• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Dead-beat Mother won't pay child support

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

Status
Not open for further replies.
K

Kmefford_0525

Guest
What is the name of your state? Fairfax County, VA.

Hi all! I'm praying that someone out there can help. My husband and I have exhausted all our finances on getting legal aid for custody of my step-son.

DBM (Dead Beat Mom) was sent to jail for failure to obey a court order.. ie: not paying support, not paying for paternity test, etc...
She got out of jail by promising to get a bond, and then following through with her child support, and arrearage payments.. None of which happened. We are going to court on 12/20, after filing a rule to show cause ourselves with the Circuit court.
DBM did not get the bond, has refused since 2000 to pay for the paternity test; and has not voluntarily given any support to my step-son. She did give the court ordered $700 to my husband, to get out of jail.
When we go back for the rule to show cause, what is going to happen? How can we prepare for it? We'd like to show emails that she sent, that show her contempt for the court system, and her complete lack of parental responsibilities.
I love my step-son more than anything. I've been his mother since he was a few months old, while DBM ran the streets with any number of men. She now lives in a different state, and she has visitation every 3rd week of the month (when she bothers to show up). She has no job; because she says there are none available in her area; yet we pull the classified ads for her area, and there are certainly "no experience necessary" jobs available.
Someone please help. We've worked so hard to give our son a good home, and provide everything he needs.
Thank you,
 


kw0602

Member
You can't do anything to MAKE anyone do anything. This is her child. If she does not want to visit and pay child support as she is ordered then she chooses to go to jail. Since you consider the child to be yours why don't you get her to sign away her parental rights and you adopt the child. You would not be able to get money form her, but as it stands you have no rights to this child period, regardless of whether you take care of him or not. The only thing I can suggest as far as getting money from her is to get a withholding from her income.
My ex does not pay child support and does not have a job. She also visits as will. I have not pursued the child support. (She is only ordered to pay $130/mo. ) The withholding form her disability check has not worked because she will not file for it. If you are in need of the money this is what I would do. I wish you the best of luck with your upsoming court date.
 
K

Kmefford_0525

Guest
I'm sorry.. I don't think I was clear. I know I can't force her to do anything.. Haha.. I can't even force my step-son to eat his vegetables. Oh the times I have wished she would sign her rights away; but as she said two years ago; it makes her smile when she thinks of the pain that my husband has gone through for his son. Unfortunately, DBM won't give up her rights, because she views my step-son as her meal ticket, without visitation with him, she would be thrown out. Anyway.. I am digressing from my actual question.

DBM was sent to jail, she got out by promising to do several things. She did not do any of them. Meanwhile, my husband's lawyer had to stop working for us, because our debt was too high. (Nevermind the fact, we both work full time, my husband goes to school, and I work part-time; and still try to spend as much time with our son as possible.) The lawyer told us we could file a rule to show cause ourselves; which we did.
When we go back for the rule to show cause, what is going to happen? How can we prepare for it? Is there anything we should definetely have ready? We have listings going back a month to show all the jobs in the area, for "no experience needed". We'd like to show the courts emails that she sent my husband, showing her contempt for the court, their orders, and my husband; and showing her complete lack of parental responsibility. I've tried researching online, and at the law libraries, but I am not finding what the exact proceedure is.. or even what happens during a rule to show cause. Any help, would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you,
 

astartes_82

Junior Member
Understand

I understand. After my ex and I divorced 5 years ago, she left and took the kids to California, I live in Wisconsin. In CA, she was charged with at least 3 counts of child neglect. The last I found out by getting a call from CACS one day saying the kids were in a foster home and the mother was in jail. This whole time I was paying child support. I flew out to CA, my expense, had to stay in CA for 4 days waiting for a custody hearing, then brought the kids home to Wisconsin. I continued to pay HER child support for 2 months after this because I fell behind the winter before when I changed jobs. Now it has been over 2 years since I got custody, at the local hearing in wisconsin 2 years ago she agreed to verified she could pay the minimum child support rate which is $175/month, I had been paying $525/mo when she had custody. She has not paid anything except for one tax intercept of her now husbands' tax return last yar which did not cover even a quarter of what was owed at THAT time. This year we did not even receive the tax intercept, guessing she is not being reported on his taxes now after not getting a return last year. My local CSA claims she has not found a loop hole in the system and they can't force someone to work when they have no work history, this should be told to all those currently in jail for child support. I have found info saying that after so long and a dollar amount these things become federal cases but I have been told straight out that I am to maintain contact only with my local CSA by both California and Federal government. The area she lives in has jobs posted (retail, unskilled, etc) all the time so work is available, she just won't. So people, if you don't ever want to have to pay child support, just never get a job! I don't mind supporting my kids, I love them and will do anything for them. The point I try to make to people is that the little extra she is legally obligated to pay would help, and it's the morality of the issue! She is breaking the law! If others can go to jail for not paying child support, why is she an exception? She calls, and the kdis are now at an age where they see the caller ID and say: I don't want to talk to her, and I won't force them to. She has made no effort to see the kids even though she flies back and forth from CA to MN to see family and friends some 6 times a year, has had tattoos done recently, posts videos online of parties she has, and even makes comments online of: "so bored today...should I go to the beach or walk around Hollywood today?" And the system can't or won't do anything about it. She will not agree to terminate parental rights but refuses to acknowledge to me or the kids she ever did anything wrong. They ask her directly why she locked them in their rooms, or why they had no food with her and she changes the subject, this is why they don't want to talk to her anymore. She has had 2 other kids in CA who are in foster care, in fact the agency there has asked me to take them, but I can't afford to raise an additional 2 children (half brothers to the two I have here). She even has active fugitive status according to CA courts right now. So what can we do about these "non-loopholes" these people exploit? We love our kids and don't want to put them through any more drama than necessary, but things like this make the situations even harder for those of us trying to do the good thing. Why be good people when the bad ones get away with what they do?
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top