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Disability being used as leverage.

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ganache

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

Please go easy on me as this is my first post. I've been reading a lot here. :)

I've had Sole Physical/Legal Custody (I know it's no longer called that) for about 10 years.
My ex (never married) has only had visitation EOW and every Thursday. He never takes his EOW visitation because he works and only sees the child on Thursdays for about two to three hours. Visitation was established in domestic violence court through an injunction- no violent contact made permanent by judge.

Ex is very angry with me and threatened to take me back to court to change custody. He is saying that my disability causes me to be unfit and he can prove it. He researched it on the internet. He said not only can he prove it, but he said the judge will agree with him and I will lose my custody.

I've had this disease for over 10 years and at times it is debilitating, but I'm under constant care by some of the country's best doctors. Also, my children (I'm married and I have a child with my husband) have never suffered because of it. In fact, they wouldn't even know I had it if it didn't require surgeries.

Anyways, can he use my disability against me in court and would the judge take my custody away because of it?

Thank you in advance.
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

Please go easy on me as this is my first post. I've been reading a lot here. :)

I've had Sole Physical/Legal Custody (I know it's no longer called that) for about 10 years.
My ex (never married) has only had visitation EOW and every Thursday. He never takes his EOW visitation because he works and only sees the child on Thursdays for about two to three hours. Visitation was established in domestic violence court through an injunction- no violent contact made permanent by judge.

Ex is very angry with me and threatened to take me back to court to change custody. He is saying that my disability causes me to be unfit and he can prove it. He researched it on the internet. He said not only can he prove it, but he said the judge will agree with him and I will lose my custody.
He can prove that your disability directly endangers your child? Doesn't sound like it to me...and that's his burden to prove.

I've had this disease for over 10 years and at times it is debilitating, but I'm under constant care by some of the country's best doctors. Also, my children (I'm married and I have a child with my husband) have never suffered because of it. In fact, they wouldn't even know I had it if it didn't require surgeries.

Anyways, can he use my disability against me in court and would the judge take my custody away because of it?

Thank you in advance.
He can try, yes. But from what you've said so far he has very little, if any, chance of doing so.
 

ganache

Junior Member
He can prove that your disability directly endangers your child? Doesn't sound like it to me...and that's his burden to prove.



He can try, yes. But from what you've said so far he has very little, if any, chance of doing so.
Thank you, Dogmatique.

Yes, he said that he researched it on the internet and the symptoms of the disease are debilitating and I must be "super woman" because no human being could take care of a child properly while suffering like that. He said the symptoms make me unfit and unable to properly care for any children.
He said that he will print off the information and he and his attorney are going to make sure that it's brought up in court.
 

CJane

Senior Member
He'd have to prove that your disability had become so severe since the last order (1o years ago) that the impact on the child of being uprooted is offset by the impact of living with your disability.

Doesn't sound like he has a shot in he** which is not to say that he won't try.

What is the nature of your disability? What is the long-term prognosis?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Thank you, Dogmatique.

Yes, he said that he researched it on the internet and the symptoms of the disease are debilitating and I must be "super woman" because no human being could take care of a child properly while suffering like that. He said the symptoms make me unfit and unable to properly care for any children.
He said that he will print off the information and he and his attorney are going to make sure that it's brought up in court.
His problem will be this:

He can have literally a foot of paperwork saying how a particular condition causes XYZ side effects, or is terminal, or renders the patient unfit.

That's fine.

But is he able to prove that YOU are unfit? Admittedly I'm saying this without knowing your illness/prognosis but without evidence that you, yourself, are unable and unfit to take care of a child, he can wee into the westward wind.

In a hurricane.

And facing the wind itself.
 

ganache

Junior Member
He'd have to prove that your disability had become so severe since the last order (1o years ago) that the impact on the child of being uprooted is offset by the impact of living with your disability.

Doesn't sound like he has a shot in he** which is not to say that he won't try.

What is the nature of your disability? What is the long-term prognosis?
It's incurable, but treatable through surgeries. It's a neurological disease.
Basically, my body makes too much cerebral spinal fluid too rapidly so it causes headaches, blindness, deafness, nose bleeds, spinal deformities, and back pain. There are courses of treatment, which I've had and had no relief, so the last option were surgeries. I have a ventricular peritoneal shunt (long silicone tube that goes from my brain to my stomach) that releases the pressure that's caused from the excess fluid. I have a mild silicone allergy so that's the reason for the numerous surgeries. My body just "eats" the silicone, for lack of a better term. If I didn't have the allergy, I would just have one shunt and then never need another.
As long as the pressure stays low, then I don't suffer from the symptoms, other then the headaches, on a daily basis. Once the pressure gets too high, then I experience the symptoms. However, I've had this for over 10 years so I know when the pressure is getting too high and I can keep the symptoms to a minimum by getting spinal taps until the next surgery.
My last surgery was in July 2007 and I haven't had a spinal tap since June 2007.

Thank you for the reply.
 

CJane

Senior Member
Man, I read posts like yours and they serve to remind me just how blessed I really am.

Here's the deal - don't borrow trouble. Dad is essentially blowing legal smoke. IF he files something and IF you're served, THEN come back here w/questions. Until then? Live your life. Go on about your daily business as if Dad had never said anything.

Because he has NO grounds upon which to file and I suspect he knows that.
 

ganache

Junior Member
His problem will be this:

He can have literally a foot of paperwork saying how a particular condition causes XYZ side effects, or is terminal, or renders the patient unfit.

That's fine.

But is he able to prove that YOU are unfit? Admittedly I'm saying this without knowing your illness/prognosis but without evidence that you, yourself, are unable and unfit to take care of a child, he can wee into the westward wind.

In a hurricane.

And facing the wind itself.
LOL! That was really funny!! Thanks for the laugh tonight.

That's the best he can do, I think. He doesn't agree with anything I say or decide to do in regards to our child. So, when he gets mad he threatens custody and then lists a bunch of stuff that he thinks will make me seem unfit: disability/disease, not enough money, education choices, etc. I've never been arrested, haven't had a traffic ticket in eight years, I don't do drugs, never have, I don't drink, etc. He said he just wants to humiliate me in court so he's trying anything he can.
 

ganache

Junior Member
Man, I read posts like yours and they serve to remind me just how blessed I really am.

Here's the deal - don't borrow trouble. Dad is essentially blowing legal smoke. IF he files something and IF you're served, THEN come back here w/questions. Until then? Live your life. Go on about your daily business as if Dad had never said anything.

Because he has NO grounds upon which to file and I suspect he knows that.
OK, thank you. I will!
But, I will stick around to read, if that's OK. It never hurts to learn :)
 

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