Define "Custody" and "Neglect"

[Daddy Bear]

A little confused and a whole lot worried

We live in Ca. and my son has lived with me for over a year. His mother sent him to be because he was failing school and having emotional issues. Now that he is doing better I worry that if he goes back to live with her he will end up right back where he started so I am fighting for custody. Does the fact that he has been living with me for over a year and it was a mutual decision constitute a change in the custody arrangement?

Also his mother moved him around a lot (17 times from '92 to '99) and he went to 5 different schools for first grade. He had emotional outbursts that usually ended with him making threats of violence and getting him in trouble at school (often suspend and nearly expelled once). He also had 2 root canals, 3 teeth pulled and 4 cavities filled at the age of 8 because of poor dental hygiene. With that said his mother NEVER physically abuses him. I think I may have a hard time proving abuse but would these things constitute neglect?

Thanks for your help.

Daddy Bear

 

[stealth2]

If he's living with you now, and has for a year - why not simply file for a change in custody based on that?

 

[Daddy Bear]

I have but his mother is really steamed and is fighting it. Basically she wants him to live here with me and my wife while she maintains physical custody rights. So if she wanted she could pull him out of school and out of our home and I could do nothing (legally). Sadly, like a puppy on a leash.

 

[stealth2]

Well, then a judge is going to decide.

 

[SMURFEELAW]

I have but his mother is really steamed and is fighting it. Basically she wants him to live here with me and my wife while she maintains physical custody rights. So if she wanted she could pull him out of school and out of our home and I could do nothing (legally). Sadly, like a puppy on a leash.

I don't know your ex but are you sure that she doesn't want to keep her rights as they are b/c she may be receiving public benefits and or she is securing CS from you and her not having to pay. B/C let me tell you if you haven't legally stopped paying CS you still owe her and they (Judge/DES)(at least in my state) only went back to the date of filing. And my stbhubby had to prove that he had his child 50% of the time you think that would only require showing the judge the order right? Wrong! He had to fight for 2 1/2 years to get his support lowered almost ended up in jail more than once, lost visitation b/c mom said no CS no visits. But in the end he proved what he owed to the tune of $3.00 per month, the ADA of child support enforcement was fired and the judge granted back all lost time. Good Luck and if you haven't filed to stop CS do so.

 

[Daddy Bear]

I realize that...and I appreciate your quick response but it still doesn't answer the questions from my orginial post.

1) Does the fact that he has been living with me for over a year and it was a mutual decision constitute a change in the custody arrangement?
2) Does the numerous moves, root canals, and emotional issues constitute legal neglect?

 

[stealth2]

I realize that...and I appreciate your quick response but it still doesn't answer the questions from my orginial post.

1) Does the fact that he has been living with me for over a year and it was a mutual decision constitute a change in the custody arrangement?

Not legally, unless it was done through the court.

2) Does the numerous moves, root canals, and emotional issues constitute legal neglect?

Maybe, maybe not.

 

[SMURFEELAW]

I realize that...and I appreciate your quick response but it still doesn't answer the questions from my orginial post.

1) Does the fact that he has been living with me for over a year and it was a mutual decision constitute a change in the custody arrangement?
2) Does the numerous moves, root canals, and emotional issues constitute legal neglect?

As to number one yes and no. Yes there was a change and if mom had not agreed then she would have fought it long ago right. But the Custody ORDER was not changed. But the change in circumstances (child living with you) is enough to file for a legal change in custody.

As to number two, not as clear and doubtful. I mean she is taking the child to the dentist, it could be gentetic who knows. As to the moves careless yes neglectful I doubt. And the emotional issues? Also room to wiggle. If the child where malnourished, dehydrated etc that is a different story. I wouldn't jump on that bandwagon it makes you look petty.

 

[Daddy Bear]

Thanks Stealth & SMURFEELAW, ..its much appreciated.