DCF wants a drug screen from me!!!

[LdiJ]

Ok so I know this thread is new but I have an UPDATE!!!! Today when the the social worker called me my gf was at the gyno due to a mass that was located when she went to the hospital a couple weeks ago with a kidney stone. Come to find out my gf has to have a hysterectomy. She got home about 20 min ago and I gave her the message to call the social worker. She told the social worker that all day tomorrow she will be undergoing more test to prepare for her surgey next week and she wouldnt be able to make it tomorrow either. Well the social worked said that for sure the kid will be removed. She has a ton of paperwork from the doctor showing her need to have surgery and giving the fact she had cancer a couple years ago, she needs to have this surgery asap and missing blood work and all the doctor appointments is not a option. But again like i said the social worker doesnt wanna work with us at all.

I am really sorry to hear that, because the caseworker is clearly being unreasonable. Perhaps tommorrow, on your lunch hour, or your gf, during whatever time she has available, should try to talk to the caseworker's supervisor.

However, it is also possible, since your gf has to have surgery, that she would no longer be considered to be suitable for kinship care placement at this time.

Who will be caring for the 5 year old tommorrow while you will be working and your gf will be with her doctors?

 

[msmom22000]

Have you even looked into other options? Have you asked the caseworker about an alternative location to test? Have you asked if you can do it tonight?
There are options, and, if they know you want to cooperate, they may just be a little bit flexible if they're able....not in days, but in testing locations.

 

[LsPilot82]

If I were the caseworker, it sounds to me that both you and the GF are just stalling. The child came out of a home were drugs were being used.

The caseworker wants a Drug test, and the reason she doesnt want the delay is most likely to make sure that you do not take something to mask the drug use(if guilty).

So first you tell the caseworker a reason why you can be tested... until its convenient for you (also enough time to take/buy something to mask a drug test).

NOw the GF who does have placement is stalling as well.

I would yank the child out of your home as well.


This is just my opinion... as I have no legal experience...

but if as a lay person this is what I see... I wonder what a caseworker would thin when she sees these things everyday.

Of course you would see it like that. Apparently everyone has something to hide and there are no more good people in this world with real world problems. No one is trying to hide or stall or mask anything. We were asked to take a drug test sometime tomorrow. I'm sure if we were on drugs then we could find something to mask it between now and tomorrow sometime. But I just started a new job....and now my gf has to have surgery....but she is going to go in to take the drug test as early as possible. But i still have to go to work.

 

[LsPilot82]

I am really sorry to hear that, because the caseworker is clearly being unreasonable. Perhaps tommorrow, on your lunch hour, or your gf, during whatever time she has available, should try to talk to the caseworker's supervisor.

However, it is also possible, since your gf has to have surgery, that she would no longer be considered to be suitable for kinship care placement at this time.

Who will be caring for the 5 year old tommorrow while you will be working and your gf will be with her doctors?

Well the little girl is in kindergarten so the school will have her, then after school she goes to a after school program and wouldnt be home till a lil before 4:00pm.

 

[LdiJ]

Well the little girl is in kindergarten so the school will have her, then after school she goes to a after school program and wouldnt be home till a lil before 4:00pm.

You said that your gf was going to go in early and take the drug test. Is there any chance that you could do it on your lunch hour?..or right after work?

 

[LsPilot82]

You said that your gf was going to go in early and take the drug test. Is there any chance that you could do it on your lunch hour?..or right after work?

Again guys...our job site is more then 70 miles away from where I live. So taking during lunch is not an option. I might be able to get back in time to take it tomorrow afternoon. But my boss told me no promises. And taking the test at a local office where I'll be working tomorrow is out of the question I was told.

 

[Proserpina]

Well the little girl is in kindergarten so the school will have her, then after school she goes to a after school program and wouldnt be home till a lil before 4:00pm.

I can promise you that with a cancer-related hysterectomy, your girlfriend is not going to be overly able to care for a young child for at least - and I'm being INCREDIBLY conservative here - 2 weeks. Most physicians place a weight-lifting restriction for a good 4 weeks.

(And that's LAVH vs. the traditional; if she has to go the traditional route you're talking 6 weeks before she'll start feeling even vaguely back to normal).

Cancer hysts. often include post-surgical chemotherapy and/or radiation, too; I'm not suggesting for one second that this makes a parent unfit but seriously if I was the caseworker I'd be VERY concerned about placing or leaving the child in that situation unless there was always going to be someone else in the house with Mom.

But that's just me.

 

[LsPilot82]

I can promise you that with a cancer-related hysterectomy, your girlfriend is not going to be overly able to care for a young child for at least - and I'm being INCREDIBLY conservative here - 2 weeks. Most physicians place a weight-lifting restriction for a good 4 weeks.

(And that's LAVH vs. the traditional; if she has to go the traditional route you're talking 6 weeks before she'll start feeling even vaguely back to normal).

Cancer hysts. often include post-surgical chemotherapy and/or radiation, too; I'm not suggesting for one second that this makes a parent unfit but seriously if I was the caseworker I'd be VERY concerned about placing or leaving the child in that situation unless there was always going to be someone else in the house with Mom.

But that's just me.

Ya there will be someone in the home all the time with her. And we dont know if its cancer yet. She had lymphoma a couple years ago. But this is unrelated. Right now the doctor said its probably non cancer, but to be on the safe side lets get it out of there. But like I said someone will be here at all times. We have a 14yo and a 19yo girl here as well as me when im off work.

 

[liandrajade]

I can promise you that with a cancer-related hysterectomy, your girlfriend is not going to be overly able to care for a young child for at least - and I'm being INCREDIBLY conservative here - 2 weeks. Most physicians place a weight-lifting restriction for a good 4 weeks.

(And that's LAVH vs. the traditional; if she has to go the traditional route you're talking 6 weeks before she'll start feeling even vaguely back to normal).

Cancer hysts. often include post-surgical chemotherapy and/or radiation, too; I'm not suggesting for one second that this makes a parent unfit but seriously if I was the caseworker I'd be VERY concerned about placing or leaving the child in that situation unless there was always going to be someone else in the house with Mom.

But that's just me.

I second this. I myself also had a hysterectomy due to complications from my last c-section. It is NOT easy at all to recover from. Depending on how the surgical removal is done, you are looking at least a good 6-8 weeks recovery period, with stringent restrictions the 1st 3 weeks. No lifting, moving, exercise, walking, running, climbing, etc etc etc those 1st 2 weeks. You will need to help your girlfriend out a lot.

 

[TNBSMommy]

All the time you've been on here posting today, why couldn't you have simply said "I can't do this tomorrow b/c I'm going to be out of town, but I have time now, can I swing by and go on and do it?"

geez all it is is a drug test, they take like 3 seconds, you could have been in and out before you got your first reply on here.

 

[liandrajade]

geez all it is is a drug test, they take like 3 seconds, you could have been in and out before you got your first reply on here.

DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER! I'm pretty sure something could have been worked out. Urine Tests are extremely fast and all you are doing is peeing in a cup and handing it over to someone.

 

[LdiJ]

DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER! I'm pretty sure something could have been worked out. Urine Tests are extremely fast and all you are doing is peeing in a cup and handing it over to someone.

It probably never occurred to him. I am not sure it would have occurred to me.

 

[Ohiogal]

It probably never occurred to him. I am not sure it would have occurred to me.

Actually it was mentioned to him on posts 12, 19, 32. So if he (oh and you who accused me of not reading all the posts in another thread) had actually read, you would have seen it far before the post you responded to. Hmmmm....

 

[Antigone*]

Ok so I know this thread is new but I have an UPDATE!!!! Today when the the social worker called me my gf was at the gyno due to a mass that was located when she went to the hospital a couple weeks ago with a kidney stone. Come to find out my gf has to have a hysterectomy. She got home about 20 min ago and I gave her the message to call the social worker. She told the social worker that all day tomorrow she will be undergoing more test to prepare for her surgey next week and she wouldnt be able to make it tomorrow either. Well the social worked said that for sure the kid will be removed. She has a ton of paperwork from the doctor showing her need to have surgery and giving the fact she had cancer a couple years ago, she needs to have this surgery asap and missing blood work and all the doctor appointments is not a option. But again like i said the social worker doesnt wanna work with us at all.

After all that is happening to your girlfriend, it looks like the best option is for the child to be in someone else's custody.

 

[stealth2]

And if I lost my job in this economy, in a hard to employ industry, and with me having a record, all because of my girlfriend's drug addict sister I would be leaving too.

A job is worth more than love.

Seems like g/f and kiddo will be better off without you.