custody involving death of custodial parent

[mommyski]

What is the name of your state? NC
My ex and I had 2 children. Following divorce we had joint custody with him having actual physical custody, me visitation. He died in Oct. I know have the girls with me. I'm having trouble enrolling them in school on post (military). They say I have to have custody papers. I have the death certificate, their birth certificates, ss cards, id cards.....everything except custody papers. We (my current hubby and I) now have 4 kids in the home, one of the way and he is the only one working so at the moment I can not hire an attorney to help me with this. A couple I have talked to say this is ridiculous (that the school won't let them in). One person and a few web resources have said that I can file for a modification of custody on my own, the clerk of court told me I could not because then I would be practicing law without a license. The school prinicpal told me that I could just find a judge who could just file out a custody paper for me without having to go through lawyers, court, etc. I guess I'm wondering if anyone knows exactly what I can do without having to sell all my belongings and forget getting xmas for my kids just to hire a lawyer? Any info will be greatly appreciated. The girls have already missed more than a month of school because of this.
Thanks

 

[JaneyS4]

Thats insane!

Craziest thing I ever heard. Wonder if the clerk of courts ever heard of PRO SE?!?!?!? And why would you need custody papers if your ex is dead? Grief! I'll look and see what I can find. I would think you would need to file for something in the same court your original custody was ordered though. Was that NC also?

Can someone help this lady? IAAL? Grace? Aren't you NC?

 

[mommyski]

Re: Thats insane!

Craziest thing I ever heard. Wonder if the clerk of courts ever heard of PRO SE?!?!?!? And why would you need custody papers if your ex is dead? Grief! I'll look and see what I can find. I would think you would need to file for something in the same court your original custody was ordered though. Was that NC also?

Can someone help this lady? IAAL? Grace? Aren't you NC?

Yes, everyone keeps telling me it's crazy, insane, silly, etc ...even a couple of lawyers. What makes it even crazier is I withdrew the girls from their old schools and no one even asked me for my ID much less custody papers. I didn't even have to show custody papers to file for their SSI benefits.
One lawyer did tell me that if I did have to file any type of paper it would have to be in the court/county the children were living in since they haven't been a resident of the county they are in now for 6 months. It is in NC also.
I just found another website that says I can download the forms I would need to file the modification myself , for a small fee of course. Does anyone know if their is such a form I can do? I would hate to pay even more money out then it not be legal in court. Thanks for getting back to me JaneyS4.

 

[usmcfamily]

You can do thinks Pro Se in NC (we are here in NC right now too).....you should be able to find everything you need at the law library of your area courthouse (ie county courthouse). Also, I don't know what county you are in but the law library in Craven County (near Le Juene and MCAS Cherry Point) is staffed by volunteers who have legal knowledge and expertise and will help you with finding what you need.
I would file your motion for a modification of the custody order on the grounds of the custodial parent's death.
One ? -- you make no mention of having consulted base legal. While they won't actually represent you they can provide you knowledge and documents and assist you with document preparation as well. They also have the resources to refer you to an attorney who would be able to help you AND work on a payment plan so that you wouldn't have to front a lot of $$$$.....

 

[CRYROSE1]

Have you thaught of going to the superintend of the school or the school board and ask them why you can't get your girls in, this is there education.
If that dont work to to the state borad of enducation.
If they where enroled and just not going to school the school would report you to the state.
Do they not under stand court could be many months down the road??
I have to agree that is is all very silly, the child has had enought there parent is gone and now the school wont let the attend. you have the death certificate - you would think that would be enough.
It is really bad when the fedral government will give you the ssi - but the school wont let them attend.

 

[JaneyS4]

I think USMC gave you some excellent advice. Oh, and you can tell the clerk when you finally get the correct papers to file, that the 6th amendment of our Constitution guarentees you the right to represent yourself.

 

[usmcfamily]

Are you trying to enroll the children in regular public school or in a DOD school?

 

[mommyski]

You can do thinks Pro Se in NC (we are here in NC right now too).....you should be able to find everything you need at the law library of your area courthouse (ie county courthouse). Also, I don't know what county you are in but the law library in Craven County (near Le Juene and MCAS Cherry Point) is staffed by volunteers who have legal knowledge and expertise and will help you with finding what you need.
One ? -- you make no mention of having consulted base legal. While they won't actually represent you they can provide you knowledge and documents and assist you with document preparation as well. They also have the resources to refer you to an attorney who would be able to help you AND work on a payment plan so that you wouldn't have to front a lot of $$$$.....

Thanks, good idea about the law library. I'll try that. We did go to base legal assistance. They said they didn't have anyone licensed in NC so they couldn't help us. They did give us a referral number to call, got an answering service and we have as yet to get a return call.

 

[mommyski]

Have you thaught of going to the superintend of the school or the school board and ask them why you can't get your girls in, this is there education.
If that dont work to to the state borad of enducation.
If they where enroled and just not going to school the school would report you to the state.
Do they not under stand court could be many months down the road??
I have to agree that is is all very silly, the child has had enought there parent is gone and now the school wont let the attend. you have the death certificate - you would think that would be enough.
It is really bad when the fedral government will give you the ssi - but the school wont let them attend.

The school super said that their lawyers advised them not to let the girls enroll without me having custody papers on the grounds that someone could just pop up some day with papers and take them out of school. The girls have no one else except the step mom and she is with the man who murdered their father. The super keeps saying they are so sorry to be putting the girls through even more but their hands are tied.

 

[mommyski]

Are you trying to enroll the children in regular public school or in a DOD school?

DOD. We live on base. I would just try enrolling them in a public school but we only have one car. No way would we be able to work that out with only one vehicle.

 

[usmcfamily]

That explains the insistence for legal custody BUT I am now confused because you shouldn't have been able to enroll the children in the DEERS system either without proof of legal custody.........
The schools hands really ARE tied -- DOD schools HAVE to have proof of legal custody for any children that are not they children of the current marriage to the service member (this day and age of parental abduction has led to that step).
Have you been to the JAG office?

 

[KCMR]

"One person and a few web resources have said that I can file for a modification of custody on my own, the clerk of court told me I could not because then I would be practicing law without a license. "

I've never heard that you couldn't file for a modication on your own. Don't they have custody agreements between parents in NC without attorneys? You have to have an attorney for everything? What are the web resources you are referring to? I'd ask to speak to someone else there at the clerk of courts or domestic relations.

Your poor children...not only did they lose their father...but now this?