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daughters x-boyfriend forced her to sign custody paper granting him custody

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grandmaneedhelp

Guest
What is the name of your state? alaska

Is there anything that can be done.....My daughter was forced to sign custody papers granting him physical custody on the 2 children they had while together. What i mean by forced is he called her every day, sometimes more then once a day telling her he wanted possession of the children, told her he would take her to court if she didnt sign the papers his lawyer had drawn up. He had the oldest child , wouldnt return him tell she signed the papers, threated to hurt her new boyfriend, that he would have his grandmother lie on any statements to his advantage (she does have both of those conversations recorded)he told her she would loose any court battle because he had money to care for the children. He told her not to seek advice from a lawyer, to just sign them. Then said she had no more time, that he was going to for the court and for her to sign them now. She is afraid of him and wanted to see the son he wouldnt return to her so she signed them..
She was physically abused by this person, every time he has gotten in trouble with the law he has ran, that is one reason he is here in AK now, they do not extradite. He has an extensive criminal background going all the way back to his teens. There is a possibility he commited vehicle homicide ( he bragged about running someone over and killing them )

She can not afford a lawyer.. is there anything she can do????
 
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Boxcarbill

Guest
grandmaneedhelp said:
What is the name of your state? alaska

Is there anything that can be done.....My daughter was forced to sign custody papers granting him physical custody on the 2 children they had while together. What i mean by forced is he called her every day, sometimes more then once a day telling her he wanted possession of the children, told her he would take her to court if she didnt sign the papers his lawyer had drawn up. He had the oldest child , wouldnt return him tell she signed the papers, threated to hurt her new boyfriend, that he would have his grandmother lie on any statements to his advantage (she does have both of those conversations recorded)he told her she would loose any court battle because he had money to care for the children. He told her not to seek advice from a lawyer, to just sign them. Then said she had no more time, that he was going to for the court and for her to sign them now. She is afraid of him and wanted to see the son he wouldnt return to her so she signed them..
She was physically abused by this person, every time he has gotten in trouble with the law he has ran, that is one reason he is here in AK now, they do not extradite. He has an extensive criminal background going all the way back to his teens. There is a possibility he commited vehicle homicide ( he bragged about running someone over and killing them )

She can not afford a lawyer.. is there anything she can do????
That isn't force. She had a choice to sign or be taken to court. She chose to sign.
 
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grandmaneedhelp

Guest
umm... so your saying its ok for someone to threaten, lie, manipulate, harass someone that is afraid of him to get what he wants...
 

JETX

Senior Member
"so your saying its ok for someone to threaten, lie, manipulate, harass someone that is afraid of him to get what he wants..."
*** No. We are saying that there are LOTS of other options that she could have done rather than to sign away her rights. For example, she could have fought him in court, contacted the police, recorded his messages, etc. Any or all of these would have helped her 'resist' his actions.... or at the very least would have been able to support her claims of 'duress'.

At this point, this is simply her retroactive claims..... against the signature.
 
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grandmaneedhelp

Guest
She did record phone conversations, she has signed statements from people that know of and have wittnessed his violent behavior and threatening her. She is afraid of him!! This lowlife even turned his father in falsly to workmens comp because his father refused to help him!
 
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Boxcarbill

Guest
grandmaneedhelp said:
umm... so your saying its ok for someone to threaten, lie, manipulate, harass someone that is afraid of him to get what he wants...
" What i mean by forced is he called her every day, sometimes more then once a day telling her he wanted possession of the children, told her he would take her to court if she didnt sign the papers his lawyer had drawn up. He had the oldest child , wouldnt return him tell she signed the papers, threated to hurt her new boyfriend, that he would have his grandmother lie on any statements to his advantage (she does have both of those conversations recorded)he told her she would loose any court battle because he had money to care for the children. He told her not to seek advice from a lawyer, to just sign them. Then said she had no more time, that he was going to for the court and for her to sign them now. She is afraid of him and wanted to see the son he wouldnt return to her so she signed them."

Now that you mention it, lying, manipulating and harassing is pretty standard fare in divorce actions and subsequent family law actions by both litigants! But she had a choice then and she has a choice now. Go to court. Let the judge decide.
 
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grandmaneedhelp

Guest
Will legal aid help with this? She can not afford a lawyer.
 
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Boxcarbill

Guest
grandmaneedhelp said:
Will legal aid help with this? She can not afford a lawyer.
Legal Aid generally does not do custody dispute. They have a limited annual budget and a limited number of lawyers and so they are under state mandate as to the type of case that they can handle and what priority the cases are handled. Generally speaking, Legal Aid only does divorce cases. However, Legal Aid will not charge for telling you whether they will handle the case.
 
Grandmaneedhelp, I'm sorry about what's happened. I know it can be heartbreaking.

I understand about her being afraid and all, but she STILL had a choice and made the choice not to fight him. She could and should have contacted Childrens Services, or any number of Social Service programs including but not limited to women's shelters. They could have helped her.

No one said it was ok for him to harass her - you pulled that out of the air and to be honest, that is pure crap. You are angry but you need to stop twisting things and putting words in other people's mouths.

At the risk of facing JETX's ...um... "wrath" :) yet again, I'll tell you that the mother of my niece & nephew faced similar problems years ago. Intimidation, low self esteem, etc. She allowed her ex to use her (physically, financially) all while paying ZERO child support and disrupting the children's lives. It went on fo ryears and was heartbreaking to me, other relatives including their grandmother.

Over the past couple years she had gotten stronger (although she still allows him to intimidate her somewhat). But she went after child support thru the courts, has a good job, a decent place to live, and although he sees the kids things have settled down *somewhat*.

The point, and yes there is one, is that old saying about leading a horse to water but not being able to make them drink. She needs to contact Childrens Services, and/or one of the MANY organizations that help women and children in these situations.

Sure he is manupulative. But no one can be manipulated unless they ALLOW it.

Extended family members can only advise, try to instill values, and try to get the person to see that life does not have to be disruptive. Sometimes people thrive on drama and turmoil while *saying* they don't. That's why police, social workers, and judges often get so frustrated with women whose drunken, drug abusing, psycho, m"manipulative" mates have sex 24/7, then lie, beat them, they get restraining orders, then allow him to sweetalk his way back in - over and over.....with the excuse of "well, he SAID" or "I guess I have low self-esteem." Or they nod and say this is the last time ....blah blah blah and it starts all over again.

In order for her to improve her life (re: custody and a lot of other things) she has to pick up the phone, do as instructed, stop talking or having contact with this moron, and get it together. SHE has to do that. YOU cannot do it for her. You can talk until you are blue in the face, but SHE has to take responsibility for HER life.

Otherwise this will continue and the children who have already suffered will CONTINUE to suffer, and when they are older they will most likely choose crazy mates and lives of turmoil and violence because that will be the only life they know. :(
 
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JETX

Senior Member
'Justvisiting'.... good post. Thank you.
And to minimize confusion over our earlier 'tiff', though this post also didn't provide any specific legal advice (and I doubt that there is any, other than what I had already said), your post did explain the circumstances and offered some specific suggestions for the writer.

That is what this forum is about... trying to provide accurate, factual responses to peoples circumstances and requests....
 
JETX, and thank you.

I apologize for inappropriate comments elsewhere and will delete/edit. I sometime also go off inappropriately and I have seen many helpful posts where your advice is respected and admired.

Anyway, this particular issue described here hits a nerve because as I mentioned some children I care very much about have been caught up in a mess and it affects them. Those of us on the outside can only do so much, but the mothers Iin this case AND in the ones I know of personally) MUST stop that "he's manipulating me" whine and use any and ALL resources to improve their lives and the lives of their kids.
 
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grandmaneedhelp

Guest
It was me that called him manupulative etc, not my daughter, i dont think she even thought in those terms about him. I tried my best to get her to hold out signing anything, to wait tell monday get a protection order then go take her older child out of school so she had him.. yes when he wouldnt return the child he enrolled him in a school where he lives. I tried to help my daughter as much as i could, explained to her the problem wont go away, she has to stand up to him, looked up on the internet about what she could do, what kinds of evidence she could use in court against him, like his criminal history, violence, drugs, transportation of drugs, in one state he is considered by the law to be a habitual traffic offender, he has never had a licence and can never get one... he gets caught, thrown in jail, begs his family to get him out and he leaves the area... there are atleast 3 states he has warrants in. Im afraid he will get into trouble up here eventually and flee again, with the children :(
 
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grandma,

Yes, get all you can on him but as the mother of the kids your daughter has got to stand up to him.

Anyway, get all the evidence you can, tell her not to be afraid to call police (for the record - police reports) and NEVER sign anything he hands to her - not even a gum wrapper.

I'd contact those 3 states and tell them where he is and to come get his azz. They can share him.
 
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grandmaneedhelp

Guest
How can i get a full criminal report about this guy anyway? I have seen online where you can order it from the state a person has a record from, but it says convictions... i dont think he has any convictions, he has always ran before it went to trial. So there must be warrants for him.. and do these reports only go back so far? I would love to get ahold of his complete criminal history..
 

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