Dad is not fit to have joint custody over my sister and I! Please help two children!

[hurt-child]

What is the name of your state? New York

The main point: my sister, 16 years old as of 9/22, and myself, 20, don't want our father to have joint custody or any rights or any extra manipulative legal abilities to control us. We both wish to leave the country and request he gives us my younger sister's birth certificate and social security card. He is psychologically and emotionally INCAPABLE OF HAVING ANY RIGHTS AS A FATHER ON US. Please help us and hear our story...

Ever since I was little I've hated my father, for physically and emotionally abusing my mother who never knew her legal rights as a new citizen in this country, for never treating me like a daugter, for blaming me for everything bad in his life. I first kept a diary almost 8 years ago in which I've always expressed my feelings about how much he hurts me, emotionally. Ever since I was in elementary school through college I have seeked counseling at my schools and many of teachers and even headmistress knew of my issues with my father.

Finally when my mother listened to my request that she divorce him, the summer of the divorce he sent me away outside of the country. Little did I know, he did this because he didnt want me to be present during the trial, especially since he knew that I would insist to speak up about his treatment towards me and my sister, and my mother, and even his real financial assets. Until I came across this website and other new york state family law websites, I did not know that the court took into consideration the following as taken from http://www.courts.state.ny.us/courthelp/faqs/childcustody.html:

• which parent has been the main care giver/nurturer of the child
• the parenting skills of each parent, their strengths and weaknesses and their ability to provide for the child's special needs, if any
• the mental and physical health of the parents
• whether there has been domestic violence in the family
• work schedules and child care plans of each parent
• the child's relationships with brothers, sisters, and members of the rest of the family
• what the child wants, depending on the age of the child
• each parent's ability to cooperate with the other parent and to encourage a relationship with the other parent, when it is safe to do so

Of course he took advantage of my mother's desperation to get out of the abusive relationship and negotiated a joint custody that has not reflected how aweful of a father he is, and how he really ought to stay the hell away from my sister and I. Since the divorce, he has failed to pay part of the child support, totalling over $20,160 to date, he has refused to provide financial information for me to provide on federal documents such as the FAFSA, when I applied to college, and thus failed to support me as per court order throughout college. All the pain he has caused and the emotional abuse has not just affected me, but my sister who is turning 16 this month. He has done nothing but hurt us and we have both seeked counseling in our academic institutions.

My mother knows very little about the legal system here, in fact, for years he had been taking her tax return because she didn't know what it was. He has never spent any extra money on my sister nor I, in fact, I have had part time jobs since I was in highschool to help pay for any extra things I needed.

Please anyone with legal experience in this area, help my sister and I to legally remove our father's claws from our flesh.What is the name of your state?

 

[LdiJ]

The only thing that I can really suggest is that you encourage your mother to find a way to hire an attorney....even if she has to beg for help from family. There is nothing that you or your sister can do.

 

[BL]

=LdiJ;1708866]The only thing that I can really suggest is that you encourage your mother to find a way to hire an attorney....even if she has to beg for help from family. There is nothing that you or your sister can do.[/

There is nothing legally you or your sister can do , but since you have researched and your mother is ignorant of the laws , you could help her out in maneuvering the court system .

We do not know what the court orders state as far as what kind of Joint Custody, visitations, child support ( except you stated support through college - so I take it there is a CS order in place ).

#1 ) He has no rights for visits with you as you are over 18 .

#2 ) If your mother has little or no income or assets , She can file Petitions in family court . She might qualify for an Attorney at no cost or low cost for issues other than Child support , but she could file a contempt petition for non payment .
She would have a right to bring an interpretor if she doesn't speak good English .


There is usually an advocates person at the courthouse to help with Petitions, info.,etc.

Lastly , She may want to contact an Attorney referral through the bar association for a consult for a small fee .