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Custody, was never married to father

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anna491

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona.

My son's father and i went to court for child support (through DES) and we did not talk about custody. Our son has been living with me (mother) for 2 years since his dad and i ended our relationship, and there is nothing in the paper work about custody.

he does see his father almost every weekend.

How do i know if i have full custody of my son?

if i dont have full custody of my son, then how do i get started.
 


Isis1

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona.

My son's father and i went to court for child support (through DES) and we did not talk about custody. Our son has been living with me (mother) for 2 years since his dad and i ended our relationship, and there is nothing in the paper work about custody.

he does see his father almost every weekend.

How do i know if i have full custody of my son?

if i dont have full custody of my son, then how do i get started.
well...if you went through DES, the paternity was established. in AZ, i'm still trying to read whether or not you have default primary custody or default joint custody.

i pulled this site

AZ Child Custody Laws for Non Married Parents | eHow.com
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
well...if you went through DES, the paternity was established. in AZ, i'm still trying to read whether or not you have default primary custody or default joint custody.

i pulled this site

AZ Child Custody Laws for Non Married Parents | eHow.com
As I understand what I've read, the father has no custody rights until he files. Establishing paternity does not give him any rights, other than the right to file for custody and/or visitation.

Once he files, there is no presumption of which parent should get custody. Rather, 'best interests of the child' is the determining factor. On paper, the father and mother are equal since there is no reference to gender in the laws. HOWEVER, since the mother has the child from birth and it will take months to file for custody and get a hearing, the mother does have an advantage in reality. Based on that and the tone of the articles I read, I would assume that if Dad files for custody, he is most likely to get joint legal with visitation and Mom is likely to retain primary physical unless the parties agree otherwise or unless one of the parents is unfit.

A general discussion of the issues is here (I am not recommending this law firm - it just looked like a good summary):
Fathers? Parental Rights in Child Custody | Law Offices of Scott David Stewart
 

anna491

Junior Member
As I understand what I've read, the father has no custody rights until he files. Establishing paternity does not give him any rights, other than the right to file for custody and/or visitation.

Once he files, there is no presumption of which parent should get custody. Rather, 'best interests of the child' is the determining factor. On paper, the father and mother are equal since there is no reference to gender in the laws. HOWEVER, since the mother has the child from birth and it will take months to file for custody and get a hearing, the mother does have an advantage in reality. Based on that and the tone of the articles I read, I would assume that if Dad files for custody, he is most likely to get joint legal with visitation and Mom is likely to retain primary physical unless the parties agree otherwise or unless one of the parents is unfit.

A general discussion of the issues is here (I am not recommending this law firm - it just looked like a good summary):
Fathers? Parental Rights in Child Custody | Law Offices of Scott David Stewart

So lets say i dont want him to take our son anymore until it has gone through court. Would that look bad on me if i keep him from his father? I more then likely wont but it does not hurt to ask.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
So lets say i dont want him to take our son anymore until it has gone through court. Would that look bad on me if i keep him from his father? I more then likely wont but it does not hurt to ask.
If you cut off the visitation that you both have agreed to, you won't be doing anything against the law. HOWEVER, if you do this and the father runs to the courthouse right away to establish a custody & visitation schedule, you can expect that he will be awarded at least the same level of visitation that he currently has, if not more.

Is there a problem?
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
If you cut off the visitation that you both have agreed to, you won't be doing anything against the law. HOWEVER, if you do this and the father runs to the courthouse right away to establish a custody & visitation schedule, you can expect that he will be awarded at least the same level of visitation that he currently has, if not more.

Is there a problem?
The bolded part is important. In most (if not all) states, one of the factors that the court considers in determining custody is whether a parent will foster the relationship with the other parent. If you immediately stop, it WILL look bad for you.

Think really hard before cutting off visitation. If you cut off visitation, it will only stop him from seeing the child for a short time (maybe days if he can get an emergency order, maybe months). You're going to be co-parenting for 18 years or more. Why not make an effort to get off on the right foot rather than making everything a battle? I can guarantee that you (and, more importantly, the child) will be happier in the long run if you get along with Dad than if you make everything a battle.

The only exception would be if there's a valid reason why you don't want him to see the child (abuse, etc), but you didn't state anything. You should work out a visitation schedule and get it in place - it's to everyone's benefit.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
How would your CHILD feel if you suddenly cut of their access to their dad, whom they are used to seeing very frequently?
 

anna491

Junior Member
The bolded part is important. In most (if not all) states, one of the factors that the court considers in determining custody is whether a parent will foster the relationship with the other parent. If you immediately stop, it WILL look bad for you.

Think really hard before cutting off visitation. If you cut off visitation, it will only stop him from seeing the child for a short time (maybe days if he can get an emergency order, maybe months). You're going to be co-parenting for 18 years or more. Why not make an effort to get off on the right foot rather than making everything a battle? I can guarantee that you (and, more importantly, the child) will be happier in the long run if you get along with Dad than if you make everything a battle.

The only exception would be if there's a valid reason why you don't want him to see the child (abuse, etc), but you didn't state anything. You should work out a visitation schedule and get it in place - it's to everyone's benefit.


I am not really sure what i should do. I called him today to talk about child support, visitaion and custody. What i am getting from him is that he is just mad that he has to pay support and pay for the gas to come and get his son. I have offered many things to him like giving him 20 bucks for gas and he still says thats not enough. He says im screwing him over on visitaion when he knows for a fact he can just call me up and ask me to take him. The only thing i told him is let me know a week an adavince if you want to take him so i can make sure he does not have appointments and what not.

As of right now, i believe i have all the paper i need to take him to court but im not sure of the fees and such when it comes to this. Also i cant find arizona emerangy hearing for tempary custody of our son.
 

anna491

Junior Member
The bolded part is important. In most (if not all) states, one of the factors that the court considers in determining custody is whether a parent will foster the relationship with the other parent. If you immediately stop, it WILL look bad for you.

Think really hard before cutting off visitation. If you cut off visitation, it will only stop him from seeing the child for a short time (maybe days if he can get an emergency order, maybe months). You're going to be co-parenting for 18 years or more. Why not make an effort to get off on the right foot rather than making everything a battle? I can guarantee that you (and, more importantly, the child) will be happier in the long run if you get along with Dad than if you make everything a battle.

The only exception would be if there's a valid reason why you don't want him to see the child (abuse, etc), but you didn't state anything. You should work out a visitation schedule and get it in place - it's to everyone's benefit.

The only problems that the place of where is father is living is with his mother being a alochlic and being abuseive. I dont believe she has hurt our son. Another thing would be is that his father does not have a stable place to live and sometimes i dont know where my son is because his father does not pick up the phone. I have tried many time talking to him and it does not seem to work.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
I am not really sure what i should do. I called him today to talk about child support, visitaion and custody. What i am getting from him is that he is just mad that he has to pay support and pay for the gas to come and get his son. I have offered many things to him like giving him 20 bucks for gas and he still says thats not enough. He says im screwing him over on visitaion when he knows for a fact he can just call me up and ask me to take him. The only thing i told him is let me know a week an adavince if you want to take him so i can make sure he does not have appointments and what not.

As of right now, i believe i have all the paper i need to take him to court but im not sure of the fees and such when it comes to this. Also i cant find arizona emerangy hearing for tempary custody of our son.


There is no emergency here.

You just need to file.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
I am not really sure what i should do. I called him today to talk about child support, visitaion and custody. What i am getting from him is that he is just mad that he has to pay support and pay for the gas to come and get his son. I have offered many things to him like giving him 20 bucks for gas and he still says thats not enough. He says im screwing him over on visitaion when he knows for a fact he can just call me up and ask me to take him. The only thing i told him is let me know a week an adavince if you want to take him so i can make sure he does not have appointments and what not.

As of right now, i believe i have all the paper i need to take him to court but im not sure of the fees and such when it comes to this. Also i cant find arizona emerangy hearing for tempary custody of our son.
It's not an emergency. File to have a custody and visitation order put into place and child support, as well. Then follow the court order to the letter.

The only problems that the place of where is father is living is with his mother being a alochlic and being abuseive. I dont believe she has hurt our son. Another thing would be is that his father does not have a stable place to live and sometimes i dont know where my son is because his father does not pick up the phone. I have tried many time talking to him and it does not seem to work.
Irrelevant. Unless you can prove that it constitutes a danger to the child, it's not going to change anything.
 

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