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Daughter's father's girlfriend

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lissa85

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Iowa
So here it goes, my daughter who is 3 now, is living primarily with her father. He recently has been granted temporary placement and meanwhile, his current girlfriend has been calling all of the shots. I have been denied visits for almost 2 months even though there is a court order. I have an attorney in which we are in the process of modifying the order and also placing the father in contempt, but the girlfriend thinks that its ok for her to incourage my daughter to call her "mommy" and to call all the shots when it comes to her care and our visitation. The father is aware of what is going on and continues to incourage his girlfriend in the process. I need to know what type of legal actions can be done about this since my attorney is busy trying to build up a case for modification. I know that even as a step parent she would have no legal rights, but with her just being the "girlfriend" there has to be something out there that can stop her from her doings. Any advise would be greatly taken into consideration!!:confused:
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Iowa
So here it goes, my daughter who is 3 now, is living primarily with her father. He recently has been granted temporary placement and meanwhile, his current girlfriend has been calling all of the shots. I have been denied visits for almost 2 months even though there is a court order. I have an attorney in which we are in the process of modifying the order and also placing the father in contempt, but the girlfriend thinks that its ok for her to incourage my daughter to call her "mommy" and to call all the shots when it comes to her care and our visitation. The father is aware of what is going on and continues to incourage his girlfriend in the process. I need to know what type of legal actions can be done about this since my attorney is busy trying to build up a case for modification. I know that even as a step parent she would have no legal rights, but with her just being the "girlfriend" there has to be something out there that can stop her from her doings. Any advise would be greatly taken into consideration!!:confused:


Listen to your attorney.

Really.
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
Listen to your attorney. Even if it were possible to get something put into the order forbidding anyone to ask the child to call someone "mom" or "dad" who isn't, it would be almost impossible to enforce. Your child knows who her mommy is - trust me. However, those shenanigans are going to make him look pretty bad in court and could get custody decided in your favor. Your best bet is to involve a GAL to advocate for your daughter.
 

lissa85

Junior Member
Listen to your attorney.

Really.
It bothers me that she calls her "mommy" yes, but what bothers me the most is that she is "in control" of the father's decisions and always, always has to put her two cents in and tell me how its going to be while the father hides behind her. It's just really frustrating!
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
It bothers me that she calls her "mommy" yes, but what bothers me the most is that she is "in control" of the father's decisions and always, always has to put her two cents in and tell me how its going to be while the father hides behind her. It's just really frustrating!
Listen to your attorney.

In all likelihood, the attorney wants to get the court order clarified so that your visitation rights are completely clear and enforceable. Then, you will be able to call the police with a copy of your order when visitation is denied - and file for contempt each and every time.

I can't say for sure that's what your attorney is going to do, but it's a pretty safe bet.


What you're going through is common here - overstepping girfriends/boyfriends/wives/husbands. She has absolutely no legal place in making decisions affecting the child and if you have a good attorney, much of her interference can be stopped. Meanwhile, you're going to have to learn to deal with it. Insist on dealing with your ex. Enforce the visitation orders to the letter. And ignore most of her nonsense.
 

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