Custody of my neice

[Thumbelina]

What is the name of your state? FL

Hi. When my neice was 6 mos. old, I took temporary custoday of her (she was in state care). Parental rights were subsequently terminated. I was denied adoption, because I couldn't financially support her and myself. My roommate adopted her, with the verbal agreement that she would be with me, if and when I move out. I don't think he is fit to have her in his care (example: she is 5 - I came out one morning to find her sitting on the couch, watching cartoons. He had just gotten out of the shower and was naked with his leg propped up on the couch, toweling off in front of her!), and he says the courts won't let me have her anyway, because I was Baker Acted (over 10 years ago). If I can financially support myself and her, wouldn't I be able to gain legal custody of her? If not, how do I go about having her removed from his care?

Thanks

 

[CourtClerk]

If she's already been adopted by someone, then no.

I'm curious though. How did your roommate become her adoptive parent out of nowhere? Was he a licensed foster parent? Was he looking to adopt a child already? How did that happen?

 

[penelope10]

If she's already been adopted by someone, then no.

I'm curious though. How did your roommate become her adoptive parent out of nowhere? Was he a licensed foster parent? Was he looking to adopt a child already? How did that happen?

That was the question I was going to ask too. As for the shower thing all I can say is YUCK.

 

[Thumbelina]

No, he was not a licensed foster parent. We were sharing taking care of her, living in the same house and everything. So, it was suggested that he apply to adopt her. The problem is (even if I CAN'T gain custody of her), she shouldn't be left alone with him, and I want to move out, but I can't take her with me. I would feel awful about leaving her here with him alone.

 

[Zigner]

Um, this is the child's FATHER we're talking about here.
If you TRULY feel he is a danger (due to the towel episode), then you should call CPS

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? FL

Hi. When my neice was 6 mos. old, I took temporary custoday of her (she was in state care). Parental rights were subsequently terminated. I was denied adoption, because I couldn't financially support her and myself. My roommate adopted her, with the verbal agreement that she would be with me, if and when I move out. I don't think he is fit to have her in his care (example: she is 5 - I came out one morning to find her sitting on the couch, watching cartoons. He had just gotten out of the shower and was naked with his leg propped up on the couch, toweling off in front of her!), and he says the courts won't let me have her anyway, because I was Baker Acted (over 10 years ago). If I can financially support myself and her, wouldn't I be able to gain legal custody of her? If not, how do I go about having her removed from his care?

Thanks

No, he was not a licensed foster parent. We were sharing taking care of her, living in the same house and everything. So, it was suggested that he apply to adopt her. The problem is (even if I CAN'T gain custody of her), she shouldn't be left alone with him, and I want to move out, but I can't take her with me. I would feel awful about leaving her here with him alone.

I think there's something fishy in your story.

 

[3UofMfans]

Was/is this your boyfriend? It is odd that you would ask a roommate to adopt your niece or that he would be naked in the house like that if you were only roommates.

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state? FL

Hi. When my neice was 6 mos. old, I took temporary custoday of her (she was in state care). Parental rights were subsequently terminated. I was denied adoption, because I couldn't financially support her and myself. My roommate adopted her,

So he is now her father.

with the verbal agreement that she would be with me, if and when I move out.

A verbal agreement is as good as the paper it's written on.

I don't think he is fit to have her in his care (example: she is 5 - I came out one morning to find her sitting on the couch, watching cartoons. He had just gotten out of the shower and was naked with his leg propped up on the couch, toweling off in front of her!),

Honestly? While it's not my thing, a lot of families are lax when it comes to nudity at home. That, in and of itself, doesn't make him a danger to his daughter.

and he says the courts won't let me have her anyway, because I was Baker Acted (over 10 years ago).

Well, that may come into play, but apart from that, you are legally a stranger. And it's entirely possible that your past medical history will work against you.

If I can financially support myself and her, wouldn't I be able to gain legal custody of her?

Nope. No more than I could. You are a stranger to her. Her father has not been found to be unfit or a danger to her. You have absolutely no rights here.

If not, how do I go about having her removed from his care?

Thanks

You have to report him to CPS - which I would caution you to do only if he is truly a danger to the child. However, that does not mean they'll give the kid to you. Especially with your past history.

 

[penelope10]

So he is now her father.



A verbal agreement is as good as the paper it's written on.



Honestly? While it's not my thing, a lot of families are lax when it comes to nudity at home. That, in and of itself, doesn't make him a danger to his daughter.



Well, that may come into play, but apart from that, you are legally a stranger. And it's entirely possible that your past medical history will work against you.



Nope. No more than I could. You are a stranger to her. Her father has not been found to be unfit or a danger to her. You have absolutely no rights here.



You have to report him to CPS - which I would caution you to do only if he is truly a danger to the child. However, that does not mean they'll give the kid to you. Especially with your past history.

And I just wanted to further add that just because she's removed from the home doesn't mean you'll get her. If you suspect child abuse you MUST report him. But if this is some kind of ploy in the hopes that you'll get the child it may blow up in your face.

 

[Thumbelina]

Was/is this your boyfriend? It is odd that you would ask a roommate to adopt your niece or that he would be naked in the house like that if you were only roommates.

A long time ago, we were dating. We told the adoption agency (and before that DCF) that we were a couple thinking it would make things less awkward - less for them to frown on and whatnot.

 

[stealth2]

A long time ago, we were dating. We told the adoption agency (and before that DCF) that we were a couple thinking it would make things less awkward - less for them to frown on and whatnot.

Well... that's not going to change matters. He is her father, and you are no longer her aunt. Sorry.

 

[Thumbelina]

And I just wanted to further add that just because she's removed from the home doesn't mean you'll get her. If you suspect child abuse you MUST report him. But if this is some kind of ploy in the hopes that you'll get the child it may blow up in your face.

It's not a ploy, I would be happy enough knowing that I got her out of a situation that I put her in in the first place. This is my fault, I suggested he adopt her, I lied about us being a couple, I failed to mention that his house was in foreclosure (that happened after they had done the background check on him, so it slipped through), etc. The towel incident was just an example of many "odd" (creepy) behaviors of his. This guy has no business with a child, and I knew that, but I took him at his word - that he was doing this as a favor to me. At this point, all I want to do is right what's wrong. I'm using this forum instead of reporting him, because what I'm hearing is what I was afraid of - that he looks good ON PAPER, and nothing I say is going to matter.

 

[stealth2]

Then, in all seriousness, you stay where you are until you have enough proof to report him to CPS. But please be aware that you will likely not end up with the child.

 

[las365]

This whole story sounds like baloney. If OP couldn't qualify as an adoptive parent, why would her being the live-in lover of the prospective adoptive single dad be a plus in allowing him to adopt?

She says that she knew he was too creepy and weird to be around a child, so she lied in order to get her niece adopted by him? If that is true, then she has no business being around the child herself. She's just in here floating stories to see what people will buy.

However

you are no longer her aunt.

I think she actually is still the child's aunt.

 

[soon2bstep]

it kind of does sound like a troll posting.....because wtf?????

wow, some guy with a house and income was able to saunter in, say he's with you, and he adopts her??? hell, if that was possible, i'd have 2 different friends kids(and i have more than enough proof to get those children removed...)oh and hey imagine this stuff....my fiance attempted to adopt his nephew when the state of tx said they'd give precedence to family coming forward after his brother and childs mom signed off rights, and tx said NOPE...and fiance had a good job, home, a wife...and another child(his wife at time was working also)but they decided to give the child to a legal stranger but not you???...so i must say i think this post is BS

and OP if you were that concerned about the nakedness thing you would have already called, not got on here and asked....., call on me, cos being pregnant, if i get hot at my moms house, i walk around her house in a long tshirt and panties, and my brother is 9...oh and i've also had to shower once with my 8 month old nephew cos it was the oooooonly way he wouldnt freak out in the tub(he is 2 and gets freaked out with water).....oh and i've accidentally been totally naked in front of my stepson, cos those stupid *push locks* on our bedroom door gave out, and i was naked from head to toes!!! wasnt even holding a towel!!! and my fiance has been undressed in front of my stepdaughter although it wasnt intentional.....(((ok only the part about bathing with the 8 month old is true!!)) but i thought i'd throw some *stuff* out there.....