Dead Beat Dad

[tab62]

What is the name of your state? wa

Since I cannot get any child support from him- or I can but it isn't worth the effort (court costs, him quitting work). I wanted to know how difficult is it to get FULL Costody? At least I would be able to controll that aspect of the relationship with him. His daughter is 14 and I am sure she will agree with me since she is scared of him anyways.

Thanks.

 

[tigger22472]

FULL(or Sole) custody doesn't mean you get full control. Basically what it means is that you have final say on 'certain' issues. I remember your story from another post. Is there a visitation order? I don't remember? If so until that is changed if he decides he wants visitation regardless what anyone else wants that's what he gets. Sole custody does not give you ALL rights. He would still have rights to school and medical documents if he chose to. The age of your child doesnt' matter until she reaches 18.

 

[tigger22472]

BTW... there isn't a support order but even if there was that alone would not be enough for you to have control or to stop court ordered visitation.

 

[tab62]

I would to control the visits but no eliminate them all. Do you think Full Custody would allow me this? Just hate the 'unplanned visits' that force me to alter my life (work reschdules).

Thanks.

 

[tab62]

Forget to mention that we have joint custody and yes he has visitation rights as of present. I wonder if Full Custody could change that since he hasn't paid anything I would to do this.

 

[tigger22472]

Support and Visitation are separate issues. Just because he isn't paying support(there isn't even an order to do so) doesn't stop visitation. Visitation is set by a judge. The MOST you could get is probably "as agreed by participants".. which could put your a@@ in a sling cuz you can't deny every time he'd ask and just because your daughter doesn't want to doesnt' mean she doesn't have to. Your ex would be a fool to agree to that so more then likely he would get your state standards for visitation which generally is EOW... one evening during the week and alternating holidays and vacations. Sole custody has NOTHING to do with Visitation.

 

[kidoday]

Just hate the 'unplanned visits' that force me to alter my life

Excuse me? Who died and made you queen? Isn't she his daughter also?

Didn't I read that you have no court order, and now all of a sudden you want full custody to alter visitation because it is altering your lifestyle?

Legal advice and not opinion, get your court order to get full custody and you may end up with less than what you have because you are interrupting a father daughter relationship.

 

[Grace_Adler]

Tigger is right. Sole custody doesn't mean you get to control visitation if there is a visitation order and support has nothing to do with it either.

If there is a visitation order, you have to follow it, unless you want to risk him taking you to court for contempt.

What is the schedule now or is there one? If it just says liberal or reasonable visitation, go back to court and have it modified to read certain dates, times, etc. Make it more specific.

 

[tab62]

I'm throwing in the towel! Men are god and they can do what ever the want to women... No wonder we will never have a women president too busy raising their kids...

 

[Grace_Adler]

What are you talking about? It's usually the women who get away with stuff. Not only that but if the shoe were on the other foot how would you feel? You would get the same rights.

Unless Dad is a danger to the child or is otherwise unfit, he has every right to be a part of the child's life and your daughter needs him. There are many people out there who wish they could see their kids, men and women but can't because the other parent wants to play games. And there are many parents out there who wish their ex would take an interest in the kids!

 

[kidoday]

Good Lord Woman. Where in the sam scratch does politics become an issue with you controlling your ex?

 

[FJ1200guy]

Go to court and get an order for Child support first. If he doesn't pay, he doesn't pay, so what? He will always owe... this seems like a no-brainer. While your in court, it can't hurt to ask for full custody. I don't see what the big deal is. And your daughter is old enough for the judge to listen to her preferences...

Later, Lyle