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Thread: Daddy's rights?

  1. #1
    raiyne1 Guest

    Unhappy Daddy's rights?

    What is the name of your state? Ohio

    My finace and I have recently told the mother of his child that we are planning to enforce the child visitation court orders in order to see his child more than in the past. In the past, he just got her when his ex said it was conveinent for her which was not always the case for us. She is not complying to the rules because she says it is not what the child wants. We have spoke with an attorney and plan on filing contempt charges, but this of course, is going to set off fireworks. Can she keep him from his court ordered rights? She also has said that since she does like me (the finace), she does not want the child around me during visits and will file court papers saying that I am not allowed to be around the child. Can this be done?
    Last edited by raiyne1; 06-03-2003 at 02:28 PM.
  2. #2
    haiku is offline Senior Member
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    now you are speakig with an attorney, that is good.

    No, she cannot make up her own rules against a court order, she must abide by them or face contempt charges.

    unless she can prove you are a danger to the children, it is not likely she can restrict your boyfriend from doing as he pleases with his visitation time.

    my advice to you as a person who has been there and done that and still wears the shirt....

    step WAY back right now. if you give her no ammunition she will have nothing to shoot with. Do not communicate with the mother at all, let your boyfriend do EVERYTHING. there is really no reason for you to be involved at all. you are your boyfriends 'silent' partner when it comes to dealing with the ex.
    "It is easier to build strong children than repair broken men." Frederick Douglas
  3. #3
    raiyne1 Guest
    Thank you for the advise. I try so hard to stay away (I do not make calls, etc.) but when I am the one having to pick up the child, since he works later than 6pm, it is very hard. And now she is saying she will not release her to me. Can she do that or is it contempt as well? This past weekend she would not let me have her and when my boyfriend called on Saturday to try to get her again, she refused to even let him get her. she said he lost his weekend because he was not there at 6pm on Friday. What do we do? She said she is filing something with the courts to keep me away. Can she?
  4. #4
    haiku is offline Senior Member
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    if your boyfriend currently has no standing order for the coming weekend there is really nothing he can do until he gets to court and gets an order.

    document everything for your lawyer and discuss what needs to be done to allow you (or other designated people of his choosing)
    to pick up the child in his absence.
    "It is easier to build strong children than repair broken men." Frederick Douglas
  5. #5
    ChevyGirl Guest
    I have seen a judge order that a parent is not allowed to let anyone stay the night that he/she is not married to. That does happen. But I am sure that you guys have lived together for awhile. And yes, if the court order says that he is to pick up the child at a certain time on a certain date and he does not, he has forfeited his visitation for that time. unless it is in the papers that bio-mom has agreed to release the child to you, you have no right to pick up the child and she has every right to not let you.

    I am step-mommy too and I know what you are going through so hang in there. It is so hard when you love a child so much and there is nothing you can do for them because you have no rights. Which is crazy, you have the right to feed them, bathe them, love them, read them books, spend time with them, nuture them, etc. but you have no legal standing. It is horrible, but you just have to make the best of it.
  6. #6
    haiku is offline Senior Member
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    actually both parties usually must agree to that stipulation and it is NOT a wise idea.....

    Also not every state has those guidelines, you need to check your own state, in both mine and my husbands, anyone can pick up or drop a child, the court considers it nitpicking if you won't drop the child with an 'obvious' known person. Also in my state, though you only have to wait until the designated time for pick up, after that time, the parent who missed the pick up is still entitled to thier vistation at any time during that period.

    your lawyer will tell you what you need to know.
    "It is easier to build strong children than repair broken men." Frederick Douglas
  7. #7
    raiyne1 Guest
    Thank you to everyone for your advise. It means so much! I feel better knowing I may not have "rights" but that she cannot take away his rights because of me. I actually spoke with our attorney last night and he is filing 3 motions with the court this week. 1. Contempt 2. Modification to Rule 24 (the law in Ohio recently changed to better benefit the father) and 3. A change in Child Support (she asked for an increase since she has gone to part-time). I hope everything works out for everyone and she realizes, she is not above the law! Thank you again!
  8. #8
    VeronicaGia is offline Senior Member
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    "She asked for an increase since she has gone to part time." Ask your attorney about imputing her income to her full time rate. It can and has been done. She is voluntarily underemployed.
  9. #9
    raiyne1 Guest
    The first order we received from CSEA showed a huge increase due to her pat-time status. We appealed through CSEA and told them that she is underemployed and her wages should reflect a fulltime status at at least minimum wage for the remaining 24 hours. They issued another order without changing the wages at all. The attorney is filing the final appeal with our other motions. The ex works for Children Services, she has her connections, and all I keep saying is...be patient, her time will run out.

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