Desperately need advice!!

[KyMomof3]

I really need advice on what to do. My husband has a 5 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Her mother has custody of her. We had her until she was almost 3 years old when her mother met and married someone. She decided to take my step daughter from us. Recently, this woman has decided to go on one of her wild sprees. She is diagnosed as Bi=Polar and we have gone to court many times trying to get custody. We were told that in Kentucky it is virtually impossible to take a child away from his/her mother. Over the past several months the woman has been dumping her kids off on her husband. She will not allow us to see my husbands daughter and hasn't over the past 3 years. We were allowed to visit her at her mothers home, but she owuld never let us take her to our home for weekends. The courts would not do anything to benefit us. We have 3 other children and a VERY stable home environment. Her mother has moved over 17 times in 2 1/2 years. My step daughter started kindergarten this year and we were notified today that she is being charged with neglect and has to appear in court on Wed. b/c she has not sent the child to school for over 3 weeks! Last week she went into the mall and left the child in the car while she shopped. A police officer noticed this and took the child into the mall and paged her mother and told her she was going to be reported to Social Services. SS has been to her home several times this week and they still have not taken the children away. She wants to give custody of both of her children to her husband. We would never have known any of this had her husband not called us today. She has a house full of men staying with her that are doing drugs and drinking. She told her husband that she does not want the children, but she refuses to give us custody of the girl. I called and talked to an attorney that is a friend of our family and he said that after the hearing on Wed. that the judge could very well give custody to the step father without my husbands consent. We want her back in our home where she will have a normal life again. We have already paid an attorney 1000.00 back when this all started and he did nothing. Since we have 3 other children to care for we simply do not have the funds to hire another attorney.

Would going to Social Services on Monday do us any good, or should we just show up and intervene at the hearing on Wed.? We are really unclear on our rights and how to go about getting the child away from that unstable environment


Please Help!

Ky Mom

 

[Kelly143]

I assume that when you said she has custody, it is joint legal custody. If I were your husband, I would file immediately for custody. She is obviously unfit and doesn't want the children. You can get documentation from Social Services and the neglect charges. Talk to her teacher at school and see if she will back you up, she most likely will since it will be in the best interest of the child. You may need the school counselor involved as well. As for the step dad, does he even WANT custody? If he will help you, he would be a great witness to her recent actions. Start documenting EVERYTHING. When you go to court, take as much proof of whatyou have said, past address etc. Courts are hesitant to uproot children from their homes, but if she has moved 17 times in under 3 years, there isn't anything stable that she would be uprooted from. The courts would be more likely to give your hysband custody than the step dad.

Definately contact social services as soon as you can. They may put a temporary hold on the court, or they may recommend that your husband be given custody, which would keep you from having to do a lot of work yourself. (you would still have to file to get legal custody however). Good Luck!

 

[KyMomof3]

They do have join legal custody with her being primary and him only having visitation rights (which have always been denied). The stepfather does not want her. He feels that she should be with us and he will not go to social services with us on Monday morning b/c he fears what she will do with letting him see his child. This woman is vicious. She has worked the system for years and knows every way around it. However, calling her teacher and counselor is an excellent idea. Honestly,I don't see how she can get out of this one, but if there is a way, she will find it.

Thanks so much for your advice. My husband is an absolute basket case over all of this and is asking me what to do. I have no idea how to handle it and honestly don't feel that I have any rights to say anything anyway, just being a step parent. But I definitely feel that no child needs to be in an enviroment such as this, regardless.

Thanks again!