Isn't this supposed to be a forum where others can obtain information and support?
Honestly? No. It's a forum where one can obtain information. Not support - this isn't a chatroom, or a blog, or MyFaceSpaceBook.
"You are the lying bedmate who screws the mother's child..."
Oh, fercryinoutloud! Was that called for? Was it necessary? Was it ACCURATE??? Pffffffffft. It was nothing but inflammatory.
Legally? Pretty much, yeah. Perhaps the same terms might not be used in court. Perhaps they might. But the end result? Same. He - and Mom - are lying to this child. And He - that being OP - is not, legally, Dad.
And if you want to see real destruction, just bring bio dad back in the picture to really mess with that poor kid's head. Oh, yeah, bio dad sure has his 'rights'. And, unfortunately, the daughter may not have any right to say that she has NO desire to 'visit' with a STRANGE MAN. I sure as hell wouldn't want to put my daughter in the hands of a man who hasn't seen her since infancy. Rights? He gave up his rights when he walked out of that child's life. If not legally, he sure as hell did emotionally.
Oh come ON! Destruction? Try lying to your child ALL OF HER LIFE. Making her believe something that just isn't true. THAT, my dear, is destruction. Watch that little girl crumble when she has to visit this stranger because her mother, and step-father, have lied to her and haven't even given that child a chance to accept or comprehend the reality. THAT, is destruction.
Yes, Dad might be the worst thing ever to set foot in a pair of Levi's, but that does NOT remove his LEGAL RIGHTS. Should it? That isn't the point. Surely you realize that?
Sorry, but I'm with the guy who's seeking help here. Not the unknown schmuck who's resurfaced for whatever damn reason.
And that's all very nice. On any other board, he'd probably be welcomed with open arms and virtually drowning in sympathy. But this is not any other board. This - and you should have been able to ascertain this small fact given your apparent experience - is about the legalities of a given situation. Not the emotional impact, not the ethical or moral coulda, woulda, shoulda.
Believe me, many of us have traveled along this same path. We. Get. It.
It's a shame you don't.