Denying paternal rights

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by IsabellaSoriano

class action.

Hoosiers.

[Sunnyone83]

Don't count on him just dropping out of his child's life.
Just because he's not interested in school or work doesn't mean he can't or won't be a good father to his child.
Sometimes becoming a parent yourself is the best way to make yourself grow up. Now, that's not the case for everyone..

People like to claim father's are deadbeats, but just because it happens to some people, doesn't mean all fathers are deadbeats.
Grow up, if your child's father wants to be in his child's life, he's entitled to it. Most importantly of all, your own Child is entitled to having it's father in it's life.

There are two ways to go about this:
a) GROW UP and realize your child needs it's father, Stop trying to prevent him from being involved and instead facilitate a good relationship between child and father.

b) stay on the path you are currently following, deny dad any visits, file for child support, watch as dad files for and is granted joint custody and ample visitation, be angry with him all the time, help create a horrible relationship between yourselves that your child will witness on a regular basis. You'll keep denying father his rights and try to thwart him whenever possible. He'll either: fight more more custody or time and win or he'll go away and his child will be left without a father. That child will grow up without its father and will lost part of itself. The child will grow up and eventually learn that you pushed it's father away. That it was your fault and you will spend the rest of your life feeling guilty for making the most important person in your world (should be your child...) suffer so much.

Please chose route A.. Grow up. Your child needs a mother(and a father!) not a child pretending to be a mother.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by Sunnyone83

Don't count on him just dropping out of his child's life.
Just because he's not interested in school or work doesn't mean he can't or won't be a good father to his child.
Sometimes becoming a parent yourself is the best way to make yourself grow up. Now, that's not the case for everyone..

People like to claim father's are deadbeats, but just because it happens to some people, doesn't mean all fathers are deadbeats.
Grow up, if your child's father wants to be in his child's life, he's entitled to it. Most importantly of all, your own Child is entitled to having it's father in it's life.

There are two ways to go about this:
a) GROW UP and realize your child needs it's father, Stop trying to prevent him from being involved and instead facilitate a good relationship between child and father.

b) stay on the path you are currently following, deny dad any visits, file for child support, watch as dad files for and is granted joint custody and ample visitation, be angry with him all the time, help create a horrible relationship between yourselves that your child will witness on a regular basis. You'll keep denying father his rights and try to thwart him whenever possible. He'll either: fight more more custody or time and win or he'll go away and his child will be left without a father. That child will grow up without its father and will lost part of itself. The child will grow up and eventually learn that you pushed it's father away. That it was your fault and you will spend the rest of your life feeling guilty for making the most important person in your world (should be your child...) suffer so much.

Please chose route A.. Grow up. Your child needs a mother(and a father!) not a child pretending to be a mother.

Wow. Just wow.

Awesome post.

[kt09]

Wow. I wasn't going to reply anymore because I'd already deemed this board useless due to the demeaning comments I'd recieved and the ones I'd seen posted to other members with legitimate questions. However, I just can't resist. So all of you are claiming that you would feel perfectly fine with your children being raised by someone who is lazy, has no respect for themselves or anyone else, and no ambition? Children tend to immulate their parents. That's just nature. Do any of you have children? You're telling me you wouldn't wish for a better life for your child? Yes, I made a huge mistake by being in a relationship with this man in the first place. I realize that that is my fault and my problem, but I will do whatever I can to fix that problem now. I'm sure all of you have made mistakes, but you move forward. I am taking steps to make sure that I provide the best life that I can for my child. Any male who is medically able can conceive a child, but not everyone is cut out to be a father. I will not let my son be brought up to be like him. I have a wonderful, supporting, loving family who will be here for this baby, including an amazing father who will be a positive male influence in my baby's life. You all can call me selfish and immature if you want, but I know that I'm doing what is best for my child.

Oh and just out of curiousity, are any of you all lawyers or have had any experience in the legal system? Because it just seems that most everyone is just posting personal opinions rather than legal fact.

[kt09]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

One almost wants to casually see if the IP addresses are similar...y'know?

You are ridiculous. Just because someone has an opinion you don't like, then it can't be a legitimate user (separate from me) posting their opinion. Wow, and you all called me immature? Ok.

[Hisbabygirl77]

Originally Posted by kt09

Wow. I wasn't going to reply anymore because I'd already deemed this board useless due to the demeaning comments I'd recieved and the ones I'd seen posted to other members with legitimate questions. However, I just can't resist. So all of you are claiming that you would feel perfectly fine with your children being raised by someone who is lazy, has no respect for themselves or anyone else, and no ambition? Children tend to immulate their parents. That's just nature. Do any of you have children? You're telling me you wouldn't wish for a better life for your child? Yes, I made a huge mistake by being in a relationship with this man in the first place. I realize that that is my fault and my problem, but I will do whatever I can to fix that problem now. I'm sure all of you have made mistakes, but you move forward. I am taking steps to make sure that I provide the best life that I can for my child. Any male who is medically able can conceive a child, but not everyone is cut out to be a father. I will not let my son be brought up to be like him. I have a wonderful, supporting, loving family who will be here for this baby, including an amazing father who will be a positive male influence in my baby's life. You all can call me selfish and immature if you want, but I know that I'm doing what is best for my child.

Oh and just out of curiousity, are any of you all lawyers or have had any experience in the legal system? Because it just seems that most everyone is just posting personal opinions rather than legal fact.

Try those thoughts on a judge in court and see what the judge says. That was the most idiotic reason for not wanting their child to see their father that I have ever seen. Seriously grow up.

[Proserpina]

So all of you are claiming that you would feel perfectly fine with your children being raised by someone who is lazy, has no respect for themselves or anyone else, and no ambition?

Where exactly did anyone state that?

Children tend to immulate their parents. That's just nature.

I think the word you're looking for is "emulate". "Immolate" means something quite different and if you've mixed the two on purpose the result is rather worrying and quite the cause for concern.

Do any of you have children? You're telling me you wouldn't wish for a better life for your child?

Yup, and yup. That's why I'm dealing with some legal realities that are not to my preference but are the right thing to do.

Because it just seems that most everyone is just posting personal opinions rather than legal fact.

Something tells me you would not be asking such a thing had you received the answers you actually wanted...

[kt09]

Originally Posted by Hisbabygirl77

Try those thoughts on a judge in court and see what the judge says. That was the most idiotic reason for not wanting their child to see their father that I have ever seen. Seriously grow up.

I'm sorry I don't want my baby raised by a deadbeat father who cares about no one but himself. It seems like you would just give up your kids to anyone.

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by kt09

Wow. I wasn't going to reply anymore because I'd already deemed this board useless due to the demeaning comments I'd recieved and the ones I'd seen posted to other members with legitimate questions. However, I just can't resist. So all of you are claiming that you would feel perfectly fine with your children being raised by someone who is lazy, has no respect for themselves or anyone else, and no ambition? Children tend to immulate their parents. That's just nature. Do any of you have children? You're telling me you wouldn't wish for a better life for your child? Yes, I made a huge mistake by being in a relationship with this man in the first place. I realize that that is my fault and my problem, but I will do whatever I can to fix that problem now. I'm sure all of you have made mistakes, but you move forward. I am taking steps to make sure that I provide the best life that I can for my child. Any male who is medically able can conceive a child, but not everyone is cut out to be a father. I will not let my son be brought up to be like him. I have a wonderful, supporting, loving family who will be here for this baby, including an amazing father who will be a positive male influence in my baby's life. You all can call me selfish and immature if you want, but I know that I'm doing what is best for my child.

Oh and just out of curiousity, are any of you all lawyers or have had any experience in the legal system? Because it just seems that most everyone is just posting personal opinions rather than legal fact.

am i okay with it? no. do i deal with it? YES. the father of my two older children dropped out of high school. has NO reading comprehension. the 12 year old can tell his dad never went to college because he is no longer capable of helping him with his homework. i have to explain the court order to him at least once a month because he cannot take it upon himself to read it. he is an assistant manager not even bringing home 2K a month. he'll never make manager because he won't get his GED.

so it's up to ME, to instill that drive into my children. despite how i feel about their dad.

just like it will be YOUR job to motivate your (plural) child to succeed.

[kt09]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Where exactly did anyone state that?



I think the word you're looking for is "emulate". "Immolate" means something quite different and if you've mixed the two on purpose the result is rather worrying and quite the cause for concern.



Yup, and yup. That's why I'm dealing with some legal realities that are not to my preference but are the right thing to do.




Something tells me you would not be asking such a thing had you received the answers you actually wanted...

Whether you said it or not, you're implying it by calling me immature and selfish for trying to do something about it.

And really all you can do is pick on my spelling now? So sorry that I didn't have a dictionary handy to make sure every word I used was spelled correctly.

And yes, if people had posted with exactly what I wanted to hear I would still ask the same question if they couldn't give any legal fact to back it up. I want real advice not insults and not sugar coating.

[Hisbabygirl77]

Originally Posted by kt09

I'm sorry I don't want my baby raised by a deadbeat father who cares about no one but himself. It seems like you would just give up your kids to anyone.

The childs father is not just anyone and its not just YOUR child. What part of that dont you understand? He was good enough for you to spread your lil legs to now wasnt he. So you should have thought about how lazy and dumb he was before you showed what a bigger fool you were to spread your legs for someone who you did not find up to the standards you wanted for the father of your children. He is the other half of your child so remember when you call him names your calling the child the same thing.

[kt09]

Originally Posted by IsabellaSoriano

am i okay with it? no. do i deal with it? YES. the father of my two older children dropped out of high school. has NO reading comprehension. the 12 year old can tell his dad never went to college because he is no longer capable of helping him with his homework. i have to explain the court order to him at least once a month because he cannot take it upon himself to read it. he is an assistant manager not even bringing home 2K a month. he'll never make manager because he won't get his GED.

so it's up to ME, to instill that drive into my children. despite how i feel about their dad.

just like it will be YOUR job to motivate your (plural) child to succeed.

I work hard and am in the process of getting a higher education. My child WILL learn what hard work and ambition are from me. That being said, I am still not going to give him up to his biological father's influences without a fight.

[Hisbabygirl77]

Originally Posted by kt09

Whether you said it or not, you're implying it by calling me immature and selfish for trying to do something about it.

And really all you can do is pick on my spelling now? So sorry that I didn't have a dictionary handy to make sure every word I used was spelled correctly.

And yes, if people had posted with exactly what I wanted to hear I would still ask the same question if they couldn't give any legal fact to back it up. I want real advice not insults and not sugar coating.

You received real legal advice. The childs father if he files will have equal rights to his child as you have. HE will get visitation and more than likely joint custody. He will be part of this childs llife if he wants it because the judge will give him those rights. You cant stop that from happening. Him being lazy and living with his mom will have NO bearing in court when he request to be part of his childs life.

[TheGeekess]

Legally:
After Baby is born, Presumed Dad has the right to file for paternity/custody/visitation/child support.

If Presumed Dad chooses to file for such, you will be court-ordered to co-parent with this man for the next 18+ years.

If Presumed Dad files for such and you choose to ignore/blow off the court orders, Presumed Dad may very well end up with custody and you'll pay Child Support and have visitation per court order.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by kt09

I work hard and am in the process of getting a higher education. My child WILL learn what hard work and ambition are from me. That being said, I am still not going to give him up to his biological father's influences without a fight.

Does that include the Statutory Rape Game, or what?

Look. You brought that up - you have basically stated that unless he went away you'd be quite ok with having him charged for statutory rape if that would mean he'd have no access to his child.

How exactly do you think that will play out?