changing the gender after a gender reassignment surgery.

the father on the BC should be the biological father
the gender should be the true gender of the child at birth
the name should be the name that was given at the time of birth


each of those items are facts and they never change. Future court actions and court records account for name changes, gender changes, and legal fathers and that is where they should remain.

we have the ability to determine the true father of the child so there is no need to put a presumptive nothing on the BC any longer.

the only changes made to a BC should be based on corrections of errors such as the husband actually isn't the bio father although it is believed he is. He would be named bio father presumptively but if later info comes to light to show another man is the bio father, the father named on the BC should be corrected.



we have confused this bio and legal father way to long and to start correcting it, we start with actual facts being put on and remaining on the BC.
 

single317dad

Senior Member
We could just do away with marriage as a state sponsored institution altogether. Let it be the religious ceremony it was meant to be. Allow people to enter into civil coupling contracts if they so desire, but don't assume they've honored that contract simply because it exists.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida.

What if I donate sperm to a lesbian couple? Homosexual marriage is not legal in Florida. How would the custody and visitation work? I would want full visitation and to be a "third" parent.

Although this is not a "nice comment" ...I really think that the mother of this "future child" is an idiot for asking you to be the SD. This whole situation, as you have posted, is screwed. VERY BAD FOR THE "future child".

Tell the "mom" to move to a state where gay marrage is legal, as mine is, and they, as a MARRIED couple, will have more LEGAL OPTIONS.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Although this is not a "nice comment" ...I really think that the mother of this "future child" is an idiot for asking you to be the SD. This whole situation, as you have posted, is screwed. VERY BAD FOR THE "future child".

Tell the "mom" to move to a state where gay marrage is legal, as mine is, and they, as a MARRIED couple, will have more LEGAL OPTIONS.
Actually not really. Because of what has been mentioned. I know the 6th Circuit has heard the case regarding putting parents on the birth certificate but it has been appealed. That case was fought in Ohio. No state at this point allows it to my knowledge.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Actually not really. Because of what has been mentioned. I know the 6th Circuit has heard the case regarding putting parents on the birth certificate but it has been appealed. That case was fought in Ohio. No state at this point allows it to my knowledge.
In Mass same sex marrage is LEGALLY the same as man and woman. TMK.

They are able to adopt. That are able to use a SD and both, married persons, be listed as the parents. TMK. I can only post about my state...:)


ETA: My state of Massachusetts has NOTHING to do with OPs state except in a possible place for the "mom and her partner to move to for PARENTAL "rights".
 
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