Custody and Second Marriage

[jcleveland]

What is the name of your state? Arizona

My girlfriend and I want to get married, we work for the same company but live in different states. I live in Oregon while she lives in Arizona. In Arizona there are laws stating that the parent can not leave the state without the other parents permission. If we were to get married, would she and her child be able to move up to Oregon or would that have little affect on the situation.

Two problems against me moving to Arizona are:

1.) I have a daughter who lives in Oregon, her mother and I share joint custody. She has a medical condition and I feel that need to be in the state to help take care of her.
2.) I would have to take a significant pay and position decrease if I were to move down there making it more difficult to take care of my soon to be two families.

I'm looking for any suggestions or advice, thank youWhat is the name of your state?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? Arizona

My girlfriend and I want to get married, we work for the same company but live in different states. I live in Oregon while she lives in Arizona. In Arizona there are laws stating that the parent can not leave the state without the other parents permission. If we were to get married, would she and her child be able to move up to Oregon or would that have little affect on the situation.

No affect on the law. The child still has a FATHER, and it is not you.

Two problems against me moving to Arizona are:

1.) I have a daughter who lives in Oregon, her mother and I share joint custody. She has a medical condition and I feel that need to be in the state to help take care of her.
2.) I would have to take a significant pay and position decrease if I were to move down there making it more difficult to take care of my soon to be two families.

I'm looking for any suggestions or advice, thank youWhat is the name of your state?

You probably need to find a new girlfriend. The two of you have separate lives.

 

[nextwife]

No affect on the law. The child still has a FATHER, and it is not you.


You probably need to find a new girlfriend. The two of you have separate lives.

Or mom can turn custody over to dad. Then she is free to move to new Zealand, or China, or anywhere, if she wishes.

 

[nextwife]

What is the name of your state? Arizona

My girlfriend and I want to get married, we work for the same company but live in different states. I live in Oregon while she lives in Arizona. In Arizona there are laws stating that the parent can not leave the state without the other parents permission. If we were to get married, would she and her child be able to move up to Oregon or would that have little affect on the situation.

Two problems against me moving to Arizona are:

1.) I have a daughter who lives in Oregon, her mother and I share joint custody. She has a medical condition and I feel that need to be in the state to help take care of her.
2.) I would have to take a significant pay and position decrease if I were to move down there making it more difficult to take care of my soon to be two families.

I'm looking for any suggestions or advice, thank youWhat is the name of your state?

Mom is responsible to support herself and her share of support for her child. If she wants you to move there, then she can help make up the income deficit.

 

[ceara19]

Haven't we already discussed this situation (maybe with someone else) or am I just experiencing deja vu?

 

[nextwife]

Either the earlier post was deleted, or our poster obtained a new login name. I went looking for his earlier post, because it sounded the same as the one a few days ago.

 

[jcleveland]

Addition to Post

Assuming I have waited my whole life to find this woman and "getting a new girlfriend" is not an option. Is the anything constructive that any of you may be able to suggest?

The father could really care less, it's his mother that truly wants to take custody of the child and they have a lot of money to battle this out.

Look at it like this, I am David, this situation is Goliath and I need someone give me suggestions on proper sling usage. There have to be exceptions to general laws such as this, though if marriage is not one of them, I don't even know where to start. I understand why the law was created, but were talking about people here and there are a million and one flavors with even more variables, isn't there a failsafe when a situation dose not fit the cookie cutter template.

Please no witty cynicism, just need help! Thanks All

 

[ceara19]

There is no legal exception to the fact that mom can't just up and move the kids away from their FATHER! No matter how many new threads you start, the answer will ALWAYS be the same!

 

[Silverplum]

Assuming I have waited my whole life to find this woman and "getting a new girlfriend" is not an option. Is the anything constructive that any of you may be able to suggest?

The father could really care less, it's his mother that truly wants to take custody of the child and they have a lot of money to battle this out.

Look at it like this, I am David, this situation is Goliath and I need someone give me suggestions on proper sling usage. There have to be exceptions to general laws such as this, though if marriage is not one of them, I don't even know where to start. I understand why the law was created, but were talking about people here and there are a million and one flavors with even more variables, isn't there a failsafe when a situation dose not fit the cookie cutter template.

Please no witty cynicism, just need help! Thanks All

Not trying to be witty. I usually fail miserably at that.

The facts are the facts, and the law is the law. If the father of your gf's child does not want her to take the child from the state of AZ, he can fight it. He'll likely win.

If she wants to leave, she can give him custody. That's an option.

Or you can leave your kids in OR behind for this new girl and her kid. Niiiice.

 

[ceara19]

Assuming I have waited my whole life to find this woman

Considering the fact that you already have a child, you really didn't do a very good job of "waiting" for this woman, did you?

 

[nextwife]

Considering the fact that you already have a child, you really didn't do a very good job of "waiting" for this woman, did you?

That doesn't mean he wanted Johnny to wait!

 

[AHA]

The father could really care less, it's his mother that truly wants to take custody of the child

You mean the father couldN'T care less? If that's the truth, then why does your gf think he will fight to keep the kid in "his" state"?
Your gf is afraid of upsetting her ex MOTHER-IN-LAW by moving??????

 

[jcleveland]

info

You mean the father couldN'T care less? If that's the truth, then why does your gf think he will fight to keep the kid in "his" state"?
Your gf is afraid of upsetting her ex MOTHER-IN-LAW by moving??????

When he had first found out that we were dating each other and that I worked for headquarters in Portland, he had stated that he was going to "get joint custody so SHE can't leave the state". Its about him being able to control the situation for him.

As for the mother-in-law issue, She has been trying to take the Child from both of them since the baby was born. She often reminds them that they should not worry themselves with the burden of having a child and if they were to merely give her custody the baby would be fine and they could live carefree. I know the father would not want custody for himself, but he would rather his mom had the child over his ex.

Thanks, let me know if you need any other details

 

[ceara19]

When he had first found out that we were dating each other and that I worked for headquarters in Portland, he had stated that he was going to "get joint custody so SHE can't leave the state". Its about him being able to control the situation for him.

As for the mother-in-law issue, She has been trying to take the Child from both of them since the baby was born. She often reminds them that they should not worry themselves with the burden of having a child and if they were to merely give her custody the baby would be fine and they could live carefree. I know the father would not want custody for himself, but he would rather his mom had the child over his ex.

Thanks, let me know if you need any other details

So you refuse to relocate because you want to maintain control over YOUR ex? Not wanting your child to move to a different state has NOTHING to do with control. Even if mom had SOLE custody, she couldn't just up and move the CHILDREN. Relocation laws are the same regardless of custody status. You also have NO idea what dad feels about the matter. Even if he PERSONALLY told you he didn't want the child, it could just be a ploy on his part to gain custody himself. People LIE, especially when custody is on the line.

 

[LdiJ]

Its not that your girlfriend must have permission from the father to relocate with the child. Its that she must have permission from the father OR the court.

The bottom line is that if your girlfriend WANTS to attempt to relocate with the child, she can petition the courts for permission to do so. Sometimes permission to relocate is granted. However, its quite possible that permission to relocate would be denied, and then the two of you would have to decide whether or not its possible for you to have a future together.