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"Cyberstalking (?)" to prove neglect

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juggler71

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? GA

This is long. Sorry.

My fiance is in a custody battle with the ex. He Googled her back in January, and we found a trail that led to some chat rooms she posts in. She practically lives in one of them, even going so far in her posts to call these people her "family". We opened an account (providing a userid, password, and email address), in order to view her profile and search all her posts. Otherwise, we would only have been able to read through forums, with no specific searches.

The site admin told her she had a "peeper" - someone who was searching her posts. We usually update ourselves on it twice a week. To date we have **never** communicated with her through this site - we only gather info (mainly to record the dates and times of her posts, to show the court that while their son is in her care she is posting incessantly - e.g., every 12-20 minutes during his waking, at-home hours). The site admin then gave her the IP address of the "peeper". ????

We presented the incessant chat-room evidence to his atty last week for discovery for opposing counsel. So now the ex knows we are her "peepers". We are now receiving accusations of "cyberstalking" from her. Our attorneys don't appear to be all that familiar with cyberstalking - I suppose because their concentration is family law.

Based on my understanding of forum chat rooms, there are different types of chat rooms. The first two are open to the public, and are not “broken into” in order to read/post chats. Some can be read immediately, some require that you first create a member account and log-in. Either way, these are both public. And this is what we're accessing. A private room is one where the creator restricts access to the room via a list of members allowed. The properties are set by the creator. A user such as ourselves, who is not on the list, cannot access a private room. And we have not.

From Wikipedia: Cyberstalking is the use of the Internet or other electronic means to stalk someone. It has been defined as the use of information and communications technology, particularly the Internet, by an individual or group of individuals, to harass another individual, group of individuals, or organization. The behavior includes false accusations, monitoring, the transmission of threats, identity theft, damage to data or equipment, the solicitation of minors for sexual purposes, and gathering information for harassment purposes. The harassment must be such that a reasonable person, in possession of the same information, would regard it as sufficient to cause another reasonable person distress.

The only thing I see we're doing in the above definition is monitoring. ***But not for the purpose of harrassment*** Again, we have NEVER contacted her through these chat rooms, nor have we posted on the chat rooms. Our monitoring is the equivalent of hiring a PI, in my opinion, which is standard in many court cases.

QUESTIONS:

1) Even though I certainly don't think we're "stalking", is there an attorney here who thinks her threat holds water?

2) Can we subpoena the contents of her activity in the private rooms?

3) Is there another forum I should be posting this in, per my own comment above that maybe family law isn't the arena in whic to discuss this? LOL Just hoping someone in here is a jack of all trades.

Thanks in advance!!!
 


Silverplum

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? GA

This is long. Sorry.

My fiance is in a custody battle with the ex. He Googled her back in January, and we found a trail that led to some chat rooms she posts in. She practically lives in one of them, even going so far in her posts to call these people her "family". We opened an account (providing a userid, password, and email address), in order to view her profile and search all her posts. Otherwise, we would only have been able to read through forums, with no specific searches.

The site admin told her she had a "peeper" - someone who was searching her posts. We usually update ourselves on it twice a week. To date we have **never** communicated with her through this site - we only gather info (mainly to record the dates and times of her posts, to show the court that while their son is in her care she is posting incessantly - e.g., every 12-20 minutes during his waking, at-home hours). The site admin then gave her the IP address of the "peeper". ????

We presented the incessant chat-room evidence to his atty last week for discovery for opposing counsel. So now the ex knows we are her "peepers". We are now receiving accusations of "cyberstalking" from her. Our attorneys don't appear to be all that familiar with cyberstalking - I suppose because their concentration is family law.

Based on my understanding of forum chat rooms, there are different types of chat rooms. The first two are open to the public, and are not “broken into” in order to read/post chats. Some can be read immediately, some require that you first create a member account and log-in. Either way, these are both public. And this is what we're accessing. A private room is one where the creator restricts access to the room via a list of members allowed. The properties are set by the creator. A user such as ourselves, who is not on the list, cannot access a private room. And we have not.

From Wikipedia: Cyberstalking is the use of the Internet or other electronic means to stalk someone. It has been defined as the use of information and communications technology, particularly the Internet, by an individual or group of individuals, to harass another individual, group of individuals, or organization. The behavior includes false accusations, monitoring, the transmission of threats, identity theft, damage to data or equipment, the solicitation of minors for sexual purposes, and gathering information for harassment purposes. The harassment must be such that a reasonable person, in possession of the same information, would regard it as sufficient to cause another reasonable person distress.

The only thing I see we're doing in the above definition is monitoring. ***But not for the purpose of harrassment*** Again, we have NEVER contacted her through these chat rooms, nor have we posted on the chat rooms. Our monitoring is the equivalent of hiring a PI, in my opinion, which is standard in many court cases.

QUESTIONS:

1) Even though I certainly don't think we're "stalking", is there an attorney here who thinks her threat holds water?

2) Can we subpoena the contents of her activity in the private rooms?

3) Is there another forum I should be posting this in, per my own comment above that maybe family law isn't the arena in whic to discuss this? LOL Just hoping someone in here is a jack of all trades.

Thanks in advance!!!
I think you both are weird and stalkerish. And I don't think you can "prove neglect" via chatroom "records." :rolleyes:

Oh, and Wikipedia? Is NOT any sort of LEGAL reference. It's not a valid reference anywhere, much less a court of law. I don't even think Ward Churchill would crib from Wiki.
 

majomom1

Senior Member
I think you both are weird and stalkerish. And I don't think you can "prove neglect" via chatroom "records." :rolleyes:

Oh, and Wikipedia? Is NOT any sort of LEGAL reference. It's not a valid reference anywhere, much less a court of law. I don't even think Ward Churchill would crib from Wiki.
Geez.... I think OP should provide records showing THEIR time on the internet as well. This, IMO, is almost like peeping in someone's window. Get a life already... It is no one's business what she does during HER time and this in no way will ever prove neglect.

And BTW OP... some of us here have formed friendships close enough to consider each other 'family'... A place to talk, vent, learn and grow is always a good place to be.
 
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Silverplum

Senior Member
Geez.... I think OP should provide records showing THEIR time on the internet as well. This, IMO, is almost like peeping in someone's window. Get a life already... It is no one's business what she does during HER time and this in no way will ever prove neglect.

And BTW OP... some of us here have formed friendships close enough to consider each other 'family'... A place to talk, vent, learn and grow is always a good place to be.
Yep. And really? If I were a judge and this "case" was brought before me, I'd smack the STALKER/S. Not the stalkee.

It's really a parenting issue, if anything at all.
 

juggler71

Junior Member
Hmmm. I didn't mean to ruffle anyone's feathers. It's very sad to see this child every weekend as he comes to us attention-starved. You have no idea what we go through with that. And if you saw the log of the amount of time the ex spends online chatting (and the stupidity of the content - talking about the "sexual preference of Peter Pan" and the "nature of his relationship" with Tinkerbell, among other immature and mindless things), you might feel differently. It's *frightening* how much she does this. Thousands of posts in the last six months, some of them over a full weekend ***when their son is in her care*** - chatting from 5 pm on a Friday til 3 am on Monday, with a break each night to sleep. What do you think their son is doing??? He's only 4, for God's sake.

And this she does instead of working and taking care of her child. She doesn't WORK!!! And lives in the ghetto, where he can't even go outside and play. It's disgusting. And it's doubly hard to swallow when a) my fiance and I work our asses off, and b) we are left to clean up the mess with their son. We are in constant damage control to make up for the disappointment that she is (no Santa on Christmas morning last year, no Easter Bunny on Easter morning this year???? And she needs him holidays because WHY???). And it breaks my heart for their son, as he suffers the most.

So please don't jump on me because you and I are in a chat room right now. I need legal advice - I'm not here or anywhere chit-chatting about funny things I found on you-tube, or whether or not I should get my nipples pierced.

Back to the legal question - how is this considered harrassment when we do not contact her? We log on, print her posts, and compile them for the attorneys. Is hiring a PI to trail her and verify our suspicions that she's using drugs considered harrassment as well?
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
Hmmm. I didn't mean to ruffle anyone's feathers. It's very sad to see this child every weekend as he comes to us attention-starved. You have no idea what we go through with that. And if you saw the log of the amount of time the ex spends online chatting (and the stupidity of the content - talking about the "sexual preference of Peter Pan" and the "nature of his relationship" with Tinkerbell, among other immature and mindless things), you might feel differently. It's *frightening* how much she does this. Thousands of posts in the last six months, some of them over a full weekend ***when their son is in her care*** - chatting from 5 pm on a Friday til 3 am on Monday, with a break each night to sleep. What do you think their son is doing??? He's only 4, for God's sake.

And this she does instead of working and taking care of her child. She doesn't WORK!!! And lives in the ghetto, where he can't even go outside and play. It's disgusting. And it's doubly hard to swallow when a) my fiance and I work our asses off, and b) we are left to clean up the mess with their son. We are in constant damage control to make up for the disappointment that she is (no Santa on Christmas morning last year, no Easter Bunny on Easter morning this year???? And she needs him holidays because WHY???). And it breaks my heart for their son, as he suffers the most.

So please don't jump on me because you and I are in a chat room right now. I need legal advice - I'm not here or anywhere chit-chatting about funny things I found on you-tube, or whether or not I should get my nipples pierced.

Back to the legal question - how is this considered harrassment when we do not contact her? We log on, print her posts, and compile them for the attorneys. Is hiring a PI to trail her and verify our suspicions that she's using drugs considered harrassment as well?
You have failed to read the sticky you were directed to read in Post #2. That much is clear.
 

juggler71

Junior Member
You have failed to read the sticky you were directed to read in Post #2. That much is clear.

Actually I did read it. Not sure what you're referring to. If it's the all-caps, and my two words written as such, they are in fact yelling, and at the ceiling, certainly not at anyone here - but that's obvious by the content.

Is there something else that's an issue? I've missed it - please do let me know. I'm not trying to offend anyone, just looking for actual legal information.

Thanks!
 

Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? GA

This is long. Sorry.

My fiance is in a custody battle with the ex. He Googled her back in January, and we found a trail that led to some chat rooms she posts in. She practically lives in one of them, even going so far in her posts to call these people her "family". We opened an account (providing a userid, password, and email address), in order to view her profile and search all her posts. Otherwise, we would only have been able to read through forums, with no specific searches.

The site admin told her she had a "peeper" - someone who was searching her posts. We usually update ourselves on it twice a week. To date we have **never** communicated with her through this site - we only gather info (mainly to record the dates and times of her posts, to show the court that while their son is in her care she is posting incessantly - e.g., every 12-20 minutes during his waking, at-home hours). The site admin then gave her the IP address of the "peeper". ????

We presented the incessant chat-room evidence to his atty last week for discovery for opposing counsel. So now the ex knows we are her "peepers". We are now receiving accusations of "cyberstalking" from her. Our attorneys don't appear to be all that familiar with cyberstalking - I suppose because their concentration is family law.

Based on my understanding of forum chat rooms, there are different types of chat rooms. The first two are open to the public, and are not “broken into” in order to read/post chats. Some can be read immediately, some require that you first create a member account and log-in. Either way, these are both public. And this is what we're accessing. A private room is one where the creator restricts access to the room via a list of members allowed. The properties are set by the creator. A user such as ourselves, who is not on the list, cannot access a private room. And we have not.

From Wikipedia: Cyberstalking is the use of the Internet or other electronic means to stalk someone. It has been defined as the use of information and communications technology, particularly the Internet, by an individual or group of individuals, to harass another individual, group of individuals, or organization. The behavior includes false accusations, monitoring, the transmission of threats, identity theft, damage to data or equipment, the solicitation of minors for sexual purposes, and gathering information for harassment purposes. The harassment must be such that a reasonable person, in possession of the same information, would regard it as sufficient to cause another reasonable person distress.

The only thing I see we're doing in the above definition is monitoring. ***But not for the purpose of harrassment*** Again, we have NEVER contacted her through these chat rooms, nor have we posted on the chat rooms. Our monitoring is the equivalent of hiring a PI, in my opinion, which is standard in many court cases.

QUESTIONS:

1) Even though I certainly don't think we're "stalking", is there an attorney here who thinks her threat holds water?

2) Can we subpoena the contents of her activity in the private rooms?

3) Is there another forum I should be posting this in, per my own comment above that maybe family law isn't the arena in whic to discuss this? LOL Just hoping someone in here is a jack of all trades.

Thanks in advance!!!
Where exactly do you find it ok that YOU are doing this. You are not even married to the man.

Honestly, you disgust me. You have no right to do this to his X. sorry all, I have not read the whole thread.

But this chick is so way out of line. She shall learn very soon that there is no "WE" in this situation.

Even if you get married OP, you STILL HAVE NO RIGHT"S.

Go Google someone else.
 

fairisfair

Senior Member
Hey Creepy yucky Stalker chick!!!

You sure you aren't married????

You SURE you don't live in Missouri???????????????
 

Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
Hmmm. I didn't mean to ruffle anyone's feathers. It's very sad to see this child every weekend as he comes to us attention-starved. You have no idea what we go through with that. And if you saw the log of the amount of time the ex spends online chatting (and the stupidity of the content - talking about the "sexual preference of Peter Pan" and the "nature of his relationship" with Tinkerbell, among other immature and mindless things), you might feel differently. It's *frightening* how much she does this. Thousands of posts in the last six months, some of them over a full weekend ***when their son is in her care*** - chatting from 5 pm on a Friday til 3 am on Monday, with a break each night to sleep. What do you think their son is doing??? He's only 4, for God's sake.

And this she does instead of working and taking care of her child. She doesn't WORK!!! And lives in the ghetto, where he can't even go outside and play. It's disgusting. And it's doubly hard to swallow when a) my fiance and I work our asses off, and b) we are left to clean up the mess with their son. We are in constant damage control to make up for the disappointment that she is (no Santa on Christmas morning last year, no Easter Bunny on Easter morning this year???? And she needs him holidays because WHY???). And it breaks my heart for their son, as he suffers the most.

So please don't jump on me because you and I are in a chat room right now. I need legal advice - I'm not here or anywhere chit-chatting about funny things I found on you-tube, or whether or not I should get my nipples pierced.

Back to the legal question - how is this considered harrassment when we do not contact her? We log on, print her posts, and compile them for the attorneys. Is hiring a PI to trail her and verify our suspicions that she's using drugs considered harrassment as well?
See, here is the thing. If your boyfriend really cared about such an awfull situation his child is being raised in, then he should be seeking custody. He is not though.

Back off! It's not your kid, will never be your kid, and frankly we can all asume that you are on line obsessed with his X.

Get a life!
 
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