Denial Of Access

[Ohiogal]

id like to mention, she is not violent, just neglectful.

So neglectful that in five years you did nothing. Good grief. The child could get hurt anywhere. including your house.

 

[Proserpina]

Im also not attempting to take custody, unless of course CPS needs to remove him from the home. I'm just trying to establish some ground rules, and ensure my child is safe when he is at home. If i did nothing, and received a a phone call, saying something happened while he was unattended (ie. fell out the window), wouldn't i be every bit as responsible for not acting?

Stop. Just for a second, please stop.

Once more, with feeling: You cannot base anything on "what if". He's FIVE years old - most kids have absolutely no concept of the difference between 5 minutes (when they're doing something fun) and an hour (when they're bored).

The court trusts both parents to make sure as much as possible that the child won't come to harm.

Sometimes harm happens anyway. We cannot control every single aspect of our lives and, again, you're going to come out looking less-than-favorable if this went to court.

What I'm getting is that the child is being somewhat pressed to answer. A 5 year old generally isn't going to volunteer, "OMG Dad..I'm so sick of Mom she won't let me do anything and they leave me alone ALL DAY", unless he is being asked a somewhat leading question. Kids have this inherent need to tell a grown-up what she/he thinks the grown-up wants to hear.

You trusted Mom at one point. You need to trust her until and unless you get actual proof that she's knowingly endangering the child. Otherwise, she'll come out on top every. single. time.

 

[Ohiogal]

Five year olds are NOT considered competent to testify.

 

[DVL0707]

I mean, doesn't the fact that she told him to lie about it, acknowledge she knows that what she was/is doing is wrong? IF she felt like leaving him alone was justified , wouldn't she have said so? I tried addressing my concerns with him being left alone before it came to this, why not just talk?+

 

[CJane]

I mean, doesn't the fact that she told him to lie about it, acknowledge she knows that what she was/is doing is wrong? IF she felt like leaving him alone was justified , wouldn't she have said so?

Maybe. But just MAYBE Mom was thinking "Gawd, every time kiddo tells Dad ANYTHING, Dad blows it out of proportion and creates drama over it, so it would be easier if we just didn't talk to Dad about what goes on at Mom's house."

And Pro makes a good point. A judge would want to know EXACTLY how you came by this information. And if it comes out that you were questioning the child, it's not going to go well for you.

 

[DVL0707]

He's told me this in my ear because it was a secret. After i mentioned to her, and she denied to it, all i did was ask him if he got in trouble for telling me like last time. He then proceeded to tell me his mom threatened to cut a picture of him and I out of a school project if he said anything again. That he has gotten in trouble by both mom and moms boyfriend and they made him cry.

 

[DVL0707]

and not for nothing, saying, "id like to talk about my child being left alone" is hardly dramatic.



---sorry i don't mean to be so testy about everything,I'm just very worried and stressed out. Im trying to do the right thing here and I'm very torn

 

[Proserpina]

I mean, doesn't the fact that she told him to lie about it, acknowledge she knows that what she was/is doing is wrong? IF she felt like leaving him alone was justified , wouldn't she have said so? I tried addressing my concerns with him being left alone before it came to this, why not just talk?+

How will you prove that Mom said anything at all along those lines?

Every single person on this thread is in agreement and there's something to be said for that. We have no dog in this fight, and if anything several posters have managed to gain a reputation of being too Dad-friendly.

Have you ever gone through parenting classes? No, that's not snark - but with someone inexperienced with what does and does not matter, it might be a really good idea so you have a better grasp of what's going on.

Forget restraining orders. And please, STOP listening to those friends who seem to have an opinion based on little more than wanting to stick it to Mom. They are not helping you.

 

[Proserpina]

and not for nothing, saying, "id like to talk about my child being left alone" is hardly dramatic.

You: Mom, can we talk for a sec? Kiddo seems to be upset

Mom: Okay...

You: He's saying that he's often left alone and that he's being forced to tell lies

Mom: LOL oh dear...yeah, he has a new friend from down the street and HIS parents are not really good at co-parenting. Think nothing of it.


(See what I mean?)

 

[Zigner]

DVL0707 -

It's obvious that you came here to be told how to do XYZ in furtherance of your goals. It's also obvious that anything you hear that does not fall in line with your desire to hear XYZ and only XYX is simply going to be ignored. The best advice we can give is that you should consult with an attorney. Good luck to your child.

 

[stealth2]

Regardless of the amount of time he is being left alone, I don't believe a 5 year old, should ever, be left unsupervised for any amount of time.

So, when he is with you, you never shower or use the toilet unless he is within sight? Or do you leave him unsupervised while you tend to those personsl needs?

 

[DVL0707]

MY son and I were granted the Order Of protection already, if the court felt like i was being irrational, wouldn't they have denied it?

 

[Zigner]

MY son and I were granted the Order Of protection already, if the court felt like i was being irrational, wouldn't they have denied it?

You had the hearing already?

 

[DVL0707]

So, when he is with you, you never shower or use the toilet unless he is within sight? Or do you leave him unsupervised while you tend to those personsl needs?

I think going to the other room to use the toilet, is a little different than traveling down 11 stories to go to the store, or whatever, and going back up.

 

[Zigner]

...the order was granted, and she has been served. the order stated he or i will not be harassed, threatened coerced etc. and paraphrased with a [02]. As of Friday, April 18th, upon being served she (and family members) are refusing to answer phone calls and text messages, and denying me access to my child whom I have seen on a regular basis since his birth...

The order was NOT granted. There is a temporary order in place until a hearing takes place. That does NOT mean that your claim has any merit.

Furthermore, why would you expect her to violate the order by answering your calls? You have requested that she NOT be allowed to contact you. She's cooperating with that request until the hearing takes place.

This is another example of why you need to speak with an attorney.