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Custody, Long Distance Visitation Schedule, and out-of-state mom wanting 2 of 4 kids

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ryderguy

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? OHIO
Medina County

Hi - My name is Jerry and I'm new to this group - I'm a divorced father of 5 children (4 with ex-wife and 1 with live-in fiance). I have a few problems that I need help with. I welcome ANY and ALL suggestions, comments or legal reference in response to my questions.

#1) I am a divorced father who lives in Ohio (Ex-wife and mother of 4 kids lives in King George County, Virgnia). I have sole custody of my 4 children. Recently after a visit to their mom, 2 of the children have announced they wish to live with her permanently. :mad:
HERE'S THE SITUATION: I was told by MY attorney that exwife/mom has to find an atty who is licensed IN OHIO and Medina County, and then must FILE a motion for custody of those 2 children. However, she states that SHE was told all that needs to be done is for ME, Custodial Parent, to sign a paper and have it notarized, stating that she is to have custody of those 2 children. She states she does NOT have to come to Ohio, nor does she have to have a lawyer, nor does she have to file ANYthing.
COMMENTS? OPINIONS? LEGAL REFERENCE????? :confused:

#2) My ex and I used to agree on visitation, but recently she has become "difficult" ... to the degree where police had to be involved this past weekend in order to CONVINCE her to bring the children back from their visit with her. Therefore, I am implementing my rights per my divorce decree of using the LONG DISTANCE PARENTING SCHEDULE. Can someone/anyone tell me where I can get a copy of this schedule as pertains to Medina County, Ohio?

#3) I've read some of the posts on this site, and I've seen it mentioned about 3rd party interference. I am engaged to be married to a woman who has lived with me and my children for 3 years. She is a stay-at-home mom to our daughter together and also to my 4 sons from my previous marriage. Would she be considered a 3rd party since she is NOT my wife yet? Also, would she still be considered a 3rd party IF we WERE married and was labeled my children's Stepmother? :confused:

Thanks, everyone, for reading all of this. Any help is greatly appreciated! I have a lawyer, but he is always so busy, and we go to him as part of a legal plan I pay for through my work, so my consults with him are free, and I always feel rushed... that's why I'm on here asking the questions. :eek:

Again - thanks... and have a nice night.
;)
Jerry
 


vollbree

Junior Member
Well, I have a hell of a lot to say about this, because I as well, was in the same situation! Only, I was the child! I'm now grown and in law school, so I also know the legal remifacations.

Let me give you a run down on my personal expirences -
My parents got divorced when I was 6 years old and my dad got custody. My mom lived close, and I saw her every other weekend and once during the week. 8 years later she moved to Tennessee and I rarely saw her. I decided when visiting her that I wanted to live with her, not because I didn't love my dad, because he's one of the most important people to me, but because at the time, I needed to be with my mom

I know this is a hard situation, and face it, your feelings are hurt. Two of your sons decide they want to live with their mom and if you're anything like my dad is this is completely and totally devasting. I'm not sure HOW OLD your sons are, but if this what they want, as hard as it is, let them live with your ex. It's not a simple and easy thing to deal with but it's NOT because they don't love you. If you go the legal way, it will make it THAT much harder on your boys and it could very well make them want to live with their mother even more.

You boys will come around, and they'll do what they think is best for them. You dont want them going and spiting you for not letting them live with their mother.

If I were you, I'd stay far as possible away from the legal route as you can for the sake of your boys. It will be far harder for them if the legal route is taken... At least, let them have a trial period with their mother.

I can't understand the position your in as a parent, but as the child, I can. This was the most difficult heart breaking expirence I've gone through yet and to be honest, it would have been a lot easier if my dad didnt respond to it the way he did. I spent many agonizing nights in my room contemplating what to do, even though I knew what was best for me at the time. My agony was caused by my father, it was because he loved me and I see that now. BUT, sometimes, daddy's as well as mommy's, need to forget the legal route and listen to their children.

Just know, your children will always love you, and come back to you, your their dad.
 

vollbree

Junior Member
Sorry, I never even answered your question.
You don't need to file anything, acutally. If you and your ex can come up with a mutual agreement amongst eachother than you don't need to do any of that and I would recommend for the childrens benefit to NOT take legal action.

When it comes to visitation, depending on how old the boys are, LET THEM decide when they want to see each of you.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
vollbree said:
Sorry, I never even answered your question.
You don't need to file anything, acutally. If you and your ex can come up with a mutual agreement amongst eachother than you don't need to do any of that and I would recommend for the childrens benefit to NOT take legal action.

When it comes to visitation, depending on how old the boys are, LET THEM decide when they want to see each of you.
This is a legal site, please don't hijack a thread to tell your story and then not give anything even close to appropriate advice!
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
ryderguy said:
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? OHIO
Medina County

Hi - My name is Jerry and I'm new to this group - I'm a divorced father of 5 children (4 with ex-wife and 1 with live-in fiance). I have a few problems that I need help with. I welcome ANY and ALL suggestions, comments or legal reference in response to my questions.

#1) I am a divorced father who lives in Ohio (Ex-wife and mother of 4 kids lives in King George County, Virgnia). I have sole custody of my 4 children. Recently after a visit to their mom, 2 of the children have announced they wish to live with her permanently. :mad:
HERE'S THE SITUATION: I was told by MY attorney that exwife/mom has to find an atty who is licensed IN OHIO and Medina County, and then must FILE a motion for custody of those 2 children. However, she states that SHE was told all that needs to be done is for ME, Custodial Parent, to sign a paper and have it notarized, stating that she is to have custody of those 2 children. She states she does NOT have to come to Ohio, nor does she have to have a lawyer, nor does she have to file ANYthing.
COMMENTS? OPINIONS? LEGAL REFERENCE????? :confused:

#2) My ex and I used to agree on visitation, but recently she has become "difficult" ... to the degree where police had to be involved this past weekend in order to CONVINCE her to bring the children back from their visit with her. Therefore, I am implementing my rights per my divorce decree of using the LONG DISTANCE PARENTING SCHEDULE. Can someone/anyone tell me where I can get a copy of this schedule as pertains to Medina County, Ohio?

#3) I've read some of the posts on this site, and I've seen it mentioned about 3rd party interference. I am engaged to be married to a woman who has lived with me and my children for 3 years. She is a stay-at-home mom to our daughter together and also to my 4 sons from my previous marriage. Would she be considered a 3rd party since she is NOT my wife yet? Also, would she still be considered a 3rd party IF we WERE married and was labeled my children's Stepmother? :confused:

Thanks, everyone, for reading all of this. Any help is greatly appreciated! I have a lawyer, but he is always so busy, and we go to him as part of a legal plan I pay for through my work, so my consults with him are free, and I always feel rushed... that's why I'm on here asking the questions. :eek:

Again - thanks... and have a nice night.
;)
Jerry
You have an attorney, please follow their advice.
Either parent may file for modification of custody and/or visitation.
It is also possible for parties to mediate an agreement and file the stipulated agreement with the court.
You are not required to file the motions for her.
If she wants to file for modification and not come in person, she will need to hire an Ohio attoprney who is able to appear in your county unless she wants to appear pro se. Some courts allow for telephonic appearances.
If you were to agree with the modification it would be wise to have the appropriate court orders issued and also to adjust child support, this may actually be about child support or your relationship with your fiancee.
If you contest the modification, wait for her to hire an attorney and file.
Make sure you have copies of your orders available when your children visit mom in VA.
Here is a link to the local rules for Medina County that should provide the specific longdistance schedule.
http://www.co.medina.oh.us/judgecollier/Local Rules of Court.pdf
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
ryderguy said:
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? OHIO
Medina County

Hi - My name is Jerry and I'm new to this group - I'm a divorced father of 5 children (4 with ex-wife and 1 with live-in fiance). I have a few problems that I need help with. I welcome ANY and ALL suggestions, comments or legal reference in response to my questions.

#1) I am a divorced father who lives in Ohio (Ex-wife and mother of 4 kids lives in King George County, Virgnia). I have sole custody of my 4 children. Recently after a visit to their mom, 2 of the children have announced they wish to live with her permanently. :mad:
HERE'S THE SITUATION: I was told by MY attorney that exwife/mom has to find an atty who is licensed IN OHIO and Medina County, and then must FILE a motion for custody of those 2 children. However, she states that SHE was told all that needs to be done is for ME, Custodial Parent, to sign a paper and have it notarized, stating that she is to have custody of those 2 children. She states she does NOT have to come to Ohio, nor does she have to have a lawyer, nor does she have to file ANYthing.
COMMENTS? OPINIONS? LEGAL REFERENCE????? :confused:

#2) My ex and I used to agree on visitation, but recently she has become "difficult" ... to the degree where police had to be involved this past weekend in order to CONVINCE her to bring the children back from their visit with her. Therefore, I am implementing my rights per my divorce decree of using the LONG DISTANCE PARENTING SCHEDULE. Can someone/anyone tell me where I can get a copy of this schedule as pertains to Medina County, Ohio?

#3) I've read some of the posts on this site, and I've seen it mentioned about 3rd party interference. I am engaged to be married to a woman who has lived with me and my children for 3 years. She is a stay-at-home mom to our daughter together and also to my 4 sons from my previous marriage. Would she be considered a 3rd party since she is NOT my wife yet? Also, would she still be considered a 3rd party IF we WERE married and was labeled my children's Stepmother? :confused:

Thanks, everyone, for reading all of this. Any help is greatly appreciated! I have a lawyer, but he is always so busy, and we go to him as part of a legal plan I pay for through my work, so my consults with him are free, and I always feel rushed... that's why I'm on here asking the questions. :eek:

Again - thanks... and have a nice night.
;)
Jerry
Actually, you are both right.

If you don't agree to the children living with her, then she would need to hire an attorney and file a petition for custody.....and would have to win the case.

However, if you agree with her, and the school district in her area would accept a notarized letter, then you can go that route. The advantage to going that route is that you would still technically have custody of the 2 kids, therefore, if the kids realized after a semester or so that they really don't want to live with mom, you can more easily bring them back.

Another option, as Rmet suggested, is a formal agreement that can be submitted to the courts for the judge's signature. That wouldn't necessarily require either of you to have an attorney.

How old are the two kids?
 

ryderguy

Junior Member
thanks for the advice

the boys that are in question are my 15 and 12 yrold, the other 2 boys are 13 and 9. all of my kids have or have had emotional issues when it come to there mother and have been to some counselling and 1 of them is on medication for it. she plays on their emotions everytime they go for a visit, and this time most recently because her mom (their grandmother) died and is trying to lay a quilt trip on them. i get very tired of her games with the boys, she had them removed by virginia child protective services 3 1/2 yrs ago and this is how i ended up getting full custody. so you can see why i get upset with her games.. thanks for the advice
 

casa

Senior Member
vollbree said:
Sorry, I never even answered your question.
You don't need to file anything, acutally. If you and your ex can come up with a mutual agreement amongst eachother than you don't need to do any of that and I would recommend for the childrens benefit to NOT take legal action.

When it comes to visitation, depending on how old the boys are, LET THEM decide when they want to see each of you.
OMG and you're in law school? :eek:
 

CJane

Senior Member
vollbree said:
I spent many agonizing nights in my room contemplating what to do, even though I knew what was best for me at the time.
YOU WERE 14!!!???
 

casa

Senior Member
ryderguy said:
the boys that are in question are my 15 and 12 yrold, the other 2 boys are 13 and 9. all of my kids have or have had emotional issues when it come to there mother and have been to some counselling and 1 of them is on medication for it. she plays on their emotions everytime they go for a visit, and this time most recently because her mom (their grandmother) died and is trying to lay a quilt trip on them. i get very tired of her games with the boys, she had them removed by virginia child protective services 3 1/2 yrs ago and this is how i ended up getting full custody. so you can see why i get upset with her games.. thanks for the advice
CPS removed the children from her care 3 1/2 years ago & that is how you got custody? What were the charges? (& are you sure those issues are resolved now?) :confused:

How old are the boys that want to live with her?

She's got a tough road ahead.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
casa said:
OMG and you're in law school? :eek:
WAS, he left for personal reasons :rolleyes: or so he says.

BTW OP says "because her mom (their grandmother) died and is trying to lay a quilt trip on them." What is a QUILT TRIP, is that a PBS show?
 

casa

Senior Member
rmet4nzkx said:
WAS, he left for personal reasons :rolleyes: or so he says.

BTW OP says "because her mom (their grandmother) died and is trying to lay a quilt trip on them." What is a QUILT TRIP, is that a PBS show?
traveling quilters...coming to your local community center soon. :p lol couldn't resist. :eek:
 

ryderguy

Junior Member
guilt,guilt,guilt,guilt.... everyone happy now....lol

sorry about that, thats why im marrying a secretary so i dont make these dumb mistakes anymore....also the reason for the kids removal. was that she threatened to kill herself and had loaded guns in her house at the time.. and wasnt guaranteeing the safety of the kids.... so i called local sherriff and they did what had to be done 3 hrs later they were in my van on our way back to my house in ****land at the time
 

vollbree

Junior Member
rmet4nzkx said:
WAS, he left for personal reasons :rolleyes: or so he says. QUOTE]

I'm still in law school, thanks. :D
I just transfered schools in order to be closer to family.
By the way, I'm female.
Now get over your thick egotisticial heads.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
ryderguy said:
sorry about that, thats why im marrying a secretary so i dont make these dumb mistakes anymore....also the reason for the kids removal. was that she threatened to kill herself and had loaded guns in her house at the time.. and wasnt guaranteeing the safety of the kids.... so i called local sherriff and they did what had to be done 3 hrs later they were in my van on our way back to my house in ****land at the time
You are forgiven, but we couldn't resist the Quilt trip!
Given the facts of her mental instability, explain to the children that you want them to have a relationship with their mother but it is in their best interest to live with you. You don't have to do anything until she hires an attorney and files for modification and then she will have to prove that she is no longer a threat to self or others. You may want your attorney to communicate with her and also to modify visitaiton to some form of supervised communication or limited to your state.
 

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