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11-04-2009, 08:36 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 17
| | | Denying paternal rights
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee
I am having a baby in December, and for a while the baby's father (my ex boyfriend) had not tried to contact me. I ended our relationship before I told anyone that I was pregnant, and I never contacted him to tell him because I don't want him involved. When I first told people that I was, I got one email from him asking if it was true, but after that he left me alone. Since it had been so long since he contacted me, I assumed he was just going to leave things alone. However, recently, he has been emailing me saying that if I don't admit he's the father and give him some kind of rights to see the baby he would get a court order to have a paternity test done and obtain legal rights. If at all possible I want this prevented at all costs.
The father is extremely immature and lazy. He has never been able to hold down a job the whole time that I've known him. He either gets fired or just stops showing up. Once he was fired from a job at a gas station because he was suspected of stealing money from the register. He is 25, living with his mother, he doesn't take responsibility for anything he does wrong, and won't go to college. He would rather drink and party with his friends than act like an adult. He is also a compulsive liar.
All of the above are reasons I don't want him around to be an influence on my son. However, I realize that that is probably not enough to make a court deny him paternal rights. But, although I'm 18 now, I was 17 when I conceived and he was 24. Since this is technically statuatory rape will that have any effect on him being able to get rights? Could charges be pressed and how likely is it that he would be convicted?
Also, I know that he doesn't have a lot of money (due to the fact that he won't work). If he wanted to sue for rights to the baby, would he have to pay for all the legal proceedings? And is that an expensive process? Could he be denied rights if he couldn't pay child support?
I believe this is all of the information. Basically, to sum things up, is there any possible way that I can keep him out of our lives? Thank you for your help. |
11-04-2009, 08:41 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Weigh a pie...
Posts: 6,801
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by kt09  What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee
I am having a baby in December, and for a while the baby's father (my ex boyfriend) had not tried to contact me. I ended our relationship before I told anyone that I was pregnant, and I never contacted him to tell him because I don't want him involved. | A little late for that. Quote: |
When I first told people that I was, I got one email from him asking if it was true, but after that he left me alone. Since it had been so long since he contacted me, I assumed he was just going to leave things alone. However, recently, he has been emailing me saying that if I don't admit he's the father and give him some kind of rights to see the baby he would get a court order to have a paternity test done and obtain legal rights. If at all possible I want this prevented at all costs.
| Too late. If he wants to file he's going to do so and there is nothing you can do to prevent that. Quote: |
The father is extremely immature and lazy. He has never been able to hold down a job the whole time that I've known him. He either gets fired or just stops showing up. Once he was fired from a job at a gas station because he was suspected of stealing money from the register. He is 25, living with his mother, he doesn't take responsibility for anything he does wrong, and won't go to college. He would rather drink and party with his friends than act like an adult. He is also a compulsive liar.
| And yet you chose him to be Daddy to your baby? (and yes, this IS how a court will look at it) Quote: |
All of the above are reasons I don't want him around to be an influence on my son. However, I realize that that is probably not enough to make a court deny him paternal rights. But, although I'm 18 now, I was 17 when I conceived and he was 24. Since this is technically statuatory rape will that have any effect on him being able to get rights? Could charges be pressed and how likely is it that he would be convicted?
| You cannot be serious. So if he stays away, you're ok? If he files you're going to start the Stat Rape Game? Nice. Really nice. Quote: |
Also, I know that he doesn't have a lot of money (due to the fact that he won't work). If he wanted to sue for rights to the baby, would he have to pay for all the legal proceedings? And is that an expensive process? Could he be denied rights if he couldn't pay child support?
| No honey, that's not how it works. Quote:
I believe this is all of the information. Basically, to sum things up, is there any possible way that I can keep him out of our lives? Thank you for your help.
| Nope. I'm hoping you're actually trolling the board and that this isn't a real post. If it is, I feel terribly for this child.
__________________ *****************************
When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all.
— Austin Grossman
Quote: | Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo | |
11-04-2009, 08:49 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 8,587
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by kt09 What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee
I am having a baby in December, and for a while the baby's father (my ex boyfriend) had not tried to contact me. I ended our relationship before I told anyone that I was pregnant, and I never contacted him to tell him because I don't want him involved. When I first told people that I was, I got one email from him asking if it was true, but after that he left me alone. Since it had been so long since he contacted me, I assumed he was just going to leave things alone. However, recently, he has been emailing me saying that if I don't admit he's the father and give him some kind of rights to see the baby he would get a court order to have a paternity test done and obtain legal rights. If at all possible I want this prevented at all costs.
The father is extremely immature and lazy. He has never been able to hold down a job the whole time that I've known him. He either gets fired or just stops showing up. Once he was fired from a job at a gas station because he was suspected of stealing money from the register. He is 25, living with his mother, he doesn't take responsibility for anything he does wrong, and won't go to college. He would rather drink and party with his friends than act like an adult. He is also a compulsive liar.
All of the above are reasons I don't want him around to be an influence on my son. However, I realize that that is probably not enough to make a court deny him paternal rights. But, although I'm 18 now, I was 17 when I conceived and he was 24. Since this is technically statuatory rape will that have any effect on him being able to get rights? Could charges be pressed and how likely is it that he would be convicted?
Also, I know that he doesn't have a lot of money (due to the fact that he won't work). If he wanted to sue for rights to the baby, would he have to pay for all the legal proceedings? And is that an expensive process? Could he be denied rights if he couldn't pay child support?
I believe this is all of the information. Basically, to sum things up, is there any possible way that I can keep him out of our lives? Thank you for your help. | the only for sure way to legally keep him out of your life, would have been to not get pregnant, or not to maintain the pregnancy. that's a legal fact.
ex is well within his rights to file for paternity/custody/visitation/support.
he does not have to have an attorney. he can pay for the filing fees and do the paperwork himself. it's actually not that hard for an unemployed person.
child support and custody/visitation are separate issues. so yes, even without paying for child support, he could still visit the child per the court order.
good luck. enjoy co-parenting with this man until the child is 18. |
11-04-2009, 08:49 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 17
| | | There's no need to be rude. I realize I made a mistake. People do do that you know. I'm sure you've done things you regretted in the end. I thought this was a legitimate board that would offer legal advice not insults. I guess not. |
11-04-2009, 08:49 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5
| | | Let It Be
Girl, He is just bluffing.
Listen to me. Ignore him. If he is a loser as you describe him to be then he will not sue you in court because he will not be able to afford to.
Eventually he will disappear. Dont worry to much. He will go away. It's only at first that men try to act like responsible fathers. |
11-04-2009, 08:51 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 17
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by IsabellaSoriano the only for sure way to legally keep him out of your life, would have been to not get pregnant, or not to maintain the pregnancy. that's a legal fact.
ex is well within his rights to file for paternity/custody/visitation/support.
he does not have to have an attorney. he can pay for the filing fees and do the paperwork himself. it's actually not that hard for an unemployed person.
child support and custody/visitation are separate issues. so yes, even without paying for child support, he could still visit the child per the court order.
good luck. enjoy co-parenting with this man until the child is 18. | My last post was not directed at you. I appreciate your clarification. |
11-04-2009, 08:52 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 8,587
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by lulunozz Girl, He is just bluffing.
Listen to me. Ignore him. If he is a loser as you describe him to be then he will not sue you in court because he will not be able to afford to.
Eventually he will disappear. Dont worry to much. He will go away. It's only at first that men try to act like responsible fathers. | you don't want to stay around here on this board very long, now do you?
how does this HELP the OP if he DOES file? how does this help the OP if dad's DOES grow up and be a father? |
11-04-2009, 08:52 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 17
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by lulunozz Girl, He is just bluffing.
Listen to me. Ignore him. If he is a loser as you describe him to be then he will not sue you in court because he will not be able to afford to.
Eventually he will disappear. Dont worry to much. He will go away. It's only at first that men try to act like responsible fathers. | Thank you for the advice. That's what I'm hoping, but I'm still worried. |
11-04-2009, 08:53 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Weigh a pie...
Posts: 6,801
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by kt09 My last post was not directed at you. I appreciate your clarification. | No, it was to me.
Hey, I'm good with that.
But you need to understand something: you don't get a gimme, a mulligan, a re-do, just because you've now decided that Dad isn't good enough to be Dad anymore.
And as far as lulunozz's post?
Have fun with that. 
__________________ *****************************
When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all.
— Austin Grossman
Quote: | Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo | |
11-04-2009, 08:53 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,622
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by kt09 What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee
I am having a baby in December, and for a while the baby's father (my ex boyfriend) had not tried to contact me. I ended our relationship before I told anyone that I was pregnant, and I never contacted him to tell him because I don't want him involved. When I first told people that I was, I got one email from him asking if it was true, but after that he left me alone. Since it had been so long since he contacted me, I assumed he was just going to leave things alone. However, recently, he has been emailing me saying that if I don't admit he's the father and give him some kind of rights to see the baby he would get a court order to have a paternity test done and obtain legal rights. If at all possible I want this prevented at all costs.
The father is extremely immature and lazy. He has never been able to hold down a job the whole time that I've known him. He either gets fired or just stops showing up. Once he was fired from a job at a gas station because he was suspected of stealing money from the register. He is 25, living with his mother, he doesn't take responsibility for anything he does wrong, and won't go to college. He would rather drink and party with his friends than act like an adult. He is also a compulsive liar.
All of the above are reasons I don't want him around to be an influence on my son. However, I realize that that is probably not enough to make a court deny him paternal rights. But, although I'm 18 now, I was 17 when I conceived and he was 24. Since this is technically statuatory rape will that have any effect on him being able to get rights? Could charges be pressed and how likely is it that he would be convicted?
Also, I know that he doesn't have a lot of money (due to the fact that he won't work). If he wanted to sue for rights to the baby, would he have to pay for all the legal proceedings? And is that an expensive process? Could he be denied rights if he couldn't pay child support?
I believe this is all of the information. Basically, to sum things up, is there any possible way that I can keep him out of our lives? Thank you for your help. | No you can not keep him out of your lives. When you slept with him you invited him into yours and when you became pregnant you invited him into any childs life that you may have. Being lazy and living with mom does not mean anything. He can still be a good father. You are young so I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you dont realize how very selfish you sound. You would want to deny your child their father? That is not the way a good mom thinks and I am sure you want to be a good mom. Be glad your baby has a man who wants to be involved in his life when the time comes. If your ex files then you will have to file a response. Welcome to being an adult now please be the best mother you can be and stop trying to erase the other half of your child.
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Hisbabygirl77
Love is not a feeling it's an act of your will
Its ok I dont bite **************.wait thats a lie.
A child of five could understand this. Quick, send someone to fetch a child of five!
Groucho Marx
Last edited by Hisbabygirl77; 11-04-2009 at 08:57 PM.
|
11-04-2009, 08:54 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Weigh a pie...
Posts: 6,801
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by IsabellaSoriano you don't want to stay around here on this board very long, now do you?
how does this HELP the OP if he DOES file? how does this help the OP if dad's DOES grow up and be a father? | One almost wants to casually see if the IP addresses are similar...y'know? 
__________________ *****************************
When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all.
— Austin Grossman
Quote: | Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo | |
11-04-2009, 08:55 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,622
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by lulunozz Girl, He is just bluffing.
Listen to me. Ignore him. If he is a loser as you describe him to be then he will not sue you in court because he will not be able to afford to.
Eventually he will disappear. Dont worry to much. He will go away. It's only at first that men try to act like responsible fathers. |
Really now? You need to either post something intelligent or stay off the board.
__________________
Hisbabygirl77
Love is not a feeling it's an act of your will
Its ok I dont bite **************.wait thats a lie.
A child of five could understand this. Quick, send someone to fetch a child of five!
Groucho Marx |
11-04-2009, 09:14 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 8,587
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogmatique One almost wants to casually see if the IP addresses are similar...y'know? | casually?? shoot! i want to demand it!! file a subpeona!! get a warrant!!! |
11-04-2009, 09:24 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Weigh a pie...
Posts: 6,801
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by IsabellaSoriano casually?? shoot! i want to demand it!! file a subpeona!! get a warrant!!! | Are you indeed a party to this legal matter m'dear? 
Remember, there is no "we" in...uh..."warrant". Yeah. That's it.
__________________ *****************************
When you can't bear something but it goes on anyway, the person who survives isn't you anymore; you've changed and become someone else, a new person, the one who did bear it after all.
— Austin Grossman
Quote: | Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo | |
11-04-2009, 09:25 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 8,587
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogmatique Are you indeed a party to this legal matter m'dear?
Remember, there is no "we" in...uh..."warrant". Yeah. That's it. | class action.  | |
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