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Thread: Custody Neglect

  1. #1
    CRYREN8972 is offline Junior Member
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    Custody Neglect

    What is the name of your state? NC, CA
    My fiance and I live in NC. His child is now in California living with her grandmother. Her mother is NOT in the household...but is trying to sue for child support. This is the second time she has tried this, and each time my fiance has notified social services. SS has informed him that if he knows neglect is going on, and does not sue for custody, then he is liable as well. We don't have the money to sue for custody, but would LOVE for his daughter to come live with us. What course of action can we take in this matter?
  2. #2
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CRYREN8972 View Post
    What is the name of your state? NC, CA
    My fiance and I live in NC. His child is now in California living with her grandmother. Her mother is NOT in the household...but is trying to sue for child support. This is the second time she has tried this, and each time my fiance has notified social services. SS has informed him that if he knows neglect is going on, and does not sue for custody, then he is liable as well. We don't have the money to sue for custody, but would LOVE for his daughter to come live with us. What course of action can we take in this matter?
    It may be the state that is pushing for support to be ordered, because the child is receiving state aid.
  3. #3
    CRYREN8972 is offline Junior Member
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    It's not the state. She's the one filing. She's not receiving any support from the state at this point. If she were, she would be doing so illegally as the child doesn't reside with her. Is there any way we can file for custody when we don't have the 5000.00 an attorney is requesting for file for us?
  4. #4
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Nope. But Dad could.
  5. #5
    CRYREN8972 is offline Junior Member
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    My fiance IS the father...the child is living with HIS mother. The mother is suing for child support, but not living with the child. I'm not worried about the support matter...I'm concerned that Social Services informed him that if he does NOT sue for custody then he is also liable for the neglect. We don't have the money to sue...is there ANY way to sue for custody without having to pay an attorney 5000.00???????
  6. #6
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Yes, DAD can file for custody in the court holding jurisdiction himself. He'd need to research the appropriate law to see what he needs to file, etc.
  7. #7
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealth2 View Post
    Yes, DAD can file for custody in the court holding jurisdiction himself. He'd need to research the appropriate law to see what he needs to file, etc.
    However it is tough to do on a long distance basis.
  8. #8
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Depends on where jurisdiction lies. That was never stated.
  9. #9
    GrowUp! is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CRYREN8972 View Post
    My fiance IS the father...the child is living with HIS mother. The mother is suing for child support, but not living with the child. I'm not worried about the support matter...I'm concerned that Social Services informed him that if he does NOT sue for custody then he is also liable for the neglect. We don't have the money to sue...is there ANY way to sue for custody without having to pay an attorney 5000.00???????
    Well a few questions that popped up when I read this:

    - why is the child living with someone else? Is this via a court order or just become mom is irresponsible or whatever the excuse is and handed the child off?

    - How long has this been going on? Why hasn't Dad done anything about it thus far?

    - Social Service people are, for the most part, incompetent. They would have to prove neglect, just like anyone else.

    - Where does the child live? What court has jurisdiction (which would be reflected in the last order issued). Oh wait...is there EVEN A COURT ORDER IN PLACE??! Was this child born from an unmarried relationship? Has DNA been legally determined? Those 3 questions should be answered first.
    Last edited by GrowUp!; 02-07-2007 at 08:49 AM.
  10. #10
    casa is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CRYREN8972 View Post
    My fiance IS the father...the child is living with HIS mother. The mother is suing for child support, but not living with the child. I'm not worried about the support matter...I'm concerned that Social Services informed him that if he does NOT sue for custody then he is also liable for the neglect. We don't have the money to sue...is there ANY way to sue for custody without having to pay an attorney 5000.00???????
    Has fiance asked HIS Mom why she won't let him have the child?

    And...please answer the questions posed above...they are very relevant to how you should proceed next.
  11. #11
    CRYREN8972 is offline Junior Member
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    They were not married.
    DNA has been done, he IS the father.
    As for whether or not there is a child custody order in place, we don't know for sure.
    The mother is leaving all three of her children (one of which is my fiance's) with HIS mother while she lives and works in another county.
    She picks the children up on Fridays, and takes them to her mother's house while she stays with her boyfriend.
    The father has been trying to do something, even had DSS involved, but as someone mentioned, they are bound to prove gross neglect or abuse.
    Otherwise, DSS will not get involved.
    We have contacted attorneys, all of which want 5000.00 to start
    We have been documenting everything to build a case.
  12. #12
    CRYREN8972 is offline Junior Member
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    Oh, and California has jurisdiction at this point, it's the child's home state.
    His mother cannot hand over the child, because she doesnt have the right
    The mother of the child will not give us the child because she wants money for her.
    She sees her as cash....
  13. #13
    casa is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CRYREN8972 View Post
    They were not married.
    DNA has been done, he IS the father.
    As for whether or not there is a child custody order in place, we don't know for sure.
    The mother is leaving all three of her children (one of which is my fiance's) with HIS mother while she lives and works in another county.
    She picks the children up on Fridays, and takes them to her mother's house while she stays with her boyfriend.
    The father has been trying to do something, even had DSS involved, but as someone mentioned, they are bound to prove gross neglect or abuse.
    Otherwise, DSS will not get involved.
    We have contacted attorneys, all of which want 5000.00 to start
    We have been documenting everything to build a case.
    Has fiance asked his mom if she will contact CPS in CA? She can then go on record that Father has been contacting Social Services in NC and is willing/wanting to have custody? I can't understand how Paternal Gma has the child and is supporting her, but will not help with costs to change custody to her son?

    In CA contested Custody goes to Mediation~ and if Dad can get his butt out here for proceedings, or succesfully petition to appear telephonically...he will have a good shot at custody since child is not living with Mom. However, Paternal Gma will have to be willing to testify on his behalf & provide documentation/evidence or testimony that the child has been living with her and not Mom.
  14. #14
    casa is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CRYREN8972 View Post
    Oh, and California has jurisdiction at this point, it's the child's home state.
    His mother cannot hand over the child, because she doesnt have the right
    The mother of the child will not give us the child because she wants money for her.
    She sees her as cash....
    Is CA where Paternity was established??
  15. #15
    ceara19 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CRYREN8972 View Post
    Oh, and California has jurisdiction at this point, it's the child's home state.
    His mother cannot hand over the child, because she doesnt have the right
    The mother of the child will not give us the child because she wants money for her.
    She sees her as cash....
    If dad shows up on her doorstep and demands that HIS child be released to HIM, she doesn't have the right to NOT to turn the child over.

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